01
I have a friend, Lao Li, who does outdoor parent-child tours, so he can always listen to some interesting family stories.
In a three-day and two-night outdoor camping family trip, he found a very interesting phenomenon, when other children still need their mothers to take care of the whole process, an 8-year-old boy can already take care of his mother, the little boy is called Lele, and he is also busy helping other children.
Old Li was very curious about how the boy's parents had been groomed.
In the later chat, Lele's mother said her own tips: it was a timely show of weakness.
Once Lele's mother went to pick up Lele from school immediately after work, and after a busy day at home, she was very tired, so she lay on the sofa and took a break, she said to the child: "Lele, mother is so tired, can you help your mother pour a cup of water?" ”
Le Le obediently poured a glass of water for his mother, and her mother immediately praised him: "Le Le is awesome!" You can also take care of your mother, you are the man in the family! The child was very happy to hear this, and also told his mother to rest well first.
Lele's mother looked in her eyes, and in later life, she often said, "Lele, can you help your mother wipe the table?" "Lele, Mommy is a little busy, can you help me?" "Where's the little man?" Mom needs your help! ”
In this way, Lele is becoming more and more diligent, and he knows more and more about taking care of his mother, although he is only 8 years old, he can wash his own clothes, mop the floor, serve rice, pour water, and carry garbage... And learning is getting better and better!
Because children who live diligently are bound to be diligent in their studies.
Don't think that the child is small, in fact, the child is very powerful, if you can mobilize the child's enthusiasm, give him more opportunities, then his performance and growth must surprise you, and you can also be relaxed and happy.
02
The above is the story of the mother who raises a diligent child by showing weakness, and the following parent's method is definitely more bizarre - boastful (please note that the "strange" here is a positive word).
He is from our community, slightly fat, approachable, happy every day, see who is smiling, I call him Brother Liu. Brother Liu's mantra is: "I can easily do what, how!" ”
I've always wondered why he had such a habit.
I didn't know the truth until later when I asked about this, and it turned out that it was all for the sake of children! His child's name is Haohao.
If he had taken the time to make a big meal, he would have boasted in front of the child, "Haohao, come and try Daddy's craft!" "The child and the father have a good relationship, in addition, "eat people's mouths are short", the child naturally has to praise and praise, "Dad, you are awesome, so delicious!" ”
"That is, Dad easily made you a shocking meal..." Then he began to talk about how he made it, what dishes he used, what spices he used, how to control the heat, and so on.
Usually, he cleaned up, did the housework, fixed the toys, told a story, completed a project in the company, and he would say, "I can easily..."
Not only him, but also his wife, all kinds of labor in life are their boastful capital, and in front of their children, they are good fathers and mothers who love their families, love life, and love work.
They often boast about the fruits of their labor in this way, and the children are also envious and want to boast! Therefore, the child becomes diligent and active in learning unconsciously.
Once his child scored well on the test, the first in the class, when he came back, he saw his mother at the door of the community, so he took out the paper and boasted, "Mom, you see, I easily took the first place!" "That posture, that tone, and other parents of the breath must have wanted to pat him in their hearts."
I listened to his methods very much, and I am positive and optimistic about everything in life, but when I do things, I am serious and a little lazy.
In the long run, children not only develop an optimistic and good attitude, but also fall in love with labor and love life! An optimistic, diligent child, how poor can his learning be?
Life is not easy, no one's life is easy.
Therefore, many parents are always tired and complaining in front of their children, complaining about the exhaustion of the day at work, complaining about how tired it is to do housework for washing and cooking, complaining about the recent business is not going well...
The more tired the time, the more I hope that the child will be diligent and sensible, and the more I hope that the child will study well and grow up and have a good time; but can the child really be diligent and diligent in such a situation?
03
Recently, a distant cousin complained to me: she said that her children were too lazy! She and her family didn't know what to do!
How lazy is the child?
Basically, I don't do anything but play, I never wash my dirty clothes, I don't help serve rice when I make a good meal, I never sweep the ground at home, I love to watch cartoons and play games....... I was lazy to study, and the exams basically counted down.
At this point, the child sometimes added to the chaos, and his cousin did not scold him less, and sometimes beat him up. I really hate the appearance of iron not steel.
What to do, this is a lazy bear child at home!
Later, she led the child over, and in the process of single chat, I found that the child was not lazy at all, and was "taught" lazy by the parents.
The child said: "I just don't want to do it, I don't want to learn, I wash clothes, she always thinks I can't wash it, I clean she thinks I'm rough, once I helped to serve rice accidentally beat the bowl, they scolded me together!" Then I won't do anything, don't they just want me to study well? I'm not a good student! ”
No one is born with anything to do, and they all have to experience a lot of failures!
You think about how many failures a child has experienced when he learns to climb, learns to walk, and learns to eat on his own!
We always learn things through trial and error... This is a normal learning process.
As for some parents, as soon as their children fail and make mistakes, they will crack down on ridicule and do everything themselves in order to save trouble.
When the school started, the discussion in the parent group was very warm, and they were ready to choose what kind of school bag, what stationery they needed, and even what kind of notebook and pencil knife had a guide to choose the strategy, and the parents were busy and happy.
The preparation is not only complete, but also very meticulous and thoughtful. In the words of parents, "Children don't understand good or bad, they buy the wrong thing?" ”
But is this really good?
This not only deprives children of good opportunities to participate and learn, but also seriously undermines children's enthusiasm and confidence.
"Package" is that parents dig more pits and set more obstacles for the growth of their children in the name of love, which is the most common reason for children's laziness; if you want your children to be diligent and diligent, first stop the package and let the children "do their own things!" "Don't let it go!
A lazy child who learns, then he must be lazy in life!
If a child who can be diligent in life, how poor can his learning be?
"Diligence can make up for clumsiness, heaven rewards diligence", if you want your children to live diligently and study diligently, try the above method!