Recently, a video of Yang Lan interviewing Professor Zheng Qiang about "double subtraction" exploded on the Internet. The sentence "Chinese children do not lose at the starting line, but are tired and fall on the starting line", I don't know how many people's hearts have been poked.
Indeed, the increasing intensity of the inner volume of education makes children miserable and parents overwhelmed, and the state's "double reduction" policy is like a sharp brake, so that educators, parents, and everyone in the whirlpool of inner volume begin to stop and reflect:
What is what education really should look like?
What role should we play?
#01
What is the starting point of education: it is to ignite the love in children's hearts with the educator's love for life
The starting point of education should be love, without love there is no education.
The love and respect for life, the enthusiasm for life, the curiosity and exploration of the unknown world, and the tireless pursuit of knowledge should be these that support our education, not just the immediate scores.
When a society, when educators treat children with love and respect for life, they will naturally understand that each child is an angel and has its own uniqueness. What we can do as educators is to take advantage of the situation, stimulate the bud of children's interest, and let them maintain a love of their own.
This love is the driving force of the child's life, and it is a continuous generator that inspires him to continue to explore and work hard.
Don't underestimate the power of this love. The spark of a spark can ignite the plains. A child's love for something can extend like ripples to his life and learning.
There was once a boy who did not go to school who was sent by his parents for psychological counseling, and at first he was always silent, but when I talked to him about football, the boy's heart seemed to be touched and he talked endlessly.
He likes to play football, but he is suffering from the fact that he is a "stinky foot" and has failed several times and never dares to play again. He said he liked himself the most on the pitch and felt that he was sparkling at that time. I said the way you look when you talk about football is also sparkling. I encouraged him to pick up the sport again, and later the boy not only regained his love of football, but also ignited a passion for learning and returned to school.
Why do many children learn to learn, and there is no light in their eyes. That's not because of the boredom of knowledge and the difficulty of the learning process, but because he can't find his own fun, he doesn't know why he wants to learn this.
As Professor Zheng Qiang said, there is no person in his heart, he has no passion, no enthusiasm for learning. Driven by the trend of the whole social background, the child is like a marionette, pushed by the parents, pushed by the teacher, if not for his love and hard work, for his dreams, where does he come from the motivation to walk?
In such a situation, the child is tired, and the parents and teachers are even more tired.
Educators' love and respect for life determine their role orientation.
If educators do not realize that children are an independent life, have their own living thoughts, and have their own rhythm of growth, then it is easy to fall into a situation of overstepping the generations. From the beginning of enrollment, parents and teachers are like pushing a trolley, pushing their children to the trajectory they want. When the child is young, we can push it; when the child goes to high school and college, can we still push it? Does he still let push?
This is why many children have emotional problems after high school and college, and it is also the root cause of many children's "sheep herding" state after college. From an early age, children long to be respected and treated as an independent life individual and a sentient life, but they can't ask for it, and in the end, they will be manifested in emotional conflicts with parents and passive slackness in behavior.
Only when the child has a love in his heart and is injected with feelings, he will be full of curiosity and exploration of the unknown world; only when he is full of curiosity and exploration of the unknown world, the child is full of enthusiasm and motivation for learning; only when the heart is full of enthusiasm and motivation, the child will enjoy the process of learning more than the results, and will still take pleasure in suffering and study hard when encountering setbacks and challenges.
The former Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky once said: "Every child contains certain qualities that have not yet sprouted." These qualities are like sparks, and to ignite them, you need Mars... One of the most important tasks of education is not to leave the gunpowder in any soul unkindled, but to bring all talents and talents to the fullest use. ”
So, see? This is the most important work of our education, and this is also the essence of education.
Educators should let children understand that knowledge is essential, but knowledge is not only for you to go to college in the future and find a job in the future, but also for the realization of what you love. Learning knowledge is not only the goal, but also a bridge to make yourself better and better, to the road to your dreams.
#02
What education tells us: life is not about the starting line, but about perseverance and tenacity
Professor Zheng Qiang said: "Life is not decided by the starting, the starting is the initial speed, people who do not understand education look at the initial speed, and people who understand education look at the acceleration on the way." Running far and running long is much more important than running. ”
Education cultivates the quality of a person's life, not just limited to the primary school entrance examination, the middle school entrance examination, and the college entrance examination. Learning is a lifelong thing, not going to college and ending, on the contrary, after college is the real display of a person's learning ability. Because learning at this time tests the child's autonomy, self-motivation, self-planning ability, and pays more attention to whether the child has the quality of diligence and tenacity, and whether he loves learning from the heart.
Many children who rushed to the front at that time, although they were infused with a lot of knowledge and once had strong examination ability, but because they have always been in a state of "being arranged, planned, and directed", when they lose the constraints of their parents and teachers, they suddenly retreat to the pre-liberation period, without autonomy, let alone the motivation to move forward.
