Often parents will say that if only their children listened to me. Do you want to know the secrets
We often say that if children only listen to me, it is fine, every child is willing to please others, then why don't they listen to you? There are three reasons that cannot be ignored.
First, the way to meet the needs is not appropriate. Usually when faced with a child's unreasonable trouble, our first reaction is not to think about his real needs, but to feel that he is very annoyed, to accuse and threaten him, or to keep saying that some children have listened to the truth countless times.
While these are natural, well-intentioned responses, they are the biggest obstacle to solving the problem. When criticized, we usually defend ourselves. The child also feels threatened by the outside world, so he will fight back. In other words, the child's irrational behavior is just that they are meeting their own needs in an inappropriate way. If you can understand this, you can teach them to express their needs in an appropriate way.
Second, there is a conflict in the habits of daily life. Why get dressed and go out? Why fold a quilt after waking up early? If it is not folded, wouldn't it be better to go directly into the bed when sleeping? We take it for granted that children don't necessarily take it for granted because it's not in keeping with their nature. No matter how convincing your reasons are, the daily habits of parents and children are different, and this can easily lead to conflict. Children are born without doing homework.
It is their nature to do whatever they want. This usually brings us endless troubles, but the child will eventually integrate into this society. Therefore, they must learn to behave appropriately. Children who have generally experienced the degree have more control than easy-going children, and they prefer to do things according to their own ideas. This is often thought to be caused by the child's rebellion or disobedience. In fact, this is only because the daily habits and thinking of adults and children are different.
Third, pay too much attention to the child's wrong behavior. If the child cries, we will run right over and the child will know that shouting will solve the problem. Of course, this does not mean that we ignore the crying of our children, because we overreact to a small thing, which is actually depriving the child of hands-on ability. Because they're told they can't handle problems independently without your help, they should pay less attention to wrong behavior.
Or when the child is frustrated, it is more useful to take a more euphemistic way of coping, and at the same time pay more attention to the child's correct behavior, which will help the child persevere and completely ignore the wrong behavior, which is not a good method. Because in the process of doing bad things in children, you can taste a lot of fun, ignoring the child's bad behavior does not make them correct.