Author┃ Cai Xia Full of Heaven Reading Aloud / Blue Feather
Guidance ┃Liang Shanbo Editor ┃丄學号
1
Recently, I saw a video, and my heart was full of mixed feelings.
Landmark: In Changzhou, Jiangsu Province, a 15-year-old girl beat her mother on the street because she did not buy a mobile phone.
The video shows the girl out of control, seemingly irrational, yelling in the street in full view of everyone. While crying and pushing, he repeatedly hit his mother on the head, and sat on the ground and cried, which was jaw-dropping.
A group of do-gooders watched the hilarity, filmed videos, and talked about it, the girl always stressed the need to go fast, but the mother let the crowd watch.
Finally, under the mediation of the police, the mother bought the girl a mobile phone.
The incident spread wildly on the Internet, and netizens accused the girl of not understanding gratitude.
After watching this video, of course, I feel that the girl is too much.
Respecting the elderly and loving the young is an excellent tradition of our Chinese nation, not to mention our own mother, how can we be so lawless?
As a daughter, no matter how grandiose the reasons, hitting her own mother is not worthy of being forgiven.
People often say: It is better to hear than to see. However, behind the short video we saw with our own eyes, it covered up the truth of the facts, and the mother's education method was wrong!
The key question of contradiction is not whether to buy a mobile phone, but whether the mother's behavior is really inappropriate.
This matter has made the whole country know, please ask, how big is the girl's psychological shadow area?!
From the video, I saw the girl's despair, helplessness and collapse, and also exposed the cruel truth of this mother's parenting style!
2
This mother's empathy is too poor.
The girl, in the speculation and strange eyes of the crowd outside, was greatly stimulated and frantically beat her mother.
The mother, who had promised to buy a mobile phone, sat in an electric car, expressionless and motionless.
The girl's mother refused to ride a bicycle, allowing passers-by to watch in public and humiliate her, so that her daughter would be ugly in public and play herself as a proper victim.
As a mother, I don't put myself in the shoes of my child in the slightest. Not only does he not care about the child's situation, but instead poses as a victim and imposes all the fault on the child.
When the girl beat her mother, she hysterically shouted "Can't go? Can't walk? Can't walk? ......”
We can feel from the shouting: the reason for the girl's collapse is not a problem of money at all, nor is it a problem of mobile phones.
In this way, let the child be ugly in public, and let her behave in the future? Can you educate your children behind closed doors? Can you respect your child?
The mother seems to be silent and innocent and in a weak position, but in fact, she is the perpetrator of the violence, deliberately humiliating the child and causing harm to the young body and mind.
In this case, the normal action is to quickly leave the place of right and wrong, calm the storm as soon as possible, and protect your children. Instead of coldly watching the melon-eating masses pointing fingers at their daughters, but they are indifferent, and finally make things bigger!
The whole network is blaming the girl, everyone can carry out internet violence at will, and her mother is not responsible?!
It was a merciless killing of the child's heart and spirit, and she deliberately used the public opinion of passers-by to whip her own child. Proper moral kidnapping, personally sending children to the commanding heights of moral judgment, is really abominable!
Why would a mother let a 15-year-old daughter bear an undeserved burden?
3
The mother was unconvinced.
Tracing back to the roots, all this was caused by the mother's unbelief and broken promises.
As a parent, either do not easily agree to the child; or do what you say, and you must do what you say and do what you do.
Everyone knows the story of Zengzi killing pigs, doesn't this mother know?!
Some parents use various reasons to prevaricate when they fulfill their promises. There are more such things, children naturally no longer trust parents, and the prestige of parents will be weakened.
This 15-year-old girl is different from other children of the same age, and the mobile phone is bought by her parents regardless of the price.
Her phone is broken and she wants to buy a new one. After consulting with my mother, I saved 4,000 yuan from my own work, and the remaining 2,000 yuan needed my mother's sponsorship, and my mother agreed.
Who knew that when she arrived at the mobile phone store, her mother called her uncle. Just a sentence from my uncle that "mobile phone repair can still be used" has made me regret it.
If you have agreed, why should you repent? Since you have repented, why don't you leave?!
Onlookers blamed their daughters without knowing it.
She shouted for her mother to go, but her mother did not move. The girl lost control of her emotions, and after beating her mother, she sat on the ground and cried bitterly.
