Author | Inspector (1363 words, about 4 minutes to read)
With the gradual adjustment of the state in terms of fertility, many families have already joined a new member.
After the introduction of the two-child policy to the three-child policy, there was also an oil poem on the Internet, which caused widespread discussion:
"My mother was born to raise my grandmother, and my grandparents came to appreciate it."
Looking closely at life, it is not difficult to find that there are still many grandmothers and grandfathers with children, which has almost become a common phenomenon, but the four elderly people in the family, who is closest to the grandchildren?
★ Different families give different views
Bao Mom @ Kiki: I let my mother-in-law come to take the child, my mother is not in good health, if you let her bring it, she should not sleep well, pull the child hard and hard, and finally let the mother-in-law enjoy the joy of heaven, with what?
Bao Ma @ Ke Jia: My mother has been helping me with the child, although we will argue a few words, but the next day will be reconciled, if it is the mother-in-law, it is definitely time to take revenge. And I feel that my mother hurts the child more than the mother-in-law, maybe the mother-in-law has not lived with the child for a long time, and the feelings are not too deep.
Many people will think that the surname of the child and the grandmother's family will still be the most dear to the child after growing up, but in fact, whether the child is close or not depends on how the child's parents handle the relationship between relatives.
For the children's mothers, the child's grandmother is more able to experience the hardships and difficulties of being a mother, after all, she is her own daughter-in-law, and the mother's will definitely hurt the girl. Therefore, when taking care of children, they will also take care of children and daughters more carefully.
★ From a scientific point of view, Grandma is actually the best person to bring up children
From a large number of data survey reports, the proportion of families with children by their own parents accounts for 27% of the country, while the grandparents of children raise children account for only 14%. More than half of the families are raised by the children's grandparents, and this trend has gradually become a common phenomenon.
Whenever you encounter "Grandma and Grandma who loves you more?" "Such a problem will make the child caught in the middle of the dilemma, but according to the scientific ranking, from high to low ranking, it should be grandma, grandma, grandpa and finally grandpa."
From a psychological point of view, this is actually just a hypothesis of the uncertainty of the paternity relationship
It is mainly assumed that the parents of the woman's parents consider the children born by their daughters to be their own, so they are closest to the children. But if this hypothesis is applied to the child's grandparents and grandparents, it is likely not to hold.
Therefore, there will also be some grandparents who have a certain distance from their grandchildren.
Some grandmothers have a patriarchal mentality
The elderly often have some traditional ideas and want to pass on their families, so if there is an older generation that emphasizes the idea of male over female, then the grandchildren may be treated well, but the granddaughters will be alienated and snubbed.
In such an environment, children can not enjoy warm and fair treatment at all, which is not a harm to children?
For grandma, the boys and girls born to their daughters are their own offspring, all are the children of their daughters, so they are often treated equally by the younger generations, and they are more close to their grandchildren.
Everything is not "absolute"
For children, the critical period when they form a safe period is the key to cultivating feelings between the parent and the child.
Before the age of three, that is, the stage when the child establishes a safe period, if there is a person who can be very attentive to the child, then he can easily gain the child's trust. And this trust, that is, a process of emotional relationship building, once this trust is established, it is very easy to form a closer relationship.
Spicy Mom Quotes:
This also tells us to a certain extent that no matter which member of the family takes care of the child, the key is not their identity and role, but whether they have such a heart to take care of the child, truly love the child, and whether they are willing to have a certain dedication to taking care of the child.
I believe that as long as you are sincerely good to your child, whether or not you are involved in the process of raising your child, when your child grows up, they will have their own judgment.
Parents, which of your children's relationships is closest?
(Image from the Internet)