I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
Wen | has a small bell pepper (the original is not easy, please do not copy, welcome to personal reprint and share)
Figure| source network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
Ever heard of being short, have you ever heard of being tall?
I have a sister who really dislikes her height, she is 174cm tall, and she wears ultra-thin shoes that can be ignored every day, so she often dislikes her height.
When the mood is not good, he will lose his temper with his mother and say, "It's just right to chop it down!" ”
And when she is in a bad mood, it is usually when the blind date is rejected.
In fact, when she was in a good mood, she also knew that blind dates were rejected not because of height, because before the age of 28, she usually rejected others, and after the age of 28, there were more people who rejected her, and it was probably a reason - you are too tall.
She has always been so tall, so tall when she was 18 years old, she was not disliked for her height when she was young, how can she be more and more disliked in height when she is older?
Of course, it is not that the height is relatively high, but mainly the problem of age.
However, this sister has now found her crush, gave birth to two babies, and has never abandoned her height again.
The 166cm girl wants to have her bones amputated, saying that she is not social
A doctor in Beijing received such a special patient.
The girl went in and said she wanted to have her bones amputated because she was so tall that she felt she didn't fit in.
The doctor looked at the film and asked the girl, "How tall are you?" ”
The girl said, "I'm 166." ”
The doctor was surprised to hear it, think 166cm is too high?
The doctor asked her how tall she thought it was appropriate.
The girl said: "159cm is just right, the people around me are relatively short, they are too tall to fit in." ”
The doctor's reply was, "It's okay to look for something." ”
This girl's figure is very perfect, isn't 166cm the perfect height that girls pursue?
It was too high to be here, to amputate the bones!
No wonder some netizens said: she should not see an orthopedic doctor, she should see a psychologist.
Some netizens mentioned the core problem: not because you are too tall to look up to you, but because he can't look at you as a person!
The netizen's words are still in a word, can make a girl feel that she is not social, must not be a girlfriend, probably rejected by the intended person, may be the other party said a sentence "like 159cm birds according to people girls", this girl will be stupid to run to the doctor to have a bone amputated.
If it weren't for this reason, I really couldn't think of any other reason for a 166cm girl to think of having a bone amputated to achieve the purpose of sociality.
Girls should have their own opinions
Girls must have their own opinions, in all aspects must have their own opinions, especially in love, must not be led by the nose, otherwise this girl is passive everywhere, life will become very passive.
Remember the girl with the surname Bao at Peking University? A minister of literature and art, with a good education, a good character, a good talent, but in the end he was passive everywhere, forced to a dead end by his boyfriend, and ended his vivid and beautiful life.
Since being with her boyfriend, this girl has lost herself, it turned out that she was confident and optimistic and cheerful, but then she was constantly pua by her boyfriend, and began to self-doubt, and the source of all this was because she was no longer "cn" will be passive everywhere, and even forced by her boyfriend to cut off "slg", constantly being mentally controlled by her boyfriend.
And this has become a fundamental reason for her to go to the end of the road.
Girls should have their own opinions, "women are pleasing to themselves" is the thinking of women in the feudal era, and we should no longer have such decadent ideas in this open era, this era of women's independence and self-reliance.
Girls should dress themselves up for pleasure, control their own direction in front of the opposite sex, will not be in a passive situation, in love and marriage can also maintain independence, which is the most basic concept.
How to make a girl an opinionated person?
Is the girl's personality and opinion innate, or is it related to the acquired environment?
Genes certainly affect personality, but they don't determine personality, and the environment and family education and parental guidance still dominate the reasons.
If the girl grows up, the mother ignores this education, does not set a good example for the daughter, is passive everywhere in life, completely man-centered, and the relationship between the father and the mother is not equal, then such a family relationship is easy to have a negative impact on the child.
In addition, if there is no sound family relationship, parents divorced, girls have been living with their mothers, mothers ignore the education and guidance of their daughters, girls may also be dependent on the opposite sex, because of her deep insecurity, especially the desire for father's love, she will confuse the father's love with the boyfriend's love, and then passive everywhere in the relationship.
To make a child an assertive person, we can start from the following aspects:
1. Do your own thing
In the process of growing up, the more parents interfere, the worse the child's independence and the less assertive they are.
In fact, parents who come over can carefully recall that in the process of children's growth, parents have many moments of unconsciously helping children, thinking that the clothes she chooses are not good, afraid that he will not be able to do his own things, afraid that he will engage in destruction...
It is this kind of worry of parents that will make them unconsciously restrict their children, deprive them of their own opinions, and affect their children's independence.
2. Ask your child's opinions and respect your child's choices
In the process of growing up, ask the child's opinion more and respect the child's personal choices.
In the inadvertent actions of parents, children will become more and more assertive.
When children's opinions are respected, their good sense of self will make them more and more able to insist on themselves and not be swayed by others.
3. Tell your child a story
In addition to giving children enough independent space, it is also necessary to give children full guidance so that children can understand the good intentions of parents.
We can tell children through picture books or story books, or adapt our summed up experience into small stories to tell children, so that children understand what is right and what is wrong, when children have such a basic discriminating psychology, they will not be swayed by some people's thoughts or behaviors, and they can maintain their own opinions.
4. Set a good example for your child
In addition, the role model of parents cannot be ignored.
In particular, the relationship between parents has a direct impact on girls' future attitudes towards feelings and marriage.
Father loves mother, mother respects father, in the family environment, mother is independent and self-reliant, has a certain family status, these will become an important factor affecting children.
5. Provide a warm growth environment for children
A warm family environment is too important for children to form a sound personality.
In a warm and safe family environment, children can grow up without pressure, can freely release their nature, and can fully release their nature, which is a key part of the child's personality shaping.
Parents try to maintain a harmonious communication rhythm and provide a warm family environment for their children, and children will grow up healthily in this environment.