The "secret" of autistic people traveling independently: love and giving

Since the diagnosis of China's "Autism No. 1" case in 1982, China's autistic families have been on this bumpy and arduous road for 40 years. However, "independent travel" is still the heart disease of many parents of autistic patients.

Most people with autism are not good at communicating with people, and the most basic life skills must be truly mastered through professional support. This is especially true when traveling independently.

According to the teachers of taiyuan anjian children's public welfare service center (hereinafter referred to as "Taiyuan Huiling"), children in better condition may not need too much guidance, but there are also many children who will train for several months in a certain link. The process by which an autistic person travels independently can be more complex and tortuous than imagined.

The autistic youth Yiding mastered this skill under the guidance of his parents.

Start with getting lost

Born in 2000, Like most children with autism, he speaks late. At first, the family did not care, only felt that it was "noble people speak late", until Yiding was 5 years old, reminded by people around him, Yiding's parents took him to the hospital - moderate autism,

Recalling the day when her son was first diagnosed with autism, Yiding's mother said that this diagnosis made it difficult for the family to accept for a while, at that time, her work was very busy, she came out early and returned late, and she had little companionship with Yiding. Not only that, but at that time, when he was young and out of control, he also beat his children with his hands...

As parents of children with autism, they have to face reality and face their children. However, how to raise autistic children, Yiding parents are not clear, they can only get along with their children while groping and summarizing.

Yi Ding was lost many times when he was a child. Mom took him to the supermarket, turned his head and disappeared, and finally found him waiting by the bicycle at the door; Dad took him out, and when he didn't pay attention, he couldn't find him, and when he was anxious to call the police, he found him walking home...

Fortunately, every time the danger is overcome, and this also makes Yiding's mother begin to really understand the child, she vaguely feels that the inner world of autistic children is not as monotonous as ordinary people imagine.

At school age, in order to familiarize yiding with the signs and rules over and over again, learn to control emotions in the crowd, "From home to school, a family can take the bus on the bus, this road does not know how many times it has been back and forth." "Yiding's mother said that communicating with an autistic child is like this, and if you want him to learn a skill, you can't be impatient, let alone imposed."

The most amazing thing about family education is that when parents listen attentively, children can slowly grasp the essence. Patient companionship and proper letting go may be able to tap out the inner strength of your child.

Once, when the couple was busy with work and couldn't take care of picking up their children from school, Yiding was taken to the station by a parent of a classmate and returned home by bus. This was followed by a second, a third, and then a person going to and from school completely independently. In this process, Yi Ding really grasped the essentials of independent travel, and occasionally when the bus changed its route, he could also find a way to return home.

Not only that, Yiding's mother said that now Yiding can already travel freely by using shared bicycles and buses. He also learned to cook, and would take the initiative to fetch water, take couriers, and take on other chores.

Water with kindness

As children with autism grow, families with autism grow and give.

According to the 2014 Blue Book on the Needs of Autistic Families in China, only a quarter of parents retain full-time employment, and more than half of autistic families have one person who has given up their profession to care for their children. Among them, the sacrifices are more made by mothers, who lose regular sleep, lose free time, and have to give up their jobs because their children are not accepted by kindergartens, because their children are bullied and bullied.

In fact, Ichigo's parents began planning long trips when their children were very young. The first time I went to Beijing, Yiding learned a song on the road, sang happily all the way, and the people who traveled with him were also very tolerant. They observed the child's state in different environments and observed the reactions of the people around them, which seemed like a good experience for Yi Ding.

In the following ten years, the family traveled all over the motherland, even going abroad. Yiding constantly learns social rules in the real natural environment, feels the humanistic customs, and grows in sight and smell, while his personality is becoming more and more cheerful.

"The process of independent travel, from near to far, is not only the measurement of physical distance, but also the gradual growth of knowledge and insight, and the accumulation of growth." Yiding's mother said that don't always put autistic children at home for protection, as long as there are conditions, take more children out for a walk.

Travel is the first step in the integration of children with autism into society. Taiyuan Huiling's teacher said that some autistic children are not so willing to travel, and can be guided by setting destinations that interest them, and constantly learning the rules.

Love and dedication are undoubtedly the "secrets" for "one ding" to travel independently. Social integration not only requires the efforts of autistic groups to integrate, but society should also support it with practical actions.

According to Yiding's mother, although Yiding can do many things independently after training, he has also encountered some problems in social aspects, and he is eager for the acceptance of his peers, but communication is often difficult to communicate with the same frequency. Once, when Yi Ding asked a few friends to watch a movie, he went to the movie theater early, prepared a drink and waited, but his companion did not appear. Yi Ding was therefore very sad and painful.

Yiding's mother is distressed about her son, and she wants to be treated kindly by her child, but she can't ask for anything from others.

In fact, there are at least more than 10 million autistic people in China today, which is not a problem for a single mother, and The teacher of Taiyuan Huiling said that the society should have more understanding, support and tolerance. Without the time and energy to help, at least not to blame and repel.

In 2016, after taking her children on a trip to the Horqin grasslands, Yiding's mother looked at the photos taken along the way and wrote a poem:

"Boy, let's go!" Child, go, after turning around, it may be poetry and far away. The endless road must be persevering, no matter the sunrise or sunset, on the road, it is a hope.

Child, go, behind is the persistence of mom and dad, don't look back, face the place where the sun rises, to find the source of the dream.

Go, child, youth belongs to you. In the vast fields, you have stepped out of the strong notes. Heaven and earth merge, we are no longer alone! ”

Responsible Editor: Fang Fengjiao Editor-in-Chief: Wang Xiaohui