It is said that "there is an old family, if there is a treasure", for young people, especially office workers, there are old people around to take care of it, it will indeed feel much easier. But for the old man himself, what is the harvest?
Aunt Li is 61 years old and has been staying at her son's house since she retired six years ago. Of course, she did not go to the blessings, but had a very difficult task, taking care of her two grandchildren.
Aunt Li is a university teacher, and after reaching retirement age, the school wanted to rehire her. But in the same year, the daughter-in-law gave birth to the eldest, watching the two young people have to go to work and take care of the grandson, Aunt Li could not bear it, so she agreed to her son's request, refused the re-employment of the school, and came to her son's house to concentrate on taking the baby.
The daughter-in-law's maternity leave is only a few months, so the daughter-in-law is already out to work before the child is half a year old. Many times there are only two people left in the family, she and her grandson, and from 5:30 a.m., Aunt Li begins her busy day.
In order to allow her daughter-in-law to sleep well at night and not affect the work of day 2, Aunt Li slept with her baby every night after her daughter-in-law went to work. If the baby wants to drink milk in the middle of the night, she will hold the baby in front of her daughter-in-law and wait for the baby to drink the milk and then hold it back.
Such a toss, Aunt Li did not rest well at night. However, early in the morning of the second day, she had to go out to buy vegetables while the baby was not awake, and when she returned, she made breakfast for her son and daughter-in-law.
After the son and daughter-in-law all went to work, Aunt Li had to take the baby up to eat together, and then play with the baby, there was no moment of rest in the middle, after all, the baby was too small to be separated from people.
At about 10 o'clock, Aunt Li had to hurry to make lunch again, because her son and daughter-in-law had to come back for lunch at noon. Of course, before that, she also had to put the baby to sleep, otherwise she could only put the baby in the cradle, put the cradle in the kitchen door, and play with the baby while cooking.
In the afternoon, the baby will usually sleep for a while, but Aunt Li has to take advantage of this time to be busy with housework and cleaning, and there is no time to nap. Because often when she is busy, the baby wakes up.
Immediately after that, Aunt Li wanted to take the baby to play and prepare dinner. At night, after the son and daughter-in-law left work, either they had to work overtime at home, or they were so tired that they lay in bed, and the pots and pans had to be cleaned up by Aunt Li.
After that, Aunt Li wants to coax the baby to sleep, and if the baby does not sleep for a long time, she will continue to play with the baby. Until more than 10 o'clock in the evening, after the baby fell asleep, she could have a little time of her own, but at that time, Aunt Li did not have the energy to do other things, and she was already drowsy.
After staying up for nearly three years, it was hard to wait for the baby to go to kindergarten, and when Aunt Li felt that she could relax a little, her daughter-in-law became pregnant and gave birth to a second child.
So the previous life was repeated again, the only difference was that before Aunt Li only needed to take care of a child, now she also had to take the second treasure to pick up the big treasure from school, and became busier.
If you are willing to pay for your grandson, then the attitude of your daughter-in-law makes Aunt Li completely heartbroken. The daughter-in-law not only does not understand feelings at all, but also always picks and chooses Aunt Li, not that she did not bring the child well, just said that her meals are not suitable, and she always has to find some trouble every day to be willing.
After living with her daughter-in-law for many years, Aunt Li finally understood these two points. Her summary has also resonated with countless people:
Keep a bowl of porridge away from your children
We often say that distance produces beauty, and this phrase actually applies to many relationships, as do the elderly and children. If conditions permit, the elderly and children try not to live under the same roof, after all, there will be a gap between the two sides in various aspects such as ideological concepts and living habits, but it is easy to cause contradictions.
Children can go home to visit the elderly on weekends or holidays, and the elderly can also lend a helping hand when their children need help. But even if you help your children with your children, you can also leave early and return late, or give your children to your children on weekends, and the lives of the two sides should not overlap as much as possible.
Don't give unconditionally
As the saying goes, a bucket of rice raises a benefactor, a stone of rice raises an enemy, although the old man loves the child, but should not give everything for the child unconditionally. For example, taking their own time and energy, attaching their retirement salary, and pouring their minds on their children and grandchildren will instead cultivate white-eyed wolves.
The elderly should have their own life and space, and should have the conditions to pay, so that the children can know the importance of the elderly, in order to understand the difficulty of the elderly, so as to give the necessary respect to the elderly.