This article is reprinted with permission from The Parents Research Institute (ID:mama_cn)
Author: Fuqin
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn) original debut
Recently, a parent complained that there are third-grade boys in the family who have been addicted to Ultraman cards and mini-world games.
When his parents didn't let him play, he would not listen to the lectures in class and draw game diagrams. Parents found many similar game pictures in their children's school bags.
Seeing that he was so "lost in playthings", parents were worried that their children were about to be ruined, so they went online for help, and in order to prove how addicted the children were, they also uploaded a game picture drawn by the children.
But seeing this game picture, many netizens have said that they "can't bear to blame this child." The comment that received the highest praise even said: I was greatly moved when I saw the picture of the child.
Because this is not a simple painting, but a very complete position composition, belonging to a branch of the military model, specializing in battlefield models.
Subsequently, netizens also disassembled the child's composition in detail.
These include forward positions, infantry positions, aircraft, missiles, ammunition depots, missile platoons, rear row positions, atomic bombs, and even horses ready to flee after defeat.
The child draws very carefully, gives full play to the imagination, is thoughtful and thoughtful, which shows the degree of his love.
Netizens can't help but sigh: the growth of the little boy is really a hard injury. What they like and care for is different from what their parents ask for.
"I can only do my best to respect, understand and appreciate my children's paintings. Because to understand him is to understand myself.
I still miss the ten-year-old boy in my heart, who is still sleeping on the most primitive pure land in my heart. ”
Every child may have his obsessive interests or dreams in mind, but more parents want their children to spend their minds on learning.
Many parents try their best to prevent and stifle their children's "improper work", but the children insist indomitably, "The wildfires burn endlessly, and the spring wind blows again."
Or some children are forced to give in, but leave eternal regret or pain in their hearts.
01
We often think that it is a waste of time to develop hobbies and hobbies, and we would rather sacrifice our children's interests and dreams for the sake of schooling. But a life without interests and dreams is tedious and pathetic.
When you deprive your child of his hobbies and interests and ask him to study wholeheartedly and wholeheartedly, there may be more evil consequences.
Chang, a junior high school student in Xi'an, Shaanxi Province, began to have symptoms of knee pain after being criticized by the teacher for his learning problems 4 months ago.
At first, Chang thought it was too tired to take a break. But as time went on, my hind legs hurt so much that I couldn't walk.
The parents took their son to the orthopedic department of the hospital for a series of examinations, but the cause was not found, and the doctor suggested going to the psychiatric department for examination.
When I first went to the psychiatric department, Chang classmates couldn't even walk the road, and it was my father who carried him into the ward.
After the doctor took psychological suggestive therapy plus a small dose of antidepressant drugs, on the third day, Chang was able to walk on the ground.
Doctors say it's a psychological symptom that trunks, and many children will have this condition.
Because teachers and parents are pressing step by step, the child's learning pressure is too great, the emotions will be out of control, the psychological pressure is too large, and over time it will affect the health of the body.
Parents think that their children can improve their academic performance by seizing all the time to study, but this often backfires.
At the cost of physical and mental health, it also affected learning, and it was really the loss of the wife and the folding of the army.
Recently, some netizens said that their ten-year-old son was depressed by himself.
Around the Spring Festival this year, no less than three times said that "there is no point in living". I took liver-relieving antidepressants and repeatedly saw a psychologist.
Parents began to reflect and found that they usually laughed at, rejected, scolded, and ignored their children, but forgot to pay attention to the child's heart.
What the child wants to do, the parents do not allow, the child can not do. Because of the strength of the parents, the children can only hold back.
Over time, it is strange that the child is not depressed.
Professor Xu Kaiwen of the Psychological Counseling Center of Peking University took the lead in proposing the term "hollow heart disease". Now, more and more young people are developing "hollow heart disease".
Children have no hobbies to relieve learning pressure, release emotions, regulate boring learning life, and have no dreams to support the future.
Although the problem is manifested in children, the root cause lies in adults.
The so-called adolescent depression and hollow heart disease are often children who are sick for their parents.
Many parents are overly grade-oriented in their education, as are schools and families. Children are trapped in boring learning, day after day.
They lack sports and friends, do not have time to develop hobbies, and learn without looking at a glance, so that they cannot feel the beauty of the real world.
They live according to their parents' expectations, have no choice of their own, and lose their vision of the future.
A single score goal that leaves them wondering what it means to be alive? When values collapse, children fall into confusion.
02
Yang Zhenning said that the secret of success lies in interest.
Developing hobbies and interests is a waste of learning time on the surface, but interest is the best teacher, and it may become a powerful driving force for children's learning.
