"I am for your own good", parents often say this to their children, which is actually a different kind of emotional violence

I believe that many parents will repeatedly say the same thing to their children: I am all for your own good. Indeed, as a parent, we all hope that our children can be better, so even if we sacrifice some things, as long as we can exchange for better children, parents are also willing.

However, the words spoken by parents will put a lot of pressure on the child, and it can also be described as an emotional violence, in the name of love to put pressure on the child.

Li Li is such a parent, whenever she has a conflict with her child, she will say to her child in a serious way that I am doing this for your own good, although you do not appreciate me now, you will definitely thank me in the future. But whenever he said this, the child would show a very impatient expression.

Finally one day the child broke out and kept saying that you are good for me, you are good for me, but it makes me so uncomfortable, I am not happy at all, I don't want you to be so good to me.

The child's words made Li Li suddenly reflect on herself, she was good for the child, but in the end she made the child uncomfortable. So when parents say this, it is an emotional violence.

The impact of parents saying such things on their children

1. Fill your child with guilt

There are many parents who often say to their children: I do all this for you, I just hope you can be happy, as long as you can be happy, let me do anything.

When parents say this, they actually understand that their children may not be particularly happy at the moment, but parents may not comfort their children when they say such things, but they will feel that because they are not happy, parents are also unhappy because they are unhappy.

Then this will make the child feel a deep sense of guilt. Children may think that it is because of themselves that they are making their parents unhappy.

2. Let the child be morally kidnapped

The parent's sentence that I am all for your own good is to put the parents on the moral high ground. And children just enjoy the good of their parents, but they don't know how to cherish it. This is actually a kind of emotional violence, so that children think that they do not cherish the good of their parents, but also blame their parents.

This is also a kind of moral kidnapping, parents use it to kidnap children, and these words will also deeply affect the child, affect the child's future development, affect the child's words and deeds.

3. It will make the child feel unhappy

When a person is in a long-term emotional violence moral kidnapping, then he is absolutely unhappy. Because no matter what he does, there is always an invisible rope that binds him. Restrict his every move, so that he can not do himself well, in the long run, the child's personality may become more and more withdrawn, which is not conducive to the child's physical and mental development.

4. Let the child feel a lot of pressure

When parents think that they are for the good of their children, they can sacrifice everything for their children, which invisibly also gives the child a lot of pressure, and the child may think that he is everything for the parents, and this may be the case.

But the child will feel a big burden, on his body, is a lot of pressure, and this pressure may stop him from moving forward.

What parents should pay attention to when educating

1. Reject black powder education

In the process of educating their children, parents must pay attention to taking good care of their children's self-esteem, and reject black powder education, the so-called black powder is education, that is, they think that their children have nothing to do well, and none of their children are worth encouraging.

Under such an education method, children may become more and more inferior, think that they are useless, and their relationship with parents will become more and more distant. Therefore, in the process of a child's education, it is very important to accompany, encourage and be objective.

2. Take care of your child's self-confidence

In fact, every child is very confident at the beginning, because they have not reached a lot of people, and they may think that they are the best. But often parents are the first to destroy their children's self-confidence. Comparing children with each other is the favorite thing many parents do.

But the result of this comparison is that parents can only see the shortcomings of their children in their eyes, and eventually they will conclude that their children are not as good as other children.'

In this way, the child may become less and less confident, and because of the parent's words, he may make himself more inferior.

3. Reject poison-style education

This education is the exact opposite of black powder, and this education is equivalent to killing children, because in the hearts of such parents, other children are inferior to their own children, and their children can never make mistakes.

The children cultivated by such parents are arrogant, and may cultivate an indispensable character, thinking that they are the boss of the world and do not have a sound world view and outlook on life. Such an education is certainly not advisable.

Summary

Communication between parents and children is very necessary, and effective communication methods can make a child more confident and healthy. But parents should pay attention to wording when communicating, pay attention to ways and methods, and do not let their kindness to their children turn into emotional violence. I hope that parents can maintain enough patience when communicating with their children, and hope that their children will have a better tomorrow.

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