Zhengzhou Traditional Chinese Medical Hall: Today's younger generation of parents have absorbed a lot of new educational concepts, and they often think that good children are exaggerated. Can a child be molded into an angel who is "loved by all" with just a lot of praise? In the United States, the birthplace of "appreciation education", more and more intellectual parents are reflecting on the harm of "excessive encouragement". Too much encouragement is like too much sugar. You know, if you want your child to know the beauty of "sugar", don't let him fall into the sugar jar.
There is no point in exaggerating.
"You're so nice!" "You're a sensible boy. You are the pride of your parents. "Oh, you acted like an angel this morning!" For babies under 5 years old, such "abstract" encouragement is meaningless. He simply did not understand which of his actions were like "angels" and which became the "pride" of his parents. Since the purpose of encouragement is to reinforce your baby's good behavior, praise should be as specific as possible. We will find that once we point out which of the child's behaviors are "progressive", the child will follow these behavioral laws to do things in the future, he will consciously volunteer, and our parenting process will be "labor-saving and effective". Specific encouragement for a particular detail is often low-key, such as "I'm glad you offered to help my mom make the bed this morning, thank you." "You're so nice, take the initiative to help your mother put the dishes and chopsticks, and go downstairs to help your grandfather put them!" Low-key and specific encouragement, which sounds very casual, very kind, and clearly tells the child: this is a behavior that should be cultivated. We were family and helped each other, it was natural.
Cause resentment and upset
A considerable number of parents misunderstand the basic principle of "appreciation education". They think that "appreciating education" is to dig three feet into the ground to find reasons to praise children. They even think that "the child does not have these strengths, you praise him, he is not embarrassed to deny, naturally will work in this direction." "A child will suspect that his parents praise him for his own purposes." They just said they wanted me to obey. They are fake. In order to praise the "true self", the more praise the child is likely to receive, the more stubborn he will be.
Can't stand frustration and criticism.
Because extraordinary praise gives children the illusion that they are the best, or that they will never do anything wrong. When he was criticized like this by teachers and children, he couldn't stand it. Therefore, the child who is praised at home often does not like to go to kindergarten when the class is about to graduate, and he will be sleepy from time to time. "Why did my mother praise me for being 'awesome' when I put the toy back in the drawer, but the teacher would criticize me for not putting the toy in the cardboard box like a thing?" The "overgenerality" of the family's encouragement of the child actually forms a double standard with the principle of encouragement in the kindergarten, which confuses the child and makes it easier to stay at home than in the scene of group activities.