1, the company has a female colleague who looks very beautiful, I chased after me for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and I will not do it later

1, the company has a female colleague who looks very beautiful, I chased hard for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and you will eat fruit in the future. I asked her, "Who is your sister?" The female colleague said: The female boss of our company is my sister. I thought about it carefully, since I couldn't take down my female colleague, then I took down her sister, so I made a major decision that day and began to pursue the female boss, and the next day, I would ask the female boss every day for warmth, and everything cared about her, and within a month, the female boss was touched by me and promised to be my girlfriend. Today, the landlady called the female colleague to the office and said: From today on, he is your brother-in-law. When the female colleague heard it, she stomped her feet in anger. Then, I walked out of the office and vaguely heard the landlady say to the female colleague: Don't think about hitting your brother-in-law in the future. Hey hey, it's so deeply hidden in merit and fame.

2, it was difficult to sleep off work, and as a result, a man downstairs honked his horn and kept shouting: "Whose van?" Will you park a car? Stuck in my car! Directly woke up Lao Tzu, I pulled open the window and scolded downstairs: "You are sick, early in the morning, Lao Tzu deliberately stopped that blocking your car, how can you put Lao Tzu!" "The man got out of the car and smashed the windshield of the van... Then there was a fight downstairs, and I went back to sleep.

3, Fa Xiao bought a Mercedes-Benz car key on the Internet, and it didn't take long to find a model girlfriend. I was very envious after watching it, and also spent 20 yuan to buy a lighter with the keys to a Porsche sports car. When I went to the bar for a drink, I threw my car keys on the table. This trick really worked, and several beautiful women came to talk. A beautiful woman asked: What about your car? I calmly said: I drink and never drive.

4. Have a small party. There were nine men, not including women. When we paid the bills, all nine of us stood up and took out our wallets. The waiter was holding the bill next to me. Then I watched eight of them stand in pairs. No one stopped me. I paid eight dollars before I got up. He pointed at me and said, "What are you robbing?" ”？ My heart says, I don't rob, I can't stop my right hand with my left hand!

5. When I was working in Futukang before, I used the ID card of the workshop director to bag six million. I took the money to join the Comedy Man and gave it all to the three mentors. At the scene of the competition, I had not yet spoken a paragraph, and as soon as I opened my mouth, the three instructors were laughing. The host said: See? You are naturally suitable for this comedy stage, just as soon as you come up, the three comedy masters laugh and close their mouths!! I cried: I knew it was the result. Director: Why? Me: Since I was a child, my family said I looked like a comedy...

6. Work in the postal group for half a year, with a monthly salary of about 20,000 yuan. Last night I worked overtime until very late to leave work, and I went home to take a shower and was sleepy. My wife was wearing pajamas and crossed her hands to prevent me from entering the bedroom, and I cautiously asked her: "What's the matter again, do you want me to sleep on the sofa again?" Wife: "There are mosquitoes in the bedroom, since you can't catch it, then I will lock it up until it dies, tonight I sleep on the sofa in the living room, you go and squeeze with our family golden retriever!" ”?

7. On this day, my sister-in-law came to my house to play, and my son came back from school and stared at his aunt for a few seconds. Then without a sound he turned around and went back to his room. The husband stopped him and said, "Why are you so rude that you don't say hello when you see your aunt." The son turned around and said seriously, "My aunt has become ugly, and I don't want to recognize her." After saying that, I went back to my room, leaving my husband and my sister-in-law messy in the wind.

8. A student was called to the office teacher by the teacher because of the fight: Why did you beat the classmate for no reason! Student: Because he scolded you! Teacher: Although I am very touched that you stand out for the teacher, it is not right to solve the problem with your strength! Student: Who's going to give you a head start, I beat him because he didn't show up! They will only say bad things about you behind your back, and dare not scold you in person! Teacher Fury: Roll...

9, idle bored high a female number, added the buddy V letter. The more we talked, the more hi we were, and we sent him a group of beautiful photos, and the voice changer cooked the phone porridge. A few days later, saying that I was short of money, the goods called me 1314 three times, and then I threw away the number. The boy came to me for a drink in frustration, and we both drank so much that I accidentally told the truth. Later, we fell out!

10. After so many years, I once again came to the door of Maotanchang Middle School. It was once my alma mater, and I remember my life in school: the concentration in class, the sprinkling in the exam room, the galloping on the court, the singing in the candlelight, and the shadows in the memory. I think back then, I also went through hard work to have today's achievements. Just as I was sighing, a student suddenly called out to me: "Boss, a meat sandwich bun to take away!" Me: "Okay, right away!" ”

11, rich: so cheap, give me a 50 pounds! The boss looked up at the sky and said: Good, a total of 575 yuan! The rich man was stunned, took out his mobile phone to open the calculator, calculated for half a day and found that it was correct, and he was greatly impressed in his heart! So I couldn't help but ask: Dare to ask your excellency if you are using cloud computing!!!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #