Children are the hearts and livers of parents, parents' love and dedication to their children are selfless, and parents have not thought about how to repay themselves.
But legally and morally, when their parents are old and incapable of working, it is natural for children to support their parents on the mainland.
However, over the years, more and more families have driven the elderly out of the house because of their children's filial piety, and it is common for the elderly to live in the cowshed firewood room, so that many middle-aged people who are about to enter their old age begin to worry about whether they will be old and have nothing to rely on.
Li Da Niang has been working in the establishment before retirement, and the salary taken during the work period is actually not high, but after retirement, various social benefits and pensions are very impressive, at least even if she does not rely on her daughter, Li Da Niang can also spend her old age with peace of mind.
But after Li Daniang's old house was demolished, her daughter suggested buying a new house in the city, and the family lived together or had a care, after all, she went back to her hometown to build a house, and there was no one around to take care of, the daughter was not at ease, she would also miss her daughter.
So in order to satisfy her daughter's filial piety, even if she did not want to live in the city, she finally compromised and bought a house near her daughter's community.
Now that three or four years have passed, Li Daniang's savings have basically been hollowed out, and even her pension and demolition funds have been slowly hollowed out by her daughter and son-in-law, making her feel very helpless, but helpless.
After all, I am such a daughter, moving over to live near my daughter in the past few years, but also because of the company of my daughter and grandson, I have made myself who has no wife for a long time happy, even if I pay more for my daughter, what is this?
But slowly, Mrs. Li was overwhelmed, and as soon as the holidays came, her daughter took her two grandchildren to the house to rub rice, and did not help, and when it came to work hours, she threw her two grandchildren to her, so that she did not even have any free time now.
In fact, such an incident of Li Da Niang is indeed not uncommon in real life, and it may be that Li Da Niang is very happy now in the eyes of outsiders, even if she only gave birth to a daughter, but the daughter still took her to her side, and she can enjoy the joy of heaven in her old age.
However, how painful this kind of life is, only Li Da Niang alone knows, and Li Da Niang's daughter's practice is also called invisible nibbling on the old man, which looks filial piety, but in fact, it is to prepare for hollowing out the old man's family foundation.
So what is the typical performance of invisible nibbling on the old?
1. Always go to the old man's home to rub rice to eat
The elderly may be lonely when they live alone, and they will miss their children and grandchildren, and even take the initiative to invite them to go home and live for a while, but after a long time, young people will develop a habit of coming directly empty-handed, waiting for the elderly to make a meal, and then waiting to eat one by one with a rice bowl.
This practice is a typical invisible nibbling of the elderly, in the eyes of outsiders how happy this old man is, after all, people can still have children and grandchildren around the knee in old age, which is one of the happiest things in this life.
However, the pressure on the elderly is also very large, in addition to the food to be done to meet everyone's appetite, but also to paste money and energy, and even sometimes because the rice is not delicious, resulting in a good word has not been heard, but also to be blamed.
2. Let the elderly take the children for free
With the improvement of people's living standards, one person working is not enough to support a family, so many times, the elderly will take the initiative to help their children with children.
However, not every child knows how to be grateful, and many times it may be because of a little difference in parenting concepts, resulting in quarrels, scolding the elderly, and even blaming the elderly for bringing bad things after the child has a cold and fever, which is typically thankless.
In addition, nowadays, many young people let the elderly take children, at the beginning will promise the elderly will give living expenses, but after a long time, these promises will also drift away with the wind, the elderly help to take the children to lose their freedom, but also to paste money, is simply an upside-down nanny.
It can be said that the above two are the most typical invisible nibbling on the old in the current society, and the real thing happens around us, so as a new generation of parents, how should we avoid children from becoming invisible nibbling on the old?
1. Don't always think about controlling your child
I don't know when to start, the desire to control can actually be used in the body of parents, many parents will in the name of loving their children, the implementation of children, whether it is learning or life, to the children to point fingers, hope that children follow their own steps to go, always fantasize about controlling children.
Doing so is not good for the child at all, but it will make the child more dependent on the parents, and there is no opinion, which will directly affect the child's life.
Even if the child already has a family, he is still accustomed to having the consent of his parents for everything, so even if his parents are old, they will continue to rely on their parents.
Therefore, don't always think about controlling the child, let the child follow their own pace, more often we should let the child boldly try, so that the child has the ability to deal with things independently, so that it is the best help for the child.
2. Guide your child to be a grateful person
As we said above, many times the elderly with children are required by the elderly themselves, because the elderly want to reduce the burden on their children, and they have nothing to do, so they will ask for help for their children to take care of their children.
In fact, this kind of thing that you love and I wish, as an outsider, we have no way to judge it, but at least you have to let your child be a person who knows how to be grateful, and know how to be grateful for the efforts of parents, so that you will not blindly take and do not know the return.
Of course, having a grateful heart is to be cultivated from an early age, so parents should teach their children from an early age to be grateful for everything around them, and not always feel that they deserve what they get, so that children naturally do not ignore the parents' efforts.
Xin Mama's message:
From the moment the child is born, the parents are responsible for the child's life, and the child's future temperament and personality quality are all brought out by the parents step by step.
It can be seen that educating children is not a simple thing, not to say empty words, casually read a few parenting books can educate children into talents, but to continue to explore, continue to move forward, guide children to a brighter future.
If the child only knows how to nibble on the old, and only knows to enjoy the old man's efforts for granted, then the child is raised in vain, I don't know if there are such invisible people around you who chew on the old?