Author┃ Circle Reading aloud ┃ Circle
Guidance ┃Liang Shanbo Editor ┃丄學号
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Recently, a piece of news appeared on the hot search.
A middle-aged man lay on the road, crying while chanting. When the police came forward to dissuade him, the man actually begged the police to detain him.
The man said that he really did not teach his daughter to count, so he simply lay on the road, preferring to be detained by the police rather than go home.
The man's words made people cry and laugh.
Really do not talk about learning, motherly kindness and filial piety, when talking about learning, chickens fly and dogs jump.
Is educating children really so devastating?
In fact, parents have mastered these 3 tricks and can get along with their children at any time.
01
The child's growth follows the rules
Educator Tao Xingzhi said: Young children, such as seedlings, can be cultivated appropriately to germinate and grow, otherwise they will be injured at an early age, that is, they will not die prematurely, and it will be difficult to become talents.
The fable of "Seedlings Fueled" is known to everyone.
But in real life, there are many examples of "seedlings to promote growth".
I have a particularly fat elementary school classmate, and everyone calls her "Fat Sister".
When her mother conceived her, the family made her mother take many tonics in order to make her look stronger and healthier.
In that era when the problem of food and clothing was just solved, the image of the fat sister made many adults and children envious, and her family also had a great sense of superiority.
Moreover, when she runs every winter, she can also receive special treatment: because she is too fat to run, she only has to stand at the school gate, wait for everyone to come back from running, and enter the classroom together.
Dear parents, who of you would like to let your children enjoy this "preferential treatment"? Because, everyone knows that this level of fat is not only unhealthy, but also may induce a variety of diseases.
Think about it, every time I run, fat sister stands alone at the school gate.
At first, she might be happy. But, in the long run, will she feel lonely and bored? Do you want to be one of the guys? Will you grow up because you are too fat, but you can't get thin, and you have low self-esteem?
I don't know whether today' fat sister's family has deeply regretted that she did not follow the child's growth rules and damaged the child's health?
Poor fat sister, who should have been running wildly in the playground, but because of the family's momentary ignorance, thus laying the foundation for her future.
Coincidentally, some time ago, a news on the People's Network that "mothers forced their daughters to jump rope 3,000 times a day in order to make their daughters grow tall" also triggered heated discussions.
This daughter is 13 years old this year, 1 meter 58 tall, weighs 120 pounds, not short or fat.
However, the mother wants her daughter to be taller and thinner and more beautiful, so she forces her daughter to jump rope 3,000 times a day.
The daughter has been gritting her teeth and insisting, but recently, she felt a pain in her left knee, and her mother did not believe it at first, thinking that her daughter wanted to be lazy.
Later, the daughter was diagnosed with epiphysitis of the tibia nodule, and the mother regretted it.
It is common for parents to want their children to grow taller and better-looking.
However, parents do not follow the child's growth law, according to their own natural methods, blindly, causing physical harm to the child, is not worth the loss.
What's more, insisting on going his own way has caused psychological harm to the child. If this is not corrected, it will cause a lifetime of regret.
The result of parental expectations of their children is often counterproductive. Please let go of the unreasonable requirements for the growth rules of their children, and let the children grow up naturally and healthily!
02
Children learn and respect differences
As the saying goes: ten fingers have lengths.
The same is true of the student's grades.
Throughout the ages, no teacher has taught all students the same grades.
Educator Confucius, more than 3,000 disciples, only 72 people became famous.
It can be seen that no matter how good a teacher is, it is impossible to teach all students with excellent grades.
The famous scientist Albert Einstein did not have outstanding results in various subjects when he was a child, and he also scored 1 point in mathematics when he was laughed out of his teeth.
His hands-on ability is also very poor, even the manual homework, by the teacher ridiculed no more ugly than this.
Although Einstein did not do well in his studies and was even persuaded to quit school by his teachers, this did not prevent him from finding his own advantages and becoming a scientist.
A colleague of mine didn't understand that.
Her daughter, with a white and tender face and watery eyes, is lively and cheerful, and loved by everyone. But colleagues think, what is the use of being beautiful?
