Author/Window Sill
Everyone lives in the world and has their own privacy.
Since it is privacy, it is necessary to try to ensure that the fewer people know the better, because these privacys, if spoken out, may affect other people's attitudes and opinions about you.
No matter how good your relationship with others is, when interacting, some measures must be paid attention to, people's hearts are separated from the belly, and many times others should not say the words in your face, you will not know at all, usually look good with you, what kind of mind is hidden.
To see a person clearly, sometimes it is not only time, but also a test on a specific occasion.
Naturally, when two people form a family, the family unit also has its own privacy, some things that belong to two people should be solved behind closed doors, and there are some secrets about the family, two people know it, there is no need to go around saying, talk too much, you hurt your own face, after all, at this time, whether it is good or bad, you two are one existence.
The biggest misfortune of a family is not to be poor, but to tell relatives about the privacy of the 3 in the family.
Relatives, more intimate than friends, in the consciousness of most people, more intimate relationships, especially between brothers and sisters, it is easier to pour out their hearts. But no matter how good your relationship was when you were young, once you are married, you must pay attention to some things to say, some things you can't say, don't be unscrupulous, and sometimes you don't know that you have said the wrong thing.
01. The actual deposit of two people
Money at home is always a particularly sensitive topic, and anything, once it comes to money and interests, may trigger some conflicts that you never thought of.
Between husband and wife, between siblings, and even between parents and children, conflicts caused by money are not a minority.
So, economic issues are the one place you need to pay the most attention to, don't go around saying it, even if you are related. If you have a lot of savings, you think that the other party is as happy as you, in fact, not necessarily, most people subconsciously have a more psychological, some people with good character can reasonably control this mentality and transform it into the motivation to work hard.
But some people with a bad mentality may be quietly jealous or even slander you behind your back, which is not impossible.
Moreover, if you say the deposits of two people to the outside, you will not encounter some relatives who are looking for you to borrow money, and when the time comes, you will not borrow for fear of hurting and getting angry, and if you borrow, you will not be able to get it back, and you will be embarrassed, but it is better to avoid it from the beginning.
If you have very little savings, if you say this in front of your relatives, it may affect other people's attitudes and opinions about you, which is an instinct of human nature. As the old saying goes, the rich have distant relatives in the mountains, and the poor have no one to ask in the downtown. There is a heartfelt fact: your economic ability, that is, to a certain extent, will determine the attitude of relatives to you, you are more economically better, others are more likely to respect you, if you are not financially good, others may look down on you. Between relatives, it is often easier to do so.
This is an evolution of the instinctive worship of the strong, as well as the neglect of the weak.
Regardless of your actual economic ability, just understand it yourself, don't show off your wealth in front of your relatives, don't always call it poor, too much showing off your wealth will not get the respect of others, improve your own status, call poor no one will take the initiative to help you. Either way, talking too much has a negative impact. Live your own life well, not humble or profane, and live a happy life in actual life, which is really good.
02. Some details of the quarrel
If the two of you quarrel, it's your own business. In fact, sometimes it may not be a big deal at all, there is absolutely no quarrel between husband and wife, after a few days of quarreling, it will be fine, do not take it out to relatives, and even go to tell some details of the quarrel.
Because at this time, your relatives will definitely stand on your side and speak, and most of them can play a role in adding fuel to the fire at this time.
Moreover, this kind of behavior of taking out the details of the husband and wife quarrel to tell is itself a practice of breaking the sense of distance, and may unconsciously change the attitude towards you over time in others, and become particularly casual in front of you.
Because of this process, you are also showing your weakness.
Between people, sometimes there should be a certain sense of mystery. This sense of mystery, to a certain extent, determines the degree of respect that others have for you, you talk too much, you are like a transparent person in others, and the mentality of contempt for you may be completely subconscious.
The same is true between relatives.
Of course, no one will show it, but it will quietly change the attitude toward you in the heart, and then it will be unconsciously manifested in action. At that point, if you want to save it, it may be difficult.
03. A lot of shortcomings of the other party
This is especially taboo.
Because in life, I found that many people especially like to go out and complain when two people encounter contradictions, and when they complain, they all talk about each other's shortcomings, basically saying the same.
Especially women, really like to say these things to their own sisters, at that time may be out of anger, regardless of the words said, after saying that everyone comforted, the mood feels better.
It is normal for people to live in this world and have a desire to talk, especially for those they believe in.
But remember: don't often complain about the shortcomings of your other half in front of your relatives, unless you don't plan to live at all.
Because you forgot a very key thing: at this time you are still husband and wife, his face is also your face, in fact, you see others look down on him, you may still protect each other. But you find that the people who look down on him are precisely your relatives.
I've seen examples like this. An aunt I know, she often said in front of her two sisters that her husband was not good, and then it led to a situation: her two sisters, who had a particularly big opinion of her husband, did not even speak respectfully enough.
As a result, this aunt has an opinion, she thinks: This is a person in my family, I can have an opinion, but if outsiders say what he says, then I am definitely still uncomfortable.
But in fact, in the final analysis, this phenomenon is caused by some of her own words and deeds.
The so-called home and everything is happy, but the premise of home and peace, first of all, is to do something well. If everyone can manage themselves, the result will definitely be good.
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