1. The eldest sister-in-law is beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I'm angry

1. The eldest sister-in-law is very beautiful. Divorced today. Move to my house. After dinner in the evening, the eldest sister-in-law wants to take a bath. My wife was afraid that I would peek at my sister-in-law taking a bath and told me to go out and hang out. I said indignantly, Am I that kind of person? Then I went out the door breathlessly. Just after arriving at the door of the community, a strange young woman pulled me aside. The young woman said that she had come here for a tour, and that her mobile phone and wallet had been stolen. Tell me to do well and lend her 50 bucks. She was hungry and wanted to have dinner. I was surprised and said, does it cost 50 yuan for dinner? I'll give you ten bucks, there's a bun shop over there, two bucks for a meat bun, and you can buy five. The young woman nodded and said, ten dollars is fine. 

2. I heard that my ex-girlfriend was getting married and I didn't sleep all night. Then she drove more than a hundred kilometers to her downstairs and slowly smoked a cigarette... It was getting dark, firecrackers were sounding, the convoy arrived, and she was beautiful in her wedding dress that day. When I drove a few kilometers with the welcoming convoy, I received a message from her: Don't send, don't send! Your tricycle is so loud.

3． With the help of friends, finally wrapped up the beauty returned, invited to dinner at night, sitting next door a couple in a quarrel, the reason is that the man accidentally splashed the oil in the pot on the woman's arm, the man has been apologizing, the woman has not let go..... The man was still sticky and apologized, and just when everyone thought he was a good man in the world, the woman came and said: Hum! You just don't care about me, if your wife is burned, are you still like this?

4． Recently, my company's earnings have been booming, I have found the goal, and the big guys have worked together to complete this month's results, and the earnings are much more than previously thought. To reward the employees, I gave one of them a week off. I took my wife and son to Inner Mongolia on a self-driving tour to relax and take a border herder that I raised at home. Looking at the vast grassland, the mood was very good, I untied the rope of the border pasture and said: "It is usually stuffy at home, and I have to let it enjoy the grassland scenery." After a while, BianMu ran without a trace. On the way back, I said with some sadness: "I feel that we are not here for tourism." The wife asked, "Then why did we come?" Me: "Let's release..."

5. I told the nurse: pretending to be my girlfriend once thirty thousand, she agreed, and less than three months later she ran over to me angrily and asked me, how long are you thirty thousand times, it will not be a lifetime. I asked her how long you thought it would be appropriate, and she smiled and said, "As long as you don't want the jewelry your parents gave me back, it will take as long as possible." It feels like it's going to be a long-term plan!

6. There was a buddy who was chased by someone once, and the other party was a girl, very beautiful. The buddies wanted to chase her, and the girl was a cold beauty, saying, "Stop! I'll fix your car, don't think about anything else. So, the two agreed to meet at the auto repair plant the next day. Unexpectedly, the girl brought a middle-aged woman over. The buddy glanced at the woman, the foundation was slightly thicker, the corners of her eyes were raised, and she had done beauty at a glance. Although the gluttony is very young, the actual age should be in the forties. Judging, it was the girl's mother. Dude smiled in his heart, there is! He said to the girl, "What's the matter, I still brought my sister to make a big noise!" The girl glanced at him and said, "This is my mother!" The middle-aged woman said to the buddies: "What kind of eyes do you have?" suddenly smiled like a flower on her face, and asked the buddies: "Is auntie so young?" The buddy said in surprise, "Oh, auntie, I don't mean to disrespect you in the slightest." Seriously, no one can see that you are her mother. "The woman is happier... The brother hit the iron while it was hot, and asked: "Auntie, I dare to ask, were you legally old enough when you gave birth to her?" The woman sneered and said, "The age is a little younger, but it has reached 22." "That middle-aged woman likes buddies, when asked about her profession, she was a doctor, and she said it was good." Ask again, there is no object, the woman is happy, said that my daughter does not have a boyfriend! The buddy left contact information for the aunt. Within a few days, the woman went to the hospital to find her buddies for a physical examination. Half a year later, the buddies got their wish to hug the beauty!

7. I've been with my boyfriend for five years, and he often never kissed my mouth on this piece of wood. At dinner that night, I poured my boyfriend two glasses of white wine, thinking about making him drunk and, and he actually fell asleep. This morning I went to his house to offer my hospitality, made him a cup of warm coffee for him to take to the company to drink, and he was very happy to say that I understand things (I will not tell you, I put salt, pepper, paprika, mustard icon in the coffee... Hmm, I'm doing this to let you know that if you offend a woman, you'll die a miserable death...

8. There is a young woman in our unit, just divorced, called me to accompany her to drink, she wants to borrow wine to dispel her sorrows, a drunken party to rest. I said come to my house, I'll cook a few dishes, buy a few bottles of wine, and get you a good get drunk. I was drinking, her ex-husband came, to take her away, I said, tonight I accompanied your ex-wife to drink and eat vegetables, spent a hundred and twenty dollars, please pay it, right? He snorted, gave me two hundred dollars, and then flew away. Looking at the two hundred dollars that arrived, I smiled, it was really beautiful.

9. The brother-in-law and his sister were engaged and bought a new house in Tomson Yipin, which was 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it? Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs."

10. Today I drove my wife back to my mother's house, and I talked to my husband about divorce at the dinner table. I said, "I heard that the divorce process is more complicated than before, and it is difficult to handle." The old man: "Really?" It's harder to get a divorce later! Then the old man said: "If you really want to leave, then no matter how complicated it is, don't be afraid..." Suddenly, I felt that the back was suddenly cold, and when I looked back, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law were standing in the back with brushes, staring viciously at our # annual funny famous scene #