I have seen such a sentence:
"In feelings, only not loving is not the reason for not taking the initiative."
It's a little absolute, but it's not unreasonable, because love is the answer to all questions.
Maybe there will be many people, always looking for various reasons for their own inactivity, I am too busy, I am too tired, I am embarrassed...
But in fact, as long as you miss it enough, you can take time out no matter how busy you are;
As long as you are affectionate enough, you will consider each other even if you are tired;
As long as you like it enough, even if you are introverted, you can't help but express your love.
"Active" is the most obvious and inevitable feature of loving a person.
If there is a signal of inactivity in a relationship, especially the following three kinds of "inactive", then it often indicates that the fate has been exhausted.
What you have to do is to recognize it in time and stop the loss in time.
Don't take the initiative to give
In a movie, I was deeply moved by a line:
"The most wonderful thing in the world is to love others, and to be loved, to give to each other."
The reason why love is beautiful, in fact, the most important thing is that you love me, I love you, you pay a little for me, I pay a little for you.
In this way, in giving each other and touching each other, the feelings become as sweet as honey.
However, when two people treat each other with each other, and they are always afraid of losing money when they get along, then it is obvious that there is only measurement between two people, there is no affection.
I have seen such a story on the Internet:
There is a couple, when the two people are first together, they are eager to give each other all their good things.
Men never skimp on spending money on women, and buying gifts for women never ask, "Do you want to?" ”
Women wash their hands and make soup for men are never afraid of trouble, and knitting sweaters for men never cares about how much time is wasted.
But then the two people changed, the man became miserly, the woman no longer took the initiative to give, this state lasted less than half a year, the relationship between the two people was declared over.
Someone said:
"People treat feelings more than you think, especially when they choose to break up, they treat everything with a lot of gratitude, and many people don't have past kindness."
Giving actively is an outward manifestation of love, and if two people care about each other, then they will inevitably want to give each other the best, even if they need to make sacrifices themselves.
But once both people become selfish and calculating, then it can only mean that in each other's hearts, the other is already an outsider, and even the slightest effort has become no longer worth it.
Do not initiate contact
Zhou Guoping said:
"Love is a never-ending thought, and where there is love, there is concern, and it seems to be for no reason, almost nervous."
To truly love someone, you can't do it for many days without seeing each other, and still don't take the initiative to contact each other.
The person who never initiates contacting you, just because he has a more important presence around him.
Friends Yuanyuan and ex were together for three years.
When they were first together, two people would stick together as soon as they had time, sometimes making more than a dozen phone calls a day.
In Yuanyuan's words, as long as he is not around, his heart is like losing something, and he can't help but want to contact him.
But in the time before the breakup, the phone between the two people suddenly went cold.
Yuanyuan is bored, even if he is looking for friends to chat, he is not willing to look for him again. The same is true of the other party, who has not had a single message for ten days and half a month.
Until one day later, the other party proposed to break up, and Yuanyuan did not stay, and the feelings of the two people came to an end.
In fact, love or no love is so obvious, there is not much desire to indulge, there is not much routine.
People who have you in their hearts will always take the initiative to find you.
And when he no longer takes the initiative to contact you, even if he does not say the word "not love", then silence and evasion have explained everything.
When he has decided to leave, what you have to do is not to humble himself, but to turn around in time to go to the next intersection.
After all, you can't wake up a person who pretends to be asleep, and you can't feel a heart that doesn't love you.
Do not initiate reconciliation
No matter how much two people you love, as long as they are together, then there will always be contradictions and quarrels.
If two people love each other deeply, then we will find that when the quarrel is over, both people will regret it and will think of reconciliation.
At this time, there must be a person who will find a way to save it, and then a person will quietly borrow the slope to get off the donkey.
On the contrary, when a conflict occurs, the two people are unwilling to take the initiative to reconcile, or even a state of indifference, then it can only show that the two people do not care about feelings.
In the TV series "Dear Myself", there is such a plot.
After Zhang Zhizhi found out that Liu Yang was wrong, she went to Liu Yang's company to find him, and when he saw Wei Yayun holding the same thermos cup as her, he naturally had anger in his heart.
In this way, Zhang Zhizhi and Liu Yang had a quarrel, and Liu Yang even started to beat Zhang Zhizhi.
For such a situation, Liu Yang's mother did not want the marriage of the two people to change, so she asked Liu Yang to apologize to Zhang Zhizhi.
Of course, Liu Yang also knows that if he does not apologize, then it indicates that the feelings of the two people cannot be repaired. But how did Liu Yang do it?
Liu Yang not only did not apologize, but also ran away from home, without any conciliatory attitude.
Obviously, at the moment when Liu Yang chose not to reconcile, he was tired of the relationship in his heart and wanted to leave.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"It feels so good to hug, it's a comfort to the flesh, a reward for the world."
The person who loves you will not slam the door when you lose your temper, but will pull you into your arms and patiently soothe you.
And when a contradiction occurs, the two people do not care to let the contradiction expand, then it can only mean that the two people have no deep affection, and it is only a matter of time before they are separated.
I like a sentence that Lu Yao said:
"People live a lifetime, there are many things worth loving, don't be discouraged because you are not satisfied."
Nothing in this world is destined to be eternal, life is like that, and so are feelings.
When a relationship has become entangled and made you miserable, then what you have to do is not to wrong yourself, but to know how to stop the loss in time.
After all, life is difficult, when not to lose time, do not bear yourself.
END
Author: Away from the rain slightly cool, a rational, emotional, like to use words to express personal views, bring you spiritual healing, emotional solution, life perception of the post-90s writer.