Colleagues only saw that their daughter attended a lot of cram schools, but her grades still did not improve. The family broke their hearts and made her schedule more tight.
Later, I was invited to the little girl's tenth birthday party, and her dance surprised the audience.
Colleagues told me that now the family is no longer just staring at their daughter's academic performance.
It turned out that one day when she woke up in the middle of the night, she found her daughter sobbing on the side. After the exchange, I learned that my daughter did not want to go to cram school for two days on the weekend, and she was too tired.
After thinking about it, the colleague decided to cancel the weekend cultural training for her daughter, and only kept the dance class that she was interested in.
Every time she participated in a dance competition, whether it was a school organization or a large competition in the city, she won a good ranking, so she became very happy and confident.
Yang Dongping, president of the 21st Century Education Research Institute, said:
"Many parents only know the score and ranking, in fact, today's competition is not 'fighting for the first', but 'finding the only', finding the direction and advantage that really belongs to the child."
Academic performance is not the only measure of whether a child is good or not. Each child has its own advantages, parents observe more, communicate more, will definitely find their children's "only" one.
Good at discovering the advantages of children, homeopathic cultivation, will achieve unexpected results.
03
The future of the child, waiting for the blossoms
There is a mentality called "time is silent, waiting for the flowers to bloom".
The father of cartoonist Cai Zhizhong is such a wise man.
Cai Zhizhong has loved comics since he was a child, and after going to middle school, he was even more obsessed with comics, and his grades plummeted, and he was asked by his teacher to repeat the grade.
At this time, Cai Zhizhong received a job offer from a comic publishing house. After much thought, he decided to give up his studies and take part in a job that interested him.
In this regard, his father always accepted his choice very calmly.
When the reporter interviewed Cai Zhizhong's 81-year-old father, he was also very curious: How did you feel at ease to let your son leave home?
The old man replied lightly: Although I usually rarely ask questions about my son's behavior, I have always paid attention to everything about him. I know his interests and talents, so I will give him the freedom to bravely do what he wants to do, and I am not worried about the result, as long as he can do things seriously.
Like Cai Zhizhong's father, my uncle and aunt are people with similar ideas.
When I was a child, I overheard adults chatting once, and my father said: My family has been reading for half a semester in the first year of yuanyuan, and the most basic words are not read well. How did you learn English well?
Uncle said: We don't care, they learned it themselves.
The aunt immediately laughed: The learning machine was not bought by you? Didn't you buy optical discs and tapes? Book by book, exercises, not my careful selection?
It turned out that the excellent academic performance of the two sisters was soaked with the efforts behind their parents.
Their parents have prepared all the learning tools for them, but they do not force them to do it specifically, but give them enough room to develop and let them play freely.
Then, the parents are silently watching, making sure that the child is learning independently, and then waiting for the flowers to bloom.
Some people say that waiting for the flowers to bloom is to do nothing and let the children grow up freely.
In fact, the process of waiting for the flowers to bloom requires parents to irrigate love, silent attention and pay.
04
Write at the end
Look at the child in a different way, and you will see his strengths and "growth points".
Child, like a seed.
When he absorbs sunlight, fertilizer, water, he will definitely break through the soil, sprout, grow...
However, until he grows up, we may not be able to see what kind of seed he is.
Some bloom in early spring, some bloom in midsummer, some bloom in late autumn, some bloom in winter...
But yes, he did not blossom, because he grew into a big tree.
Who's to say that trees are inferior to flowers?
Accept the "seed" of your own home happily! Whether he is a flower or a tree, as long as we provide enough sunlight, fertilizer and water, why worry he can't thrive?
Author: Yuanyuan, a little fairy who loves work, loves learning, and loves life.
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Appreciation belongs to the author
Shanbo Education Guidance ┃ Liang Shanbo
Liang Shanbo, a first-class teacher, an advanced educator in Shenzhen, the first batch of family education instructors in Bao'an District, the first learning star in Bao'an District, and the editor-in-chief of Shanbo Education Public Account. Engaged in education for 38 years, focusing on the comprehensive quality education of parenting.