Parents educate children in different ways, some parents like speech education, to the child to reason, some parents like stick education, when the child is not obedient to hit twice, but not all parents can really understand the meaning of stick education, some parents for stick education is unreasonable, the child as a venting tool, not clear and red to beat the child, the purpose is to relieve their own anger, this kind of educational concept is wrong.
There is a movie in Japan "Mediocre", Sugita lives with his mother, he has a father who gambles well, his father owes a huge amount of usury, he also goes home from time to time to find trouble with his wife and children, often beats Him, verbally insults him, his mother can't stand this life, he left Sumita, he can only bear his father's beating and the violent debt collection of the underworld, the father clearly expressed his regret for giving birth to Sumita, the father's words became the last straw that crushed the camel, abandoned by his relatives, collected by the underworld, Being beaten made him lose all hope in life, and collapsing, he finally embarked on a road of no return, and he aimed the knife at his father, ending his father's life.
After watching this movie, the heart can not be calmed down for a long time, Sumita's heart is dark, he can't find his own hope, in fact, he also longs for love, this kind of scolding behavior of his parents will leave him with a lifetime of psychological shadows, affecting his life, maybe he can't get out of it for a lifetime.
What effect does a parent's scolding have on a child?
Children who are "never beaten" and "often beaten" will live two lives after 20 years.
First, children are prone to a flattering personality
Colleague Xiao Zhou suffers from a slight flattering personality, others ask her to help and never refuse, once in a chat, I learned the source of her flattering personality.
Zhou father and mother are ordinary workers, the two especially hope that the only daughter can become a talent, when she was a child, Xiao Zhou, as long as the exam was not good, the father came back to her is a fist and foot combination, the mother let the eight-year-old she learn to cook, she did not do well, the mother began to insult her, in order not to let the father beat herself, the mother scolded herself, Xiao Zhou began to please her parents, she studied until two o'clock in the middle of the night, got up at six o'clock in the morning to make breakfast for the family, even if she did this, she did not get the praise of her parents.
After a long time, Xiao Zhou began to unconsciously please everyone, which became her habit, and later the teacher found that Xiao Zhou had a certain degree of flattering personality, and the parents still ignored her, thinking that the child's learning was the most important.
It wasn't until she graduated from that family that Xiao Zhou had the money to go to the hospital, and now her flattering personality is better, but it is difficult to eradicate it.
Parents beat children, children are afraid in their hearts, in order not to let parents beat and insult themselves, children may please their parents, by pleasing their parents to make parents like themselves, become the parents' puppets, such children are prone to a flattering personality, do not understand the rejection of others, will live very tired.
Second, the parent-child relationship is easy to sword and sword
Parents often beat children easy to make the parent-child relationship become tense, adolescent children are very sensitive, sometimes the parents' beating and abuse will only arouse their rebellious psychology, they may start to beat their parents back, insult their parents, forming a sword-rattling parent-child relationship.
Some parents often beat their children, and the relationship between the children and their parents after they become a family is still cold, unwilling to go home to visit their parents, and the parents regret that it is too late.
Third, children are prone to inferiority complex
Children who are often beaten by their parents are prone to inferiority complex, they feel that they are very bad, otherwise their parents will not beat themselves, such a psychological state makes them become afraid of their hands and feet, dare not interact with others, dare not do something, they are very inferior, and some children may also have autism.
Fourth, children will inherit the violence of their parents
"Children are the shadow of their parents, parents are role models for their children"
Parents are the child's first teacher, children will learn some of the parents' behavior, if the parents become violent, the child may learn the parents' violent behavior, grow up to implement domestic violence on their own family, many domestic violence men are affected by their parents.
Parents are very important to the child's education, a little careless, may ruin the child, so parents should use scientific methods to educate children,
What is your child's favorite toy? Barbie, Ultraman? No, the child's favorite and most needed toy is the companionship of parents, they need to feel the love of their parents, to accompany their children more, after all, companionship is the longest confession of affection.
Accompanying children to adulthood is a sacred duty of parents, parents must correctly educate their children and cultivate their children, so that it is the true love of parents, so that they can also cultivate better children.