Looking at the whole incident, to this point, is the mother not responsible? She imposed all her fault on the child!
Embarrassing the child in public, this mother's education method does not dare to agree, is it only the child's face that is lost?!
Such parents are rebellious and repulsive. Do you still have to be so clever in dealing with your own children, pretending to be a victim and beating a rake?
What is even more frightening is that the negative impact of this matter is very large. When something like this happens, there may never be a sense of trust between mother and daughter again.
In fact, children are born to trust their parents, but trust also needs to be exchanged.
In the process of children's growth, some wrong actions of parents reduce or even disappear the child's sense of trust.
A child who grows up in an honest environment will also have the quality of integrity.
A simple promise, for adults, may just be a casual remark. But for children, that commitment is important.
The writer Jiang Fangzhou said in "Round Table Pie": The proportion of the adult world is not the same as the proportion of the child world. In between, there is a cognitive dissonance. Adults think it's okay, but children think this is his whole world.
4
There is no perfect person in the world, and parents are also parents for the first time, and they will definitely make mistakes.
Everyone wants to be trusted, and children especially want to be trusted by their parents, and trust is the connection channel between parents and children.
The best education is that parents can feel their children's feelings, so that children get a consistent sense of trust.
Qualified parents should let their children, no matter what kind of difficulties and troubles they encounter, they can not be afraid because they have a sense of security. At the very least, parents should not be the source of their children's secondary harm.
If a child can clearly know that he is deeply trusted, he will feel safe and more confident in himself.
Qualified parents are on the road of their children's growth, giving enough sunshine and rain and providing a harbor of love.
If you want to maintain a good parent-child relationship, remember that "relationship is greater than education, relationship precedes education".
I can't help but think of a very hot sentence: the thought of parents not having to go through the exam makes me think it's terrible.
Driving a car requires a driver's license, teachers need a teacher's license, doctors need a doctor's license...
As children's first teachers, parents go to work without any training or assessment to educate their children for a lifetime.
The result?
A survey shows that three-quarters of parents in the mainland have inappropriate or serious deviations in their parent education methods, and only one-quarter of parents have more scientific family education methods.
Current homeschooling, doting, indulgent, harsh, and so on. Either it is lenient or it is lost in strictness. Some parents even think that the education of their children does not need to be learned at all, and it can be done without a teacher.
Xu Hongling, a member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, suggested that parents hold a certificate of conformity as early as 2 years ago.
In order to improve the education level of parents and improve the quality of family education, a primary school in Hangzhou took the lead in allowing parents to "hold a certificate to work".
May the practice of parents "holding a certificate to work" be implemented throughout the country as soon as possible, and may every child have a warm childhood!
5
The reason why this incident has spread all over the Internet and the melon-eating masses have the effect of fueling the waves is that this phenomenon deserves deep consideration by each of us.
The child was not happy before buying a mobile phone, and when he met such a mother, he was obviously wronged, and he was also watched and blamed by passers-by, and his self-esteem was hurt.
The behavior of the melon-eating masses to take the video for the first time is very hateful, what is the mentality of these people? Without the slightest consideration for other people's privacy, isn't it too big to watch the hilarity?!
Whether it is an adult or a child, the collapse is often instantaneous. Without understanding the truth of the matter, they turned the contradiction between mother and daughter into an escalating public event!
Remember: seeing is not necessarily believing, and hearing can be false.
Appreciation belongs to the author
Author┃ Rainbow Is Full of Heaven
Rainbow full of sky, teacher. He likes to record his life with words, and many articles are scattered on online platforms and print publications.
Reader┃Blue Feather
Lan Yu, from Shihezi, Xinjiang, is a middle school teacher, a science and technology innovation counselor, who loves reading and writing, and is a creator of educational parenting literature. Willing to warm the world with words, I hope that every child can be treated with tenderness. Looking forward to meeting more peers, learning from each other, and growing together.
Shanbo Education Guidance ┃ Liang Shanbo
Liang Shanbo, a first-class teacher, an advanced educator in Shenzhen, the first batch of family education instructors in Bao'an District, the first learning star in Bao'an District, and the editor-in-chief of Shanbo Education Public Account. Engaged in education for 38 years, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of parenting.