Text: Blue Dream
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The famous writer Hemingway once said: "It took us two years to learn to speak, but it took sixty years to learn to shut up."
The patriarchs told us that "evil comes out of the mouth."
These famous quotes all illustrate a truth, that is, silence is golden.
This is deeply true. Many times, we are often eager to express our own ideas, and fail to take into account each other's feelings, resulting in the relationship between the two people getting farther and farther apart. If you can stay a little silent and learn to listen to other people's ideas, you may be able to save a relationship.
The so-called Fifty Knowing destiny. When people reach the age of fifty, they have accumulated more life experience and social experience. When getting along with younger generations or younger than yourself, you will involuntarily open your mouth to "guide". When the other party does not listen to their own opinions, and blindly goes in the "wrong" direction, the elderly will be more anxious, so the strength of "guidance" intensifies.
Such an initial intention is good, but others may not realize it. Moreover, making mistakes is not necessarily a wrong thing for young people, and in most cases they have enough time and energy to make up for them.
The problem is that not all old people understand this. Even if you understand, some old people will hinder the young people from being their own children, etc., and blindly adopt a preachy way, and as a result, the children's mistakes are not less committed, and the relationship between the two is not good.
So smart people will shut up about these three things after the age of fifty.
1. The future of children
After fifty years of age, most of their children have grown up and are faced with finding a job or falling in love. Relatively speaking, these two things are still relatively important for young people.
There are too many young people who have a particularly poor last life because they did not work well when they were young; there are also some young people who rush to get married because they are unladylike and do not see the true face of the object of love, and finally live a miserable life.
As a parent who does not want to see their child live such a life in the future, and wants to teach him some of his own experience, his mood is OK. But be appropriate, not too mediocre, otherwise it will most likely cause the other party to rebel, so as to work in the opposite direction of the parents' expectations, and eventually still fall into the "fate" circle.
Zhu Yuanwai and Lady Zhu in "Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai", hindered by the influence of secular concepts, did not want their daughter Yingtai to marry the poor Liang Shanbo, so they ruthlessly broke them up.
During this period, Liang Shanbo pleaded bitterly, but the second elder was not moved. Instead, they resented his presence, causing their daughters to cease to obey. As everyone knows, Zhu Yingtai is disgusted that they are too involved in their marriage.
The things of life have always been like people drinking cold and warm self-knowledge. People who think they are very good to you may not be the same in my opinion. Unfortunately, Zhu Yuanwai and Lady Zhu did not understand this truth, and even wanted their daughter to forget Liang Shanbo as soon as possible and marry him to someone else.
During the period, Zhu Yingtai did not resist, but in the eyes of the second elder, this is just the result that she has not yet come out of the previous relationship, so she did not pay attention to it, resulting in tragedy.
And princess Xiangyang Chang in "Langya List", although she did not go to extremes like Zhu Yingtai, she was also depressed because of the betrayal of her biological mother.
She married Xie Yu according to her mother's wishes, and even had children with Xie Yu. But the scene of the past was like a thorn, inserted between her and Xie Yu.
Whenever she was touched by what Xie Yu had done, she would remember how they had come together in the first place.
Princess Xiangyang was deeply influenced by feudal etiquette, and even if she had some resentment towards her mother, she would suppress the resentment in her heart because of the worldly gaze, but transferring this hatred to Xie Yu, coupled with the appearance of Xiao Jingrui, it was difficult for her to get along with Xie Yu.
To be fair, Xie Yu was very good to Princess Xiangyang. He did not consider her betrayal of himself, nor did he consider her indifference over the years, but gave her the glory and respect she deserved. However, because of the preconceived notions, Ying Yang could not let go.
The focus of "LangyaBang" is on the love affair with Mei Changsu and Princess Xiangyang Changchang is only a driving effect, so the author does not overly describe the love affair of Princess Xiangyang, and everyone does not know what the person she likes looks like. And with his and Yingyang's identity, even if she marries him, she may not be happier than she is now.
But at least that followed princess Yingyang's wishes. Besides, with The ability of Ying Yang, even if he is in an enemy country, he may not be able to live a good life.
Unfortunately, the empress dowager cut off Ying Yang's thoughts, so she rarely had any really happy times in her life.
I don't know if the empress dowager will regret it in the future? Modern parents should learn from this and pay less attention to the future of their children.
2. The partner's bad
There are no perfect people in this world, so everyone has shortcomings. Regardless of whether the partner's shortcomings are enough, but with her so many years of inseparability, so many years of hand in hand, so many years of hard work, so many years of busy for the whole family, you should give him the respect he deserves.
Cai Quanwu in "The Little Woman Under the Gate of Zhengyang" is a very nested person in the eyes of everyone. People are not handsome, have no money, and do not have any good jobs. If it weren't for Xu Huizhen's "blind eyes" and insisting on marrying him, maybe he would have been a bare stick all his life.
However, no matter what outsiders think, Xu Huizhen has given him the respect he deserves. Even if what he did sometimes made her a little sad, she rarely said it. Because of this, their halfway couple lived extremely happily. Therefore, people over fifty years old should learn to keep their mouths shut and not talk about the bad of their partners.
3. Brothers and sisters are not
There are more than fifty people, and most of their parents are old, even after they have passed away. In this case, the brothers and sisters are the people closest to them. For them, no matter how much they complain, they should also learn to understand, after all, people cannot live a lifetime with hatred.
Brothers and sisters have grown up with us, given us many good childhood memories, and once grew up, they have carried the hardships of life with us. During the period, some of their actions may have made us very sad, but the time has passed a long time and we should also try to let go.
Even if you can't put it down, there is no need to talk to others again and again, or let your children do revenge, so that others can see jokes and parents are chilled.
Mr. Yang Dai once said: "People's life is a long and bumpy journey, to learn more from the experience of other people's lives, we can take fewer detours on the road, benefit for life." ”
When a person is over fifty, he should look up to the wise man, not talk about the future of his children, not talk about the bad of his partner, and not talk about the wrongs of his brothers and sisters, so as to control his mouth and make himself a respected elder.
END.