Our encounter is a grain of dust in the sea of people, but a grain of dust refracts the sun is the most dazzling, I hope you can tell me your story, and I will listen to your voice as the best listener, hello everyone, here is "Bar Emotional Station", I am lever ~
There is a saying that "I can't bear to let the child not set the wolf", careful tasting, quite scary, for a wolf even the child has to give up, this price is too high.
But in fact, this saying is due to the pronunciation of the word and the problem of false transmission, the original sentence should be "can't put on the wolf without shoes." Interesting, right?
In fact, whether it is to give up children or shoes, it is said that people need to pay a certain price in order to achieve a certain purpose.
If you are not willing to invest, you will never want to have a big gain.
The same goes for feelings. People who only know how to take, who don't know how to give, or who are preoccupied with gains and losses, will never have a good ending. In fact, this is also a matter of a person's vision and pattern.
I remember that two years ago, a male returnee and a female white-collar worker went on a blind date. Out of respect for women, returnees let girls choose restaurants at will, and dishes are ordered by girls, without saving him money.
The woman ordered ten shrimp sashimi, each 298 yuan, and also ordered high-end ingredients such as elephant mussels and bird's nest, a total of 4879 yuan. As a result, the returnee looked at the dishes ordered by the girl, chatted for two sentences, got up before the meal was finished, and left, and blacked out the woman. Reluctantly, the female white-collar worker paid for the meal herself.
Afterwards, the returnee gave the girl 2,000 yuan. However, the girl did not rely on it, and had to bear the entire cost of the returnee, and after being rejected by the returnee, the girl found an introducer. Because it was the "strange returnees" introduced to her by the introducer, she wanted to sell the food she packed back to the introducer to recover her losses.
The upbringing and nature of female white-collar workers are exposed, and the narrowness of vision and pattern is generally visible.
Blind date is the temptation and understanding of two people's first acquaintance, each person is fighting for their own personality and cultivation, and it is not impossible to properly test each other. Those who show selfishness, cut the door at the first meeting, and prevent others from taking advantage of themselves at every turn will always leave the impression of not wanting to see each other a second time in the first meeting, how can the relationship between the two be further enhanced?
Nor is this a mistake that only ordinary people make. I remember the first meeting between Singularity and Andy when watching "Ode to Joy", Singularity was full of guard against Andy.
Supposedly, the singularity is the executive, the successful person. In order to test Andy, on the first date, he came by subway, afraid that this was his protection for himself, and it was also a temptation for Andy. Even though he later fell deeply in love with Andy, his selfishness became a fatal wound in his own love.
The behavior of female white-collar workers and singularities is actually the embodiment of the poor's thinking in marriage and love.
People with poor thinking have one of the biggest characteristics: that is, they hope that there will be an immediate return on their efforts, and they will never do anything that cannot be returned immediately. When the opportunity arises, the poor thinking people first consider its risks, not the benefits, which is what the folk often say: "Don't see the rabbit and don't throw the eagle."
But the emotional thing is not fast, dating, eating and watching movies, in ordinary life to understand each other, always inevitably cost money, people with poor thinking in the interaction is always cutting the rope, afraid that their own advantage is taken up by others.
Wang Bin (pseudonym) remembered the blind date that ended half a year ago, and his heart was full of remorse, it was his own slamming and stinginess.
regret
A possible marriage.
Now that I think about it, that girl is really atmospheric, very sincere, but herself, her psychology is a little darker, and her vision is terriblely narrow.
One weekend half a year ago, Wang Bin met a female classmate from his college in Shucheng. Standing with the female classmates is a young girl who looks very capable and charming.
Every weekend, Wang Bin likes to go around the book city to see if there are any good books that are discounted. For Wang Bin, there are only discounted books, no discounted knowledge. Despite the popularity of e-books now, Wang Bin still likes to collect and flip through very classic paper books.
It just so happened that his female classmate was also good at this, and sometimes he could meet him at the book city on weekends. In this meeting, Wang Bin took the initiative to invite the two beautiful women to drink coffee, and the three of them chatted for a long time.
This girl is a colleague of the female classmate, three or four years younger than Wang Bin, but when she talks about the day, she does not have the sense of alienation of the three-year-old generation gap that everyone says, and the conversation is very speculative.
Wang Bin did not expect that this coffee appointment would allow him to marry the charming girl.
After a week, the female classmate called Wang Bin to match him and his colleague Qiaoqiao (pseudonym).
