In recent years, the talk about "appreciation education" has become more and more "light", and many people think that it is not right to just appreciate and not criticize education!
In fact, "appreciation education" can still play a positive role when used well, but many people one-sidedly understand this kind of education.
01
"Appreciative education" is not a blind praise.
If the child in your eyes is a "troublemaker" and a "nasty ghost", then no matter how much you praise, it is empty and pale.
If the children in the eyes of parents are the "works" created by themselves, then they will carefully polish every detail little by little, understand the child's heart with their hearts, and discover the child's interest. Then, even if you occasionally throw tantrums and criticize your child, your child can listen to it and can appreciate the hardships and difficulties of parents.
In short, whether it is praise or criticism, as long as the child can maintain progress, happiness, self-confidence, sunshine, and gratitude, such education is successful.
Learn to adapt to the characteristics of children and tailor goals, rather than having to take the "first place" and "Qingbei" as an example every time.
Don't reluctantly pursue anything, but do your best.
Children read a homework, reading to the end seems to be very difficult, rather than superficial hard work, it is better to spend more time, spend on the subjects they are interested in, because the facts have become obvious, you are not suitable for learning this thing and have no interest, can understand the basic common sense of this subject, there is no need to suppress and give up the real love of their hearts. Only in the state of "love" can the child's creativity exceed your imagination.
02
The Beijing Winter Olympics are in full swing, and we have produced many Olympic champions, such as Gu Ailing, who recently caught fire.
Many mothers encourage their children to grow up to be as good as Gu Ailing - to be bilingual speakers, to be able to ski, to go to prestigious schools, to win awards...
Everyone has their own characteristics, and Gu Ailing's success is due to his special family structure (a combination of Chinese and Western) and his personal special interests, coupled with the efforts of the day after tomorrow.
Each child has a different growth soil, do not blindly imitate, follow the trend, that way, in fact, harm their own children!
Is the child successful? Without an absolute standard of measurement, the life of a successful person may not be as you wish: before success, you may experience countless failures, and after success, you may also face a deeper abyss of failure next time.
After a night of popularity, we must prepare in advance for the low points of life such as "past" and "not red". In contrast, "civilian" education and ordinary education are more in line with the original intention of education that respects human nature.
After all, a life of "trigonometric functions" is the norm of life. A smooth life does not exist in this world, and it is important to hone the mentality.
Children can not pursue the so-called "success" in the eyes of the world, but they must be proud or even wild, and they must do their best to be "proud" at least once in order to truly mature and grow up!
03
Letting children "proud" once is the best way to generate yang qi and stretch the liver meridians!
Now there are more and more autistic children and more depressed children.
If the child is bound by rules and regulations for a long time, this does not dare, that will not, for a long time, insecurity, pressure, rebellion, depression, autism...
Today's teachers and parents, to comment on or evaluate children, the most common sentence, is "do not be proud and complacent", in fact, this invisibly suppresses the child's "ambition", but also invisibly suppresses their "liver meridian".
In the spring, the original wood qi should go up, the child is nervous, the "liver wood" is trapped, the whole gas machine is trapped, it is easy to affect the growth and development of the child.
In fact, these killing materials, including antibiotics, should also be used sparingly, because these are contrary to the intention of Chunsheng. Western medicine emphasizes sterilization, and Chinese medicine emphasizes detoxification, one killing, one reconciliation, in fact, there are two ways of thinking. The child uses bitter cold drugs or anti-inflammatory drugs at the beginning, which kills the opportunity to grow hair, and the bottom of a lifetime will be affected.
In the spring, in the season when everything rises and grows, we should cultivate the child's "small arrogance", in addition to avoiding cold products, do not impose too much control and suppression, on the contrary, we must also learn and observe the objects and details of the child's "pride", and appropriately guide and cultivate.
Of course, what is said here is to make the child "proud" once, not simply to understand that it is "giving the child a certificate" and "buying a gift", and praising it. Rather, it is said that this attitude should be integrated into life, a certain look, a common word, a subtle action, enough!
As long as the child's self-confidence and love can be fundamentally established, the impact of that power and influence on the child's life will be huge.
04
Yes, if a child can be "proud", there must be "proud" "capital"!
It may be that the child writes well, or it may be good at sports, or perhaps the child is a calligrapher, or a dance genius, or interested in artificial intelligence.
Or, the child's "piano, chess, calligraphy and painting" is not good. But even if it is eloquence, it can speak the truth, which is also "capital"!
Or, the child has no specialty, but is simple and kind, then, this is also a kind of "capital"!
Regarding the divine quality, it is to master the four words of "concentration", "scattering", "clear", and "turbidity". People who are "clean" in nature usually have a high sensitivity as well. If a person's divine quality is clear and fixed, this is the pillar of the country. If the child is warm and giving, then he has a very positive influence. (Children's Health Lecture Notes)
Therefore, the grades can also not be stared at, nor do they need to compare the so-called "specialties", just by the child's "fixed" and "clear" state and "giving heart"... This seemingly "virtual" thing can just become the "capital" of the child!
Moreover, this kind of "capital" is very valuable, not only to maintain the health of the child, but also to relate to the quality and pattern of the child's future life.
However, many parents can't see their children's "capital" every day, and they are worried all day long, and the actual problem may be in the parents, not necessarily the children. Learn to experience yourself first, and then experience your child.
Since God gave birth to a life for his parents and gave people the opportunity to be parents, then, if Heaven has the virtue of good life, this new life must have his "capital", and there must be a "skill" for him to survive in this world in his own unique way, just to see how to excavate.
"Once, my child was playing chess (Go) and he was in kindergarten. A high school teacher who liked Go came and the child did not say hello, so I had to apologize and say that the child did not understand politeness. Who knew that this sentence caused a kind criticism: thanks to you or teaching, how to educate children in this way? To train him to learn Go, first of all, we must cultivate him this kind of arrogance without anyone, without a little arrogance, how to compete with others? It was like a good meal, which made me suddenly realize that I had suddenly discovered the misunderstanding of my previous tutor's thinking.
"When you experience pride, (the child) will slowly mature; suppressing pride will suppress the play of (the child's) personality and suppress the space for development." ——(Journey to the West to take the I Ching)
The language, movements, aura, thoughts, and enlightenment of the usual education are like the "magic spells" of the child, and the parents are magicians, just like the "masters" on the West Heavenly Road.
Whether this "spell" is used properly or not,
Decided:
Can you fulfill your "Goku"——
A man with the potential to become a great sage!