A few days ago, I saw netizens on the Internet sharing such a story:
This year, Aunt Lu is 68 years old, because her former wife died suddenly, and her body is not too tough, so her son wants to take Aunt Lu to the family to take care of her.
Aunt Lu did not think much about this, in her opinion, "raising children and preventing the elderly" is natural, not to mention the marriage room where her son was originally married, she and her wife spent most of their lives savings to buy, so living in her son's home is "righteous".
However, only half a year later, Aunt Lu and her daughter-in-law were like water and fire, and could no longer live in her son's home.
It turned out that Aunt Lu was very uncomfortable in her son's home, in her opinion, the daughter-in-law has always regarded herself as an outsider, although she is polite on the surface, but often appears impatient with her, especially on the issue of taking children, there are countless contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
No matter how Aunt Lu takes care of her grandchildren, it will always cause the dissatisfaction of the daughter-in-law, either the clothes are thick, or the things are eaten too much, in Aunt Lu's view, she has not raised children, much richer than the daughter-in-law's "experience", how do you not know that there are so many exquisite?
On the issue of children's learning, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are even more "needle-point to Mai Mang".
Aunt Lu thinks that the daughter-in-law is too demanding and too strict with the child, but the daughter-in-law feels that Aunt Lu is too doting on the child, and whenever the daughter-in-law trains the child, she inevitably has to quarrel with Aunt Lu, and finally not only the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not happy and dispersed, the child is also frightened and trembling.
Finally, after another conflict broke out with her daughter-in-law, Aunt Lu really couldn't stand it, despite her son's persuasion, and returned to her hometown in a huff, this time she made up her mind, she would rather work hard at home alone than go to her son's house to "get angry".
There are many problems in the "three generations in the same house", and it is difficult to coordinate different parenting concepts
In the eyes of many elderly people, "raising children and preventing the elderly" is a matter of course, and if you can "share the same house for three generations" and enjoy the happiness of the world, it is a rare blessing.
However, similar to what happened to Aunt Lu, the elderly and their children living together can easily lead to various contradictions, especially the different parenting concepts between each other, both sides have their own positions, even if it is some small things, it will be infinitely magnified.
When educating children, the concepts of the two generations are completely different, many times the elderly feel that it is okay, but the young parents feel that it is not OK, the old people care about things, the young parents do not matter, so when the elderly use "experience talk" to try to overwhelm the young parents, it often leads to greater contradictions.
The reason for this situation has a lot to do with the difference in the environment in which they grow up, young parents live in a completely different era from the elderly, the two have a completely different worldview, values, and it is precisely because of this that the elderly's parenting concept will be more traditional, more believe in their own experience in the past few decades.
In the hearts of young parents, "scientific parenting" is more trustworthy than the so-called "experience", and there will be higher requirements in the care and education of children, and it is easy to cause conflicts with the elderly.
If the elderly and their children live separately, the problem will often be much less, once three generations live under the same roof, it is inevitable that they will blindly have different concepts of parenting from generation to generation, and accumulate countless contradictions.
How to solve the problem of different concepts of parenting in different generations?
1. Try to maintain a harmonious relationship with the elderly
A warm and harmonious family environment is crucial to the growth of children.
When young parents get along with the elderly, they must try to maintain a harmonious relationship, especially do not say bad things about the elderly in front of the children, and do some malicious guidance, otherwise only the children will be hurt.
2. Demonstrate correct parenting methods to the elderly
Teaching by example is more important than words, and it is much better to demonstrate the correct parenting methods than to simply reason with the elderly.
Many times, although the elderly are verbally opposed, after seeing the benefits of the right method, they will inadvertently reflect and change, and gradually reach an agreement with their children.
3. Be grateful to the elderly
Although there are great differences in parenting concepts between the elderly and young parents, the latter still needs to be grateful to the elderly and understand each other's contributions to the family, which is very helpful for maintaining a good relationship with each other and accommodating the differences in parenting concepts.
4. There are contradictions to be dealt with privately
When a conflict occurs, be sure to pay attention to dealing with it privately and not destroying each other's image in the child's mind.
For this reason, young parents and the elderly can agree with each other that in front of the child, one party's discipline will be the mainstay, and the other party will not intervene, and then do further processing in private.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
Everyone's growth trajectory is different, parents and children want to get along well is not easy, especially when living under the same roof, getting along well is a relative, not getting along well will become an "enemy".
In the face of the differences between the concepts of parenting in different generations, young parents must know how to respect and be grateful, and the elderly must also be able to tolerate and understand, only when both sides work together can they truly educate their children well.
Today's topic: Have you encountered the trouble of different concepts of education in different generations?
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