Wang Bin agreed, he did have a good feeling for the girl. It's just that the female students do not have too deep understanding of Qiaoqiao, but that Qiaoqiao is not a local, usually in the unit is a very simple girl, work very seriously, like to read, other, female students are really not very clear.
On the day of the date, they still chose to go to a café near Book City. Before going, Wang Bin was fine. The consumption of the café is not high, and one or two hundred yuan is not a pain in the flesh for Wang Bin.
Wang Bin, who is nearly 30 years old, through his own efforts, can be regarded as a middle-level manager with deep seniority in the company, and his salary is relatively high. But because of the influence of growing up family, Wang Bin has always been relatively economical, the money that should be spent will be saved after careful calculation, and the money that should not be spent will not be spent.
It's just that the cost of coffee and light meals that day, coincidentally paid first, Wang Bin did not resign at that time, in his opinion, someone paid the bill, and he was happy to save money.
Later, I saw it a few times, and the frequency of payment was basically equal, and there was no question of who spent more and who spent less.
During the chat, Wang Bin knew that Qiao Qiao was a very diligent girl. According to Qiaoqiao himself, he was busy with his work during the day and busy with his own affairs at night. The salary is not high, earn some extra money to supplement it, hope that in the future, your life will be better, you have to work harder when you are young.
Wang Bin admires this kind of girl, independent and capable, with momentum, in case she really becomes a family in the future, the family burden will not be borne by herself.
The two did not salty and indifferent to each other for more than a month, the relationship did not grow by leaps and bounds, Wang Bin felt that Qiaoqiao seemed to have some concerns about him, he could not tell whether he was not good enough, he wanted to ask clearly in person, did not want to spend too much time in this regard, OK, no, each looking for someone suitable for himself.
Qiao Qiao agreed to meet and said that he would go to the hotel and wait for him to come.
When Wang Bin arrived at the door of the agreed restaurant, he was shocked, here is a very famous private restaurant in the city, it is said that the dishes are very delicious, of course, the consumption is also very expensive, and some dishes are said to be hundreds.
Entering the box, Wang Bin saw that Qiao Qiao had arrived, and the dishes had been ordered, and the table was full, Wang Bin felt that he had some breathing difficulties, but he still restrained a little, smiled at Qiao Qiao, and sat down.
Because he was worried about his wallet, Wang Bin ate like a needle felt. Later, he really couldn't stand it, he excused himself out of the box, asked the waiter about the cost of eating, and when he heard that this meal cost about 4500 yuan, Wang Bin's heart hurt.
He re-entered the box, looked at Qiao Qiao and smiled sweetly, but he himself was sweating, he hesitated, he still opened his mouth: "This meal, let's AA!" ”
Listening to his words, Qiaoqiao's smile became even stronger, and she said, "Yes." I just wanted to try to see if the food here tasted as good as the legend goes, and since you're willing to share half of the cost for me, why wouldn't I be happy? ”
Qiao Qiao continued: "Don't you mean to ask me why our relationship is standing still? I think I might be two types of people with you. As for me, as long as it is a good thing, I will investigate it clearly and devote myself wholeheartedly; but you are different, you will be very cautious, you pay attention to reciprocity, you cannot devote yourself to a thing wholeheartedly and without pay, and you are also calculating. In fact, today, I wanted to invite you to dinner, but you offered AA, which made me more sure of this. I know that your income is high, and my income is not as good as yours, but the side business I am engaged in is much higher than the income of the main business. What I need is someone who can go crazy with me for my dreams. You're fine, but I don't need to. ”
After Wang Bin listened, he looked regretful. He knew that he had missed a good girl because of his own problems.
In marriage and love, in fact, there are risks and opportunities coexisting, and it may meet people like the previous female white-collar workers, and may also meet people like Qiaoqiao who work hard silently, which tests the vision and pattern of men, and he needs to have the vision to seize the opportunity and the courage to resist risks.
Man's poverty, if it is poor in the bones, he will be stuck in his own ways, because of the calculation of gains and losses and will not be brave to move forward, only at ease with the calculation and frugality of small places, the vision and pattern are naturally narrow, his body will not hide an interesting soul, living with such a person, every day will fall into a lot of trivial calculations, so that marriage will add branches.
Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, when looking for their other half, they must be quite cautious, not attracted by the brilliance of each other's appearance, but pay more attention to the wealth and poverty of the other party's spiritual world. If the other party has a poor mentality, even if you like it and love it deeply, you must try to stay away. Women, in particular, can marry men who are materially poor, and must not marry men who are spiritually poor.
Good times are always short, thank you for reading this, I hope the story between us will continue, the bar is ready to listen here, is your story ready?