1.
Tonight with Dabao to fight magnetic tablets, Dabao has been letting me help assemble, can't stand the child's pleading, so help Dabao spell a group, to coax the second treasure, Dabao accidentally put the magnetic piece down, I let the baby dad help, Dabao is very resistant to reassembly, unwilling to do it himself, have to help the mother. So the child's father was simple and rude, directly dismantled the magnetic piece and threw it in the box, Dabao kept crying, rolling on the sofa, no matter how much grandma and dad encouraged, she was unwilling to re-spell it again, and kept crying as long as the mother, and asked the father to restore the magnetic piece to the original assembly.
I reassured Dabao and told her that she could re-spell, but Dabao was unwilling, and Grandma Dabao said: You must use your brain to think, and your brain does not have to rust. Dabao couldn't listen to it either.
In fact, my heart was broken at that time, Erbao wanted to sleep, and wow wow screamed. Baby dad was annoyed, so he opened the computer to work, and Dabao disobeyed his grandmother and cried for his mother to accompany him.
Looking at a chicken feather, I just want to say: the sky will not directly fall down a child with strong initiative and self-awareness!
To be honest, Dabao has many advantages, but the shortcomings presented will directly affect future learning and development: lack of concentration, low desire to actively explore.
2.
But who caused this?
I think the whole family is responsible.
First of all, first review myself, as the mother of the child, in order to express my love for the child, I bought too many toys for Dabao, which seems to love the child, but in fact, it distracts the child's attention.
Second, As the first baby of the whole family, Dabao has received too much attention and interference. I remember when Dabao was still lying in the stroller, the family kept calling her name, and she didn't have a quiet time to play by herself.
Third, Grandma always chased after the food and chased after the cold and warm. When the child plays with the toy, the grandmother is thirsty and hungry, and when the child watches TV, the grandmother is afraid that the rice is cold, so she serves the meal and develops the bad habit of eating while watching TV.
fourth. There are too many people watching mobile phones at home, grandma likes to watch vibrato, dad likes to watch videos, mom uses mobile phones to do self-media, so children have a sample, and their interest in mobile phones is greater than that of toys.
fifth. Very importantly, the adults said too many "no" words to Dabao! Deprive the child of the desire to actively explore.
For example, going downstairs to play with sand and soil, playing with water and snow, climbing high and low, or even eating and dressing yourself, are not allowed. Because my child's father and I are at work, the child's father is busier, mainly the mother and grandmother, so it is more delicate, the child wants to play with water and sand, play with mud, play with flour and snow, and most of the instructions received are rejected.
Too many "no" and "can't" block the child's desire to explore and curb the child's curiosity and creativity.
Sun Ruixue's "Love and Freedom" said: The discipline of life is order, the order of intelligence is concentration, and the discipline of behavior is obedience. With enough kindness and tolerance, children can figure out the laws of things on their own and then obey the rules.
3.
Think carefully and determine the direction of your efforts
After reflecting so much, guilt and self-blame can not solve the fundamental problem, the child is not yet four years old, I believe that as long as the whole family works together, the child will be able to get rid of bad habits, take the initiative to learn and explore.
The first thing to do is to break the toy. Take advantage of the New Year's time to throw away those toys that lack arms and legs. Leaving only puzzles, building blocks, magnetic tablets and other educational toys, constantly expanding the genre and developing children's space imagination and creativity.
Secondly, play with the child, slowly let go, and guide the child to take the initiative to create.
Third, give the child the space to play with the toy quietly, do not always ask for warmth to disturb the child, so that the child has a sense of self-creation.
Fourth, reduce electronic noise, specifically refers to mobile phones, tv time continues to decrease, until home "de-mobile phone".
Fifth, let the father play with more, increase the child's scientific thinking, the mother says less "no" word, let Dabao make his own decisions, reduce preaching, and lead by example.
Sixth, the pit stepped on in education can not make mistakes in the second treasure, protect the child's concentration and desire to explore, and do not limit the child's development by gender, and even the love of color.
Seventh, a very important point, take time to accompany Dabao to outdoor sports every day, it is best to cultivate a long-term development of sports, increase the child's resilience and resilience. Such as table tennis, badminton, swimming, etc.
Finally, I would like to say that the most important thing in raising children is to teach by example. Say less "why" and ask more "what to do". Say less "don't do" and more say "try it". Don't compare your own children with other children, let your children learn to compare with yourself, because children who always stare at other people's lives will not be happy, and focusing on their own growth is more important than anything.