Intensive reading mother: A good family never lies in how rich it is, but in whether the parents have become the self they wanted to be when they were young, whether the parents have the heart to accompany their children and raise their children, and whether the parents have grown up together.
Author: Slash Girl ing (Parents Intensive Reading Author)
At present, there is such a strange phenomenon: some parents never read, but want their children to read well; parents never learn, but hope that their children will become a phoenix.
Parents who have a job come back from work, either lying on the sofa to brush videos to watch mobile phones, or play mahjong, but they demand that their children have good grades, be polite, be excellent, and be able to win glory for themselves.
The scariest thing about education is that a group of parents who never learn are desperately trying to make their children learn.
Being a good example is the closest hero
Two days ago, my cousin, who was in the second year of junior high school, suddenly dropped out of school, asked him why, and only said: "Sister, I can't read anymore, it's so uncomfortable to stay in school." ”
I was somewhat surprised by this answer. For my cousin, the school district room, the parents accompanying, the car picks up and delivers, what to have, as long as you study well, it is enough, how can you suddenly say that you can't read it.
That night, he talked to me a lot, and the most heard words were: "My parents won't let me..."
"I can't get into high school and want to go to a technical school, my parents will definitely not let me, because I have no face."
"When I went home and played with my phone, my parents wouldn't let me, but they were still lying on the couch playing vibrato and posting videos."
"I want to buy an extracurricular book, my mother said that as long as you learn the classroom knowledge, it is enough, what extracurricular books to read, the textbook has not been memorized."
At the age of 14, it should be the age of fantasy about the future, and all that remains of my mind is "my parents won't let me."
The cousin said that every time he came home, there were many people in the family, and it was the neighbors who came to play at home, because my parents had a good personality.
I never thought it was a flaw until my cousin said to me, "I felt like I could do whatever I wanted since I was a kid watching my parents touch anyone." ”
As soon as the second year of junior high school started, I met some seniors of the third grade, and followed them to skip class and skip school, and life was fun, and those things were things that my cousin had never experienced before.
Seeing his parents send vibrato fast hands every day, his cousin also began to play vibrato, and those seniors took cool videos, lonely backs with pop music, and then saw the gradual rise of fans and likes, he felt that this life was very good.
But why to the parents that is nothing, obviously the parents have done everything.
Is there something wrong with socializing? Is there something wrong with tapping TikTok?
Obviously, my parents did not study, so why did a person who did not study urge me to study behind me?
I think this is the truest thought in my cousin's heart, and this is the norm in a lot of education.
It is said that the child is a copy of the parents, and the parents do what the children learn.
A parent who tells his child that reading is important, and his daily entertainment is brushing videos and playing mahjong, cannot convince his children.
The writer Leo Tolstoy said: "All education, or nine hundred and ninety-nine thousandths of education, comes down to example, to the integrity and perfection of the parents' own lives." ”
Education is never about parents raising themselves and then demanding of their children.
Only when parents set a good example can children learn from them.
Companionship with the heart is the simplest happiness
I remember seeing such a news when the epidemic just came.
In a small mountain village in Luoning, Henan, because of the epidemic, children can only take online classes at home, Yingying is also a second-year student, because there is no network at home, Yingying has to go to the village branch secretary every night to rub the network to learn.
On a cold night, a street lamp, a desk, the girl sat in the yard bent over to study.
The girl's father crouched in the corner of the wall, silently accompanying his daughter.
The village secretary said that the girl's grades were very good, but the family conditions were not good, her mother was not in good health, her father became the only labor force in the family, and there was a younger brother and a younger sister below.
But the girl never said bitter, and when it was time for online lessons, her father would take her to rub the net. Even if there are no online lessons, girls will come to study for two hours.
Perhaps, for the girl, what really supports her to learn in the cold wind is her father who crouches in the corner of the wall and silently accompanies her, and perhaps her parents cannot give her a good family situation and good learning conditions, but they can accompany her to study together.
