Every parent is like a huge "energy pool", if the parent's energy is high, it can drive the child's energy and make the child excellent. But in the same way, if the parent's energy pool is low, it will affect the child's behavior and handling, delay the child's ability to improve, and hinder the child's progress and development. It may even make a very good child become particularly bad.
In life, parents with high energy pools are more reliable than parents at a lower level, and their children's cultivation is more in place. For example, when a first-class parent is bullied, he will neither teach his child to "fight back" nor allow his child to be bullied. Instead, it will use time-saving and labor-saving ways to help children cultivate children who cannot be "provoked".
Children are bullied, and second-rate parents allow their children to be angry
Xiaolan was bullied at school, and the bully she was a naughty boy, her parents divorced, and she was taken care of by her grandmother. After Xiaolan returned home, she told her mother about her skirt being painted. Unexpectedly, my mother persuaded Xiaolan: "It's just a dress, it doesn't matter, my mother will buy you a new one." ”
Xiao Lan was very aggrieved, feeling that not only was her skirt scratched, but also pushed by the troublemaker, and she fell for no reason, and she should not be bullied like this. But second-rate parents don't think about it, and eventually these mistakes lead to their children being wronged.
Common mistakes made by second-rate parents:
1 After the child is bullied, parents often say "forget it", "It's okay"
When Xiaolan once again asked her mother to make decisions for herself, hoping that her mother could preside over justice for herself, her mother once again spoke: "Mother is busy watching dramas, can you stay by yourself for a while!" Isn't it just a little thing, it doesn't matter, why do you have to worry about it! Forget it, okay? ”
After saying that, the mother patted her daughter casually, and after a simple comfort, she did not say anything more. Xiao Lan saw her mother's reaction, went back to the house and slammed the door shut, crackling and starting to smash things.
2 After the child is bullied, parents often say "fight back"
The mother saw that Xiaolan was angry, the house was thrown into a mess, the mother was angry, she told her daughter in a loud voice: "What is your ability to drop things, you have the ability to beat the boy, who made your skirt, you go to find who to settle the account." Whoever pushes you down, you have to fight back! ”
When Xiao Lan heard her mother say this, she trembled with anger and said fiercely: "If you beat him, you will fight, who said I did not dare to hit him." As a result, the next day, Xiaolan brought a small pair of scissors and deliberately took advantage of the little boy's lunch break to cut a piece of the boy's clothes. Then, he also slammed a fist to wake up the boy.
As a result, the two children pushed and shoved each other, and both were punished by the teacher for standing all day, and Xiaolan was asked to write a review book to read in public. This made Xiao Lan even more depressed, and when she came home, she cried.
Analysis: The energy pool of second-rate parents is really low. They themselves are not in place, they are still educating children, it is easy to take children astray, affecting children's interpersonal relationships.
In fact, during the school period, it is normal for children to clash with people, and it is not unusual to be bullied occasionally. The key is how parents guide their children after they are bullied. Let's take a look at how first-class parents with relatively high energy values educate their children?
"First-class parents" textbook parenting, so that children become "unworthy" people
First-class parents with high energy have long taught their children how to interact with people and how to resolve contradictions and disputes. Even if a child is bullied, he will not be entangled in the dignity of face, but will find a way to solve the problem.
Xiao li and Xiao Lan are classmates, and she has also been bullied by the naughty boy. That day Xiaoli was writing homework, and the boy deliberately touched Xiaoli's arm and made a grimace at Xiaoli. But Xiaoli was not angry at all, but after being bullied, she did not cry or make trouble, warning the boy that "your behavior is provocative and will hurt the harmonious relationship between classmates, I hope you are good for yourself." ”
Subsequently, Xiaoli found the teacher and relayed the facts to the teacher. In this way, the boy was punished on the same day and apologized to Xiaoli in public. The two shook hands and made peace, and Xiaoli also forgave him and became good friends with each other.
Later, at the class meeting, the teacher also took this matter out to share with everyone, and Xiaoli also became the new "deputy class leader", who was responsible for managing the discipline of the class, coordinating the relationship between classmates, and becoming a small classmate that others "could not afford".
Xiaoli has such performance and honor, thanks to her mother's daily education of her. In terms of children's civility and politeness, and improving social skills, mothers have long attached great importance to it. Mothers understand that social skills are the embodiment of high emotional intelligence, which is an indispensable ability for children in the future and belongs to survival tools.
Therefore, Xiaoli's mother has helped her children make plans since she was a child, carefully cultivate them, and make efforts in these two aspects:
The first aspect: tell the child to be calm in case of trouble
Mothers often tell their children to be calm when encountering things, even if they are bullied, do not be afraid. When encountering difficult things, we must first think of ways, and if we can use humor to resolve them, we will make big things small, and if we can't, we must seek help from teachers and parents.
The second aspect: read more books when you have time, and strive to improve your social skills
Children's social skills are not strong, which will affect the child's aura and connections. Mothers spend more time with their children reading related books, which can enhance their wisdom.