Looking at the current workplace, there is an increasing need for "active" rather than "passive" people. A thoughtful, assertive person is far more valuable than a group of employees who will only follow the steps.
And many children in the rush, the price paid is not only a lot of repetitive practice of the time and energy spent, but also the squeeze of enthusiasm for learning, the deprivation of independent exploration, thinking opportunities, and the disregard for children's childlike hearts. Without these sources of motivation for learning, how can children be required to persevere and persevere after being disciplined by parents and teachers?
As educators, we can only make the right choice if we stand tall enough and see far enough. Otherwise, "Although we know what we love, we actually harm it; although we know what we care about, we actually hate it." ”
Social anxiety will remind parents from time to time that they must not lose at the starting line, which is itself confusing. What is the starting line of life? Is it the grade of elementary school and kindergarten? Or earlier, who spoke first and who learned to walk first? After decades of life, do you look back at the things that made you anxious and hungry, and you were eager to learn for your children? The story of pulling seedlings has been passed down for thousands of years, and everyone will lament that "it is harmful to pluck seedlings to grow", and sometimes we are in it without knowing it.
For children, the best starting line is the parents' insight and pattern, and the parents' sincere love for their children, which is the starting line that can truly affect the children's future life.
Be sure to let your child know that life is a marathon, as long as you have an awakened consciousness and change your mind, any day can become your new starting line.
Success is always achieved in the process of trial and error, summing up experience, failing, and getting up from a fall. The "can't lose at the starting line" that parents instilled in their children from a young age has the greatest impact on their children is that they dare not lose, cannot lose, and do not allow their own failure.
This is why many children with excellent academic performance when they were young entered high school, college, and work lagged behind others, and their psychological defense lines collapsed, and even they gave up on themselves and lay flat. Because this attitude towards life instilled from childhood makes them think that this immediate failure is a lifelong failure, a total denial of the whole person. If a person is not able to face his failures correctly, how can he rise from failure?
If you carefully study the life course of celebrities, you will find that behind the success are countless thorns and more painful tribulations. Why did Chu Shijian come out of prison in his eighties and start planting oranges, and still create another business empire? Why did Yu Minhong experience the cliff-like decline of life again at the peak of New Oriental in the year of Ershun, and still be spoiled and transform rapidly? Whether a person is tough enough and persistent in the face of failure determines the height that life can reach.
#03
Family education has a long way to go
Education is not only a matter of school, the family has assumed a more important role, shaping children in places that cannot be seen or touched, and outlining the most basic background for children's hearts and qualities.
Surveys have found that children who are severely disciplined by their parents are at greater risk of poor learning. Strict parental discipline refers to the use of shouting, beatings, verbal and physical threats as a means of punishing children. The study notes that children who grow up in such environments find it difficult to succeed academically and are more likely to drop out of secondary school and college.
Parents should understand that they should be strict and not strict. Strict, the child will cooperate; strict, the child will resist. Whether it is strict or severe, the child's heart can feel it. In a child under long-term harsh and harsh reprimands, his mood is nervous and depressed, and he will always worry about whether he will cause dissatisfaction among his parents because he is not doing well enough, and this worry will seriously consume his energy.
The family atmosphere is harmonious with a loving child, he can calm down and focus on what he wants to do. Some children look very hard but can't learn how to go up, in fact, the internal consumption is almost exhausted. His mind is not idle, he is busier than studying well, busy is also very tired, but his psychological energy is used to cope with many invisible pressures and emotions of parents.
Most commonly, parents give their children lectures, but the children are unconsciously biting the pen and nibbling their hands. Parents talked endlessly for half a day, the more they talked, the more urgent, you ask the child what to say, he must be more and more confused. Because most of his psychological energy is used to carry and digest the pressure and emotions of his parents, there is really not much left for learning.
Therefore, as a parent, how to help children keep that inner peace is our biggest proposition, rather than helping children solve specific problems.
Family education lays the foundation for a child's character and mental maturity. A loving family atmosphere will give children infinite strength. Only the heart that grows up under the nourishment of love will mature, and the wisdom of the child will bloom naturally like a flower.
Only trees that are moistened by sunlight and rain and dew can grow into towering trees, and only people with mature hearts will have a clear moral concept and sense of rule of law, can they feel the happiness of life, and can they discover, invent and create. And these are all the joint efforts of families, schools, and society.
Education, in the final analysis, has an impact on the shaping of people and on life.
Obeying the laws of nature, so that the child's soul is full of happiness due to the germination of dreams, the joy of success is experienced by perseverance, and the fullest expression of each child's own talent in the field is not only the child's personal happiness, but also the happiness of the whole society.
Author: Guo Jasmine, psychological counselor, concerned about education and parenting field.
This article only represents the author's personal views, the copyright belongs to Hong En Education, reprint please leave a message.