Chinese culture is broad and profound, has a long history, and is all-encompassing, and one of the branches is the colloquialism. Sayings are easy to understand, concise and concise words, many sayings are a summary of the daily production and life of the ancients, it is taken from life, acting on life, very grounded, involving the field and scope, covering all aspects of people's lives, some of which are colloquialisms, which involve the truth of people's life, relatively speaking, this kind of saying is full of wisdom, worth learning from future generations, even today, there is a certain guiding significance.
The proverb to be told today is called "a family does not allow three surnames", the literal meaning of this saying is also relatively easy to understand, the difficulty lies in how to understand "three surnames", in fact, "three surnames" does not refer to people with three surnames living together, but refers to the following several different family structures.
In most cases, if the newlyweds have different surnames, the family is formed, and the children follow the husband's surname, and the family has only two surnames, namely the husband's surname and the wife's surname. If you add one more person, it will become three surnames, which is what the saying goes.
There are three cases: 1. Add one more concubine, that is, polygamy. 2. Mother-in-law lives together, that is, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. 3. After divorce, he reorganized his new home with his children, that is, a second-married family.
Let's analyze these three situations in detail:
First, polygamy
Many sayings are produced in the context of the era in which the ancients lived, so it is not possible to look at the sayings from the perspective of the God of today's people, as we all know, there was a polygamous system in the ancient feudal society of the mainland, and it should be more precise to say that it should be a polygamous concubine system. Often this kind of family system, in ancient times, was either a high-ranking official or a nobleman, or a prince and a general.
At the same time, in most cases in ancient times, it was the system of primogeniture inheritance, and the children of concubines and concubines would also have contradictions in the case of competing for interests.
The most typical is the ancient imperial family, as the saying goes: 'Since ancient times, the most ruthless is the imperial family'
Second, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be said to be one of the most difficult and difficult to deal with, how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a very advanced science, for thousands of years, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an inexhaustible topic. Whether the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is handled well or not is directly related to the mother-in-law, wife and husband.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two generations in different eras, in many concepts, the existence of a generation gap is inevitable, living together, if they do not understand each other, there may be contradictions, especially in the concept of parenting. Once there is a contradiction, there is a good chance that it will be out of control, and some people quipped that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can only go to two extremes in the end, either getting better and better, or getting more and more rigid.
As an intermediary, both as a son and a husband, it has the effect of channeling and balancing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and once there is negligence, it may fall into the choice of "mother and daughter-in-law falling into the water at the same time, which one to save first".
If it is not handled well, the mother will be wronged, she will complain: "Married the daughter-in-law forgot the mother", the daughter-in-law was wronged, she will complain: "Marry in and be bullied"
Third and second marriage families
There was once a sitcom popular all over the country, called "Family with Children", Liu Mei in the play is Xia Yu and Xia Xue's stepmother, Xia Donghai in the play is Liu Xing's stepfather, the family in the play, get along well, but this is just a TV series, the reality of the saying is: "The queen mother is difficult, the step father is difficult to raise", the post-father and the mother are also caught in a contradiction, educating the children, too strict management is not good, the management is not good, how to pinch the good degree, is indeed a science.
The above is the explanation of the proverbial saying "one family does not allow three surnames", do you think it makes sense? Comments are welcome.