Since ancient times, Chinese parents have had the educational concept of "raising sons poorly and raising rich daughters", and they believe that the education methods of boys and girls should be different according to the physical and psychological characteristics of boys and girls. Parents believe that boys have an open-minded personality and no moderation, and should take more care of their children, give their children less money, and buy all kinds of expensive things for their daughters to meet all the needs of their children.
In fact, in the process of educating children, for boys and girls, different educational methods are indeed needed, but many parents have misunderstood the true connotation of the phrase "poor sons and rich daughters". So what kind of parenting can be called "rich support"? How can we grasp the degree of "rich nourishment"?
The true meaning of "poor" raising boys
As a parent, you must be clear that now that your son suffers, he will become a "rich" person and become a real man when he grows up! For every boy, whether it is growth or maturity, it needs to be self-reliant, need to take on more responsibilities, need to face greater difficulties, and need unremitting self-struggle, it can be said that the growth and maturity of successful men is a process of constantly challenging themselves to struggle hard. So, as a parent, you need to do:
One. Let the boys experience frustration
Our parents are people who have lived a hard life, they have suffered and been tired, so they want their children to suffer as much as they want, and they always want to give the best to their children. But how can you see a rainbow without wind and rain? Don't let the child do anything, everything is arranged for the child, so how can the child grow?
Therefore, in the process of children's growth, let the child experience frustration, let the child complete the task independently, let the child experience it again and again, try it, and he will get more. And that sense of accomplishment of success at a time is the driving force for him to move forward, and it is also the direction of his efforts.
Two. Let the boys live independently
Now many boys, from childhood, have been pampered by their parents, will not do anything, have a cowardly personality, timidity, and have been labeled as "ma bao male", "female cannon", "no responsibility". Boys have always been synonymous with strength, bravery, responsibility and responsibility, and if you want to cultivate these qualities of children, you must let children have the ability to live independently, let children exercise more, improve their abilities in all aspects, and increase personal charm.
Three. Boys are more optimistic and loving
An optimistic attitude and kind love are essential qualities for a mature and excellent man. Therefore, parents should guide their children through different ways and methods, wipe away the dirt of their children's hearts, eliminate the selfishness in their children's hearts, and let their children grow into an optimistic, cheerful, kind and sincere person.
Every parent loves his son, but there is a distinction between "small love" and "big love". The practice of blindly pampering the son is "small love"; and the practice of raising a son "poorly" is the real "big love". Only under this kind of education can boys grow into healthy, happy, excellent and outstanding men.
The true meaning of "rich" raising girls
The main true meaning of a girl's wealth is to cultivate her temperament from an early age, broaden her horizons, increase her ability to read the world, and enhance her insight. "Rich" girls, because they are knowledgeable, independent, assertive, and wise, know very well what they want and what is really worth pursuing.
When she reaches the age of flowers, she is not easily seduced by the prosperity and vanity of all kinds of floating worlds. The most important qualities for a girl to cultivate are, first of all, empathy, a good character, able to control her emotions, and grateful to those who have helped her.
One. Loving and nurturing, not coddling and nurturing
The second "rich connotation" of girls' healthy growth is love, which is the love that comes from their parents. But, parent friends? I would like to ask you: Did you choose the right way to love? Let's start by testing our "degree of love" with such a small story.
The story of doting: The daughter and the neighbor's children got into a conflict, and a mother said to her daughter: "The hateful ×× blame him, which hurts my baby and never plays with him again." ”
The story of love: The daughter and the neighbor's children got into a conflict, and a mother said to her daughter: "Let's forgive ××, he shared his toy with you the other day!" ”
What is true "love"? What is overdone "love" - coddling? The same thing happened to you, how did you deal with it?
I think that at this time, every parent has their own answer in their hearts - if you don't want to cultivate a squeamish, unreasonable, or even commanding "little princess", you should put an end to "coddling".
Two. Encourage nurturing rather than modest nurturing
Because the psychological characteristics of girls are more timid and shy, so in the process of educating girls, parents must educate their children more, encourage children, and let children have the confidence and courage to express themselves. As the saying goes: confident women are the most beautiful. The personality charm of girls is reflected in the aspects of generosity, self-confidence and elegance. Therefore, for girls, parents must encourage their children more, so that children are brave, confident and optimistic.
Three. Temperance is nurtured rather than indulgent
Spending the money you should spend, such as reading, learning knowledge, learning courses that interest you, arming your mind, can not save her a single point. Don't spend money that shouldn't be spent, it's about pursuing brand-name luxuries, chasing unnecessary waste, and chasing things that don't belong to your own hard work. Even if her parents have the ability to give these things to her, they can't give them, because these things will harm her.
Of course, parents can encourage their daughters to pursue better materials, but all this should be obtained through their own hard work, rather than reaching out to their parents.
A well-known radio station hong Kong host Leung Ji-cheung wrote a letter to the child well:
When you grow up, my responsibility for providing for you is over, and you will be responsible for whether you will take the bus or Benz (Brunsle), eat shark fin or fan.
Yes, before the daughter reaches adulthood, parents should do their best to make her spiritually rich, love her well, teach her the knowledge of being a human being and the three views, and provide her with reading, but materially, only give her an ordinary life, let her keep clean and tidy. As for whether she can live a good life and enjoy good material things in the future, it all lies in her, not her parents.
Children are like kites flying in the sky, and what parents can control is the line of kites. If you want your child to fly high without losing your way, parents must always firmly control that line.
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Editor of the First Educational Content Team