There is now a common phenomenon in family education, letting children go before the age of 6 and managing children after the age of 6. Before the age of 6, many children are gradually growing up surrounded by the love of their parents and the elderly, and they are reluctant to let their children be wronged and rely on their children for everything. When parents are troubled by these "obstacles" faced by their children in their growth, they ignore an important factor in reflection: whether it is because of our transitional "love" that restricts the future growth of children. I believe everyone has heard a story "Don't be a pupae"
The story is about a person who saw a butterfly pupae, when he found that the butterfly inside was trying to drill out, but the drill had not come out completely for a long time, so he took a pair of scissors to cut the pupa, and finally caused the butterfly to be fat, the wings did not have enough strength, and could no longer fly...
This story tells us that in the process of education, it may be easy to become the pupae. When facing a child, we should think more about whether to let the child grow up on his own, or do we grow up instead of him and let him eventually become a flower in the greenhouse?
Every parent wants their child's life to be easy and carefree, but the reality is not smooth, more difficulties, setbacks and blows come invariably. Over-protecting the child, any difficulty to solve for him is only a temporary good time, do not exercise his life skills, do not cultivate the ability to resist setbacks, the child will be vulnerable and one day will lose to reality.
There is a story with profound meaning that is widely circulated and is very appropriate for educating children. A man found a butterfly pupae with a gap, and the butterfly tried to break free and fly out, but struggled for a long time, and the butterfly did not come out in the end. The man cut the pupa with scissors, and although the butterfly broke free effortlessly, its wings were very thin, and its bloated and fat body seemed very clumsy, and it could not fly normally like other butterflies, but could only squirm on the ground.
In fact, the butterfly struggles with all its strength, which is the process of metamorphosis, so that the liquid in the body squeezes into the wings, making the wings fuller and more powerful, and also preparing for flight. But as soon as the scissors went down, the butterfly lost the opportunity to transform, and although it saved effort, it lost the ability to fly.
Children can transform and grow up through setbacks, in the process of parenting, parents help him solve any difficulties, it seems to be smooth sailing, but in fact, there is less opportunity for tempering. After all, children cannot "fly" full of wings, and they do not have the ability to "fly" freely. Therefore, parents should not be "pupae cutters" and give their children the opportunity to break through the cocoon and become butterflies, which can make him stronger.
Every time I listen to the story of "Don't Cut the Chrysalis," my mind immediately comes to the great educational practitioner: Dr. Montessori once said: If you drink that bowl of soup for your child, then he will never be strong. This sentence speaks to the true meaning of education - education is to assist children to grow, not to replace children's growth. Because in the future, the child will have to rely on his own strength to solve various problems encountered in his own life.
Therefore, in early childhood, we must presuppose what abilities children need to face in the future, and in the current kindergarten teaching, we must cultivate what abilities children have.
In today's society, there are some phenomena that all the things of children are obeyed by their parents and helped by their parents, and parents habitually want to control their children's lives, thinking that this is good for their children. So the adult wins the child, but not the child. A child who grows up in such an environment has too little experience from an early age and too few opportunities to solve problems independently, so he has lost the courage to face problems and the ability to solve problems, so when facing many things, he always withdraws and lacks courage and does not know how to face them.
Now in kindergarten, it is not difficult for us to find that the intuitive reaction of children who encounter a little difficulty is to find a teacher and find parents to solve it for him, resulting in excessive dependence. But these phenomena are rarely seen in Montessori children, because one of the ten characteristics of Montessori education is that it is child-centered and respectful of children. Teachers are required to assist children in gaining their own ability to become independent. This requires us to fully return the right to grow to the child, so that he can participate and experience.
How does Montessori education give back the right to grow to children? What about giving children the opportunity to experience growth independently from the early childhood stage, from the beginning of life, to participate independently and solve the difficulties he encounters in growth? I would like to share two teaching examples in Montessori education:
Case 1: Leave the opportunity to solve problems to your child
In the Montessori classroom, there are also conflicts and disputes between children and children, and should such problems be solved? How to solve it? Does the teacher act as a referee to help solve the problem, or does the child solve it himself? These are the first questions we should consider, so in Montessori education, how do teachers teach children the ability to solve things?
In the Montessori classroom, there is a fixed corner called the peace corner, the peace corner is placed with peace table, peace chair, peace flower, when there is a conflict between children, they will go to the peace table by themselves, pick up the peace flower, solve the problem, who picks up the flower first, who speaks first, what to say? Say their reasons, each child will stand in their own point of view to say their reasons, the other party listens to each other what is saying, from which the two people discuss how to solve, just like this, you say a word, I say a word, unconsciously two people from the fierce quarrel to the peaceful solution, and then continue to operate together, this process is not already teaching the child to solve things?
Any kind of ability of children is obtained in personal experience, growing in experience, and in the Montessori teaching environment, we advocate children, do their own hands, use their own brains, do what they want to do, use their own brains to think about the problems to be solved, and we also firmly believe that children's experience of solving every little thing will become a valuable experience for children. From a young age, he can understand and experience facing problems and resolving problems, and in the future he will face problems, think about problems, and solve problems, so that we can see more courageous, challenging, and capable people in the future society.
Case 2: Give your child the opportunity to challenge himself
The ability to understand a child's true abilities is not in the classroom, not in the family, but in society. Montessori Education attaches great importance to social education, so we organize different themed activities every month, one of which is called "Brave Journey".
In Montessori education, our children will evaluate what abilities children have acquired in the three years of kindergarten on the eve of graduation by their comprehensive quality. Therefore, before the child graduates, the teacher will lead the child to carry out the last activity of their graduation season, "Brave Journey", in this activity, the teacher will set up various links, such as: go to the zoo to find mammals and draw them, sell things to make money, and use the pre-earned purchase items to give to the sanitation workers... When the children have done all their work, they can go to the teacher to get a reminder card for Mom and Dad's location until they find Mom and Dad. In this day, children need to take their own buses, subways, ask for directions; take care of their own diet for the day...
The whole process from the beginning to the end needs the child to use their own ability to complete, in the whole process of completing the task, the child will be accepted and helped by strangers to make the child feel warm, feel the happiness of being helped. They will also feel rejected by strangers, let them experience the feeling of rejection, and make them more aware that only by not being afraid of rejection and having the courage to challenge difficulties can they succeed. The process is to give the child back the opportunity to grow.
The value of learning lies in the cumulative process, what the child lacks is not the ability, what is missing is the opportunity, it is participation, experience, we must create opportunities for the child, let him experience, to feel that I can, I can, when he feels that I can do it, he will more and more want to prove that he can, this inner growth momentum is stronger than the effect of the teacher's preaching.
As Dr. Montessori said, "Children's education is the only way to change the destiny of mankind." "In the process of teaching, only if you think differently and do differently, the results will be different." Children need to change their fate with the help of education, so the various abilities that children pay in the process of growing up are to make themselves grow into an independent person.
THE END
The only thing we adults can do is to assist him, give him a way to let him try on his own, rather than replace him, the child's growth no one can replace, only through its own continuous experience, continuous experience can harvest experience, the more adult substitution, the less opportunity for the child to grow independently, the less confidence, independence and other abilities will be weaker. The rich experience of the child in early childhood was the first "precious treasure" in his life. Please let go and let the child do everything he can, which is the greatest encouragement and recognition for the child