Let her know that even if my parents are poor, they must let me study hard.
Compared with now, many parents send their children to the care class, and the children's learning is handed over to the care teacher, and they only need to come to pick them up on time.
What do you see in your child's eyes?
My parents never studied, but forced me to study in the custody class; my parents would only pick me up and tell me they would work with me.
Careful companionship can give children the greatest sense of security.
Because they know that behind them are you, not the alarm clock on time.
A good friend said his parents would never force him to study. He didn't have good English since he was a child, and his father began to teach himself English, and every day two people painfully memorized words together, and over time, he also felt that English was not so difficult.
As soon as the holidays came, his parents would take him to travel everywhere and feel the customs and customs of various places.
If you can't accompany him on a business trip, you will leave him a message, let him write down the problems he encountered and paste them on the refrigerator, and come back to answer them one by one.
High-quality companionship does not lie in whether parents have close companionship, but whether parents have intentions.
In the back and forth accompanied by the heart, education is also silently carried out.
Growing together is the most successful education
One of the things I've always wanted to accomplish the most was playing chess to win over my dad.
When I was a child, my father taught me many ways to play chess, go, table tennis, games....
Chess has always persisted, because so far I have won very little against my father.
I still remember that not long ago, I worked hard to learn to kill and won a game of chess from my father, and my father praised me in the group: "I can't believe that this is a chess piece played by a small cotton jacket, it seems that I have to work hard." ”
The next night, it was time to play chess again, and my father urged me to hurry up and get online, and he also learned new moves.
Sure enough, the familiar opening cannon, but down to the back, I found that my father began to take the lead, such as the first few steps out of the car, put on the river cruise line to suppress my attack.
In the past, my father always played chess at a glance, and he had to be interlocked, and he really didn't need to abandon his son, so he would let me pick up a sweet head and eat it.
The game was very aggressive, the offense was full of flavor, and I also played with the spirit of twelve points, although the result was obvious.
But because of this, I will practice and learn tricks more hard, and I am basically one of the best in the same office.
I believe that my father's chess skills are not bad among his peers.
So you come and go, and we force each other to grow.
Not only that, but even my younger brother, who has never been interested in playing chess, has joined our battle, my brother's goal is me, my goal is my father, and my mother is shouting and cheering next to me, and summarizing the comments in passing.
The whole family entered a period of chess fever.
Playing chess is a very exquisite thing, and through the competition with my father's chess skills, I have exercised my logic ability and overall planning ability more.
In life, I often substitute roles and arrange things like chess, I have to shoot first, then get out of the car, and finally assist with two horses.
The attack and defense should not be less, and the chess strength of the two sides should be equal.
This subtle effect, even before we were aware of it, forced me and my father to make progress together.
It is said that when talking about love and picking objects, we must also find someone who can grow up together, how can we not get to the child?
Successful education is to be able to grow up with children, and in the process of children's growth, parents have become better selves.
Education is a practice
It's the first time to be a parent, if you don't know how to do it, then do yourself first, and your child will keep up with your footsteps and slowly move forward.
After many parents have children, although they are full of energy on their children, they are useless, just like my aunt and uncle at the beginning, they bought a school district house, how to pick up and send the car, and the child still can't see the efforts of their parents.
Because children do not get positive energy, over time they will lack upward motivation.
What the child really wants to see is the one who shines and can make them worship.
Seeing parents study hard, seeing parents broaden their horizons, and seeing parents improve their skills, children will also want to replicate their parents' success.
A good family never lies in how rich you are, but in whether your parents have become the self they want to be when they are young, whether their parents have the heart to accompany their children and raise their children, and whether their parents have grown up together.
Education is a long practice, so that parents become better parents, children can become better children.
About the author: Slash girl ing, parents intensive reading columnist, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, unauthorized, may not be reproduced, infringement will be investigated
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