Non-let emotion FM original
A reader once told me about her own family:
My mother-in-law is a scumbag, repeatedly protecting her son to make things difficult for me. They look down on my family, use me as a nanny, divert dissension, and do everything. But how good can my husband be?
I have experienced countless cheating and betrayals of the father of the child, but my heart has always insisted on one thing to do outside, just give money.
Manage the children's various tuition and miscellaneous expenses and the children's living expenses. My personal living expenses are calculated separately.
Birthday Valentine's Day, don't engage in those vain things. As long as you give living expenses, there is no love, why pretend.
Divorce is not to say that I am afraid of divorce, but I want to keep the family business for my children, and I want to live a healthy, healthy and happy life. Think of him as a money-making machine, he's working for me and my kids.
If the divorce is who will raise children for us, why should we cry and shout and lose their temper to find him awkward, he will not go home, I want to do what I want to do more freedom.
My whole life has been ruined in this marriage, and I hope my children are all right. It's worth it too.
Emotional Reviews:
Is this heroine really right?
I personally feel that her choice, although not necessarily right, is understandable, because there is no unified answer in life. How to choose is weighed according to the individual's own conditions.
However, the state of this family is already very unhealthy, and it may be more harmful than beneficial to the growth of children. Therefore, it is suggested that this mother, if her own conditions allow to get out of this abnormal state of the relationship, should be broken.
Don't feel like giving money, two people living together, no matter this man, this family is OK.
It's just a barely sustainable family, and the home is in turmoil at any time.
A mother's self-esteem for ease is not a long-term solution.
It should be known that the child's growth is based on the copy mode of the parent's model. If you want your children to live happily in the future, you should always ignore small things, and issues of principle should never be tolerated.
Otherwise, once children form a wrong idea, they will spend their whole lives curing themselves of this life change.
A happy life is exchanged for the correct three views.
A mother's ideas and practices undoubtedly determine the future direction of a family, and even more hide the future of the child.
The mother's choice in educating the child may also be the child's attitude when facing the fate of the future.
French scholar Bodas said: "People's concepts and standards are deeply influenced by parents and are rooted in their minds. ”
The influence of the original family on a person is even lingering for a lifetime.
Someone once said that his own man was outside and made trouble, and he also made a fuss and a fight, and then he didn't care. Thinking about the husband as long as he takes the family, make it up, but also for the good of the children.
Men look for women every three or five minutes, and the man's wife no longer cares about him.
Ponder turned a blind eye.
In the third year of junior high school, the man was a good woman outside, the child could not stand the cold and cold at home, there was no temperature, he dropped out of school early, went out to work, and married a working sister of the same kind.
The woman also wants to continue to live in a confused way, and there is a husband hanging on the hukou.
However, it should be said that the man had a wind in the house of the concubine, and the three children threw him in the hospital, and the man disappeared.
Knowing that she had brought back her father who was out there, the son who heard the news and came home was so angry that he yelled at her: "You owe a man so much?" You don't divorce me, you say it's for me every day, but what kind of home have you given me?! ”
From then on, the child never went back.
Later, the child's marriage also unconsciously followed in the footsteps of his parents. He is far away from his original family, and he can't enter the role of the new family he formed, so he is not happy.
Because he has never seen what a happy family looks like, he has dealt with it as the true face of marriage.
When his mother thought that she had endured humiliation and burden for her children for the sake of the family, how could the children live without grievances?
Both men are paying for the mistakes of the men in this family in the wrong way.
I was impressed by this passage on the Internet:
"People often ask: What is the best love that parents can give their children? The best answer, of course, is parental love. But what if you can't? My experience is honest. Honesty leads to self-discipline, kindness, love and respect. A person who dares to be completely honest, no matter what difficulties he encounters, no matter how difficult the circumstances, can return to happiness, tranquility and joy. ”
Therefore, in a failed marriage, a mother cannot deceive herself, cannot force herself and her children to accept the illusion of "peace in the world", and cannot cover her ears and pretend to be happy.
Bad days, in the real face, will really pass. Start over.