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As the saying goes, "One monk carries water to drink, two monks carry water to drink, and three monks have no water to drink." ”
When parents are too old to walk, and need their children to share alimony and take care of them full-time, the contradiction between brothers and sisters becomes more and more obvious, and no one is willing to bear the main responsibility for maintenance. There are relatively few people who can "single out the beams".
After the death of his parents, the contradiction reached a hot point, and the brotherhood disappeared.
Looking at the blood relatives, slowly estranged, it is inevitable that the heart will be painful, and it is also due to the parenting grace of the parents.
How to resolve grievances? The following methods are recommended.
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First, don't be discouraged and actively seek opportunities for reconciliation.
Couples do not have overnight feuds, because love and responsibility have always been there.
Brothers and sisters can have a long-term vendetta, because the parents will not care, and the bloodline has been "separated".
If you can treat your lover like you do, think of old feelings and shoulder responsibilities, then family affection will exist for a long time, and there will be no contradictions that cannot be resolved.
The ancients said, "The eldest brother is the father." ”
A good extended family, the elder brothers will come forward to mediate the relationship between brothers and sisters, and take on the responsibility of the "protagonist" of the New Year's Festival and the gathering together. If the eldest brother is not willing to sing the protagonist, then in the family, you can elect a person with good moral ability as the "main heart bone".
In fact, many brothers and sisters usually do not interact, but they will still get together at the birthday party of the elders, the wedding banquet of the younger generation, the promotion banquet, etc. At this time, everyone sits together and talks about home, and the contradiction will definitely gradually ease.
If you can speak with a thick skin, although "inferior", it seems noble and is also the proper meaning of being a person.
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Second, don't turn over old accounts and learn to look forward.
My third uncle has always had a bad relationship with his brothers and sisters.
After he retired, he went back to worship his ancestors and saw his second uncle lying on the bed, so poor that he couldn't even afford a wheelchair. At that moment, the second uncle cried, and really did not expect that the brother who had once quarreled with him would end up so desolate.
Since then, the third uncle will visit the second uncle every month, and he also brought gifts and gave him a wheelchair.
Man, the older you get, the fewer relatives you have around you. Loved ones who can live are precious. What is the past grudge compared to the love of blood?
After the brothers and sisters have a vendetta, you think about it, in another ten years, what will everyone look like? Do you have to fall back to the roots and walk with each other' support?
Hatred is a moment and a half of resentment, a calculation of money, let go of these two things, everything will be better. Usually, the more powerful the face turn, the more difficult it is to put down the face in the future. Think about the long term, and there will be less hatred.
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Third, with the help of external forces, ask the elders to mediate.
On the day my third grandfather passed away, the children made a lot of noise and overturned the table.
The eldest son of the third grandfather quietly occupied the house of the extended family for himself. This incident is the focus of contradictions.
In order to deal with the aftermath, the third grandfather's relatives came to the scene.
He said meaningfully: "The old man's bones are not cold, and the brothers are arguing endlessly. Will show jokes to outsiders. Besides, a house in the countryside is not worth a few dollars. The eldest has been a farmer all his life and wants a house, which is understandable. Other people have settled in the city, and some people have also set up factories, coveting the little things in the countryside, that is, 'gambling'. If you really want to come to the countryside to live, I am afraid that you will not be willing to do it. The boss's approach is not appropriate, apologize, everyone nods, isn't it..."
A few big words of truth, let the hatred between the brothers, instantly dissolved.
Look at your children, see any toy to buy, buy it back, play for two days and then discard it and turn it into garbage. Isn't it also "the psychology of children" that adults argue about things? It's really childish.
As "outsiders", it is necessary for elders to see the contradictions clearly and ask them to mediate.
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Fourth, one generation after another, don't stop the younger generations from interacting.
My mother and my fourth uncle hadn't been in a relationship for years, and they wouldn't even make a phone call.
One year during the Spring Festival, the daughter-in-law of the fourth uncle came to my house to pay respects to the New Year and took two hundred yuan in red envelopes to my mother.
The mother said that the two families had already formed a vendetta, what red envelopes were they taking?
The daughter-in-law of the fourth uncle smiled and said, "Aunt, you will see the outside." I am a junior, how can I inherit the hatred of my parents? ”
On that day, my mother's heart must have been full of mixed feelings. They are all old, and they are not as enlightened as a young man. After that, the mother took the initiative to make a phone call to greet the fourth uncle, and the health was good, and the grudge ended.
It is advisable to settle the knot. "Generational enmity" is really not necessary.
If you don't stop your children from visiting relatives and friends, over time, people in the extended family will move around each other more often.
Through the interaction and exchange of juniors, it is also possible to awaken the blood and kinship of brothers and sisters.
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Conclusion.
More than a decade ago, in rural Henan, there was a boy named Hong Zhanhui.
His father was mad, his mother was running away, and he had to go to school and work while feeding his young sister.
In order to beg for food for his sister, he cheekily begged the villagers to give him an egg and a little rice noodles. He then helps others with housework.
He went to town to wholesale popsicles, then went to the village to sell them. No matter how far he walked, how thirsty he was, he wouldn't eat a popsicle. Poverty forced him to grow up quickly.
The Book of the Fall of the Prince reads: "Whoever falls upon any human calamity must be endured and endured—as long as he does not die." ”
This sentence inspired Hong Zhanhui to continue to move forward and ushered in the light of the family.
Now, Hong Zhanhui and his sister have become teachers and live a good life.
We must always take a happy family as an example, believing that love can resolve all contradictions and cope with all difficulties. Family property, parents' savings, how much it costs to study... What does it mean to be "love"?
When you look back and see how many roads you have traveled and how much suffering you have suffered, you know that the person who gets the least from the big family is the most proud.
Man, that is, a lifetime, when you are very old, you can still go to the brothers and sisters' houses, eat a meal, and talk about the sweet and sour of childhood, which is also a blessing.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.