Recently, an 8-year-old boy in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province, was obsessed with aerospace and taught himself to study rockets.
Five years ago, Mr. Zhang once took his son to see a rocket launch, and since then he has been out of control.
Because he likes spaceflight, he gradually likes astronomy, physics, military and chemistry, and learns himself by consulting related books and watching videos.
And there was a desire: I wanted to study rockets, and I wanted to enter the space agency.
Being "abused" by his son's science knowledge is the daily life of his father as an art student.
Hegel said: A deep and broad mind always extends the field of interest to countless things.
Because of their interest in spaceflight, 8-year-old boys are not afraid of difficulties and teach themselves related science knowledge, which is a strong driving force brought by interest.
The support of his parents made him more undistracted.
Recently, a video of a "hand-drawn Chinese herbal map" has become popular on the Internet.
A father in Luzhou City, Sichuan Province, looked for the reason after his son's poor grades and accidentally found a hand-drawn map of Chinese herbal medicine from his son's bag.
There are not only hand-drawn images of various herbs, but also words explaining their efficacy.
He just took a shot and didn't expect to attract widespread attention.
It was also praised by netizens as a "modern version of the grass compendium", and the child is a "good seedling of Chinese medicine", and the future can be expected.
This 13-year-old child, when he heard the name of the Chinese herbal medicine casually spoken by his grandmother, went to search for it and drew it himself.
But for my father, who was painting for a living, his heart was mixed.
My father himself liked to draw, and he made a living drawing business. Because he went to work after graduating from junior high school and suffered from no education, he has always refused to teach his son to draw, hoping that his son will focus on his studies.
Ben did not want his son to suffer like himself, but his son fell in love with painting and Chinese medicine under the wrong yin and yang.
In the face of his child's love, he said: his son's hobbies will go with the flow, but at the same time he will still urge him to study well.
Japanese educator Hisaichi Kimura said: Genius is a strong interest and tenacious obsession.
Because of the strong interest, the child will consciously delve into it, and may even become a lifelong pursuit of the career.
If parents are properly guided, interest can become a driving force for learning and promote learning.
03
Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky said that the world of children cannot be turned into simply learning knowledge.
If we seek to focus the child's entire mental strength on his homework, his life will become unbearable.
He should not only be a student, but above all a person with many interests, requirements, and aspirations.
Children's interests and academics are not contradictory, the key lies in how parents guide children to balance the relationship between academics and interests.
1. Respect your child's interests and dreams
Some time ago, the "daughter wants to be a cleaner, and the father textbook replied" that rushed to Weibo's hot search, causing netizens to praise angrily.
The daughter wants to be a cleaner, and the father does not rush to deny and oppose like the average parent, and does not say that "the cleaner is bitter and tired, the status is low, and the study is not good to become a cleaner".
Instead, children are encouraged to develop the hard-working qualities needed by cleaners and to work hard to exercise the specialties needed for their dreams.
No matter how big or small the dream, it deserves respect.
Parents should not make decisions for their children, respect their children's interests and hobbies, and let their children believe that they are valuable people.
2. Cultivate hobbies that can be adhered to for a long time
Actor Cai Shaofen once said that children must have their own interest in learning things, and if they still don't like it after ten classes, they can give up.
In the process of chasing interests and dreams, children are allowed to trial and error.
For example, if a little girl wants to be a cleaner, she can let the child try it. If she finds that it doesn't work in the process of trying, she can give up her dream of changing to another one.
After trial and error, encourage your child to choose at least one hobby to stick to for a long time.
Once chosen, don't give up easily, let the child develop the quality of persistence, and develop a hobby that will benefit you for life.
Long-term adherence to hobbies should be less and fine, when more energy is invested in a certain hobby, in general, the level will exceed most people, and children will gain great self-confidence.
3. Make rules and allocate time reasonably
Parents should discuss and formulate rules with their children, allocate time reasonably, and urge their children to follow the rules.
Teach children to learn time management and balance the relationship between academics and interests. Develop hobbies and interests and invest time and energy reasonably.
Learning is the mainstay, supplemented by interests.
In this way, hobbies and interests not only do not affect learning, but also promote learning.
For example, when learning to be tired, going to exercise can relax the body and help improve learning efficiency.
When learning is stressful, singing, playing the piano, etc. can relieve tension and improve happiness index.
"Those who know are not as good as those who are good, and those who are good are not as good as those who are happy", which is easy to find and rare in interest.
The love of protecting children, may the heart of the naked child never be extinguished, and may every child find his love.
-END-
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn), research on new knowledge of family education for 1-6 years old, is the mother's educational notes, is the father's baby guide, is the child's growth energy station. Please contact the Parents Institute for reproduction.
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