Text/BeiShu Source: Beishu Youyue (beishu2016)
See a sentence on the Internet:
Women look at men, most of the time they will look away, at first think it is Prince Charming, and finally find out that it is a white-eyed toad.
Words are not heard, but they are used.
After all, emotions are easy to change, people's hearts are difficult to sell, and no matter how beautiful the fantasy is, it cannot withstand the cruel reality.
Therefore, to be a smart woman, you must quit this fantasy about men from the bottom of your heart.
-01-
He will change himself for me
Women tend to be more naïve than men, always hoping that men will change themselves for her.
As everyone knows, the country is easy to change, and the nature is difficult to move. The essence of a person's bones is really difficult to change.
A man may cover up some behaviors that you don't want to see because he loves you, but over time, his bound nature will inevitably appear before your eyes.
Hegel once said, "The secret to a long-term relationship with a loved one is to give up the idea of changing the object." ”
Because it's really hard to change a person, what you meet him at the beginning is often ended up like this.
I once saw a question:
What is the mindset when a woman asks "your stink can't be changed"?
There is a thought-provoking answer:
If you want to turn him into what you want him to be, then there's as much harm as there are expectations.
Demanding a man will change for you, which is the highest expectation a woman has of a man, but at the same time it will become the deepest disappointment of a woman.
A smart woman never craves a man to change himself for her.
Because she knows that the man in front of her who has many problems and makes her dissatisfied is not the ideal person, but the real lover she chose.
Learning to tolerate him and accept his imperfections is the best way.
-02-
He will give me happiness for the rest of my life
If you ask a woman: When do you feel like your happiest moment?
I believe most women will think it is at a wedding.
Because on that solemn and grand occasion, the man she loved affectionately promised to give her a lifetime of happiness.
However, falling in love is easy to get along with.
In life, how many people who love each other have survived the bumpy days together, but have not survived the ordinary years.
When they take off their wedding dresses and tuxedoes, the men and women who enter the marriage, in the face of the trivialities of life with chai rice, oil, salt, and triviality, they gradually lose their previous tenderness and patience and become abominable.
I once read a very heartfelt sentence:
I chose you desperately for love, thinking that after marriage, you would shield me from the wind and rain and give me happiness, but I did not expect that all my unhappiness came from you.
When men break their commitments with their actions, many women will only blindly chagrin, cry and endlessly accuse, eventually exhausting each other's patience and making the little love that remains disappear.
But smart women understand that they are their only dependence, and happiness is not given by men, but by themselves.
So they never put their happiness chips on men, but enrich themselves through continuous learning, making themselves gentle and strong.
Loving life, taking care of the family, and not snubbing yourself, this is the true happiness of a woman.
-03-
He will always love me
Wang Xiaobo said in "Loving You Like Loving Life": If you are willing, I will always love you, and if you are unwilling, I will always miss each other.
This is the most beautiful and numb love story I have ever seen.
But love words still depend on who said, when you meet some men, sometimes you can only listen to them, if you fall into it, the ultimate victim is still yourself.
I have a distant relative named Mei Mei, who fell in love with a man she met on a trip, who was in Shanghai and she was in Hubei.
After the short trip, the long distance did not prevent the couple from transmitting their thoughts about each other.
They talk to each other over the phone and on the screen, and there are always endless sweet words.
Finally, unable to stand the pain of lovesickness in a different place, Mei Mei decided to quit the stable job in her hometown and go to the man's city with full of love to live with him.
At that time at the station, the photo she posted in the circle of friends is still fresh in my memory, and I can see that her face is full of happiness, and I thought that she would always love to enter the palace of marriage.
However, the reality is as bloody as in the TV series.
A year later, Mei Mei returned to Hubei alone, saying she did not want to stay in that city any longer because there were men there who made her sad.
"I thought he would love me forever, but I didn't expect to be together for only a year and we wouldn't have a common topic. He grew impatient with me, and he became more and more irritable, and I didn't feel the slightest bit of love. ”
Why is it that when the distance is far away, the love of two people can be close, but when the distance is closer, the two hearts become farther?
It is certainly not distance that is fickle, but men.
Paul. Coelho tells us that love is always there, and it is only men who change.
Smart women understand that in this world, the only person who can always be loyal to you is yourself.
Therefore, the wisest choice is: instead of bending down and waiting for the man's pity, it is better to take good care of yourself and let your woman's flower bloom more and more gorgeous.
-04-
I remember that Hu Yinmeng once sighed in "The Inconceivable of Life":
"To maintain an emotion, the less you expect, the better, and if you don't have any expectations, you can love unconditionally, but I must admit that when I was young, my expectations of humanity were probably too high." 」
It is normal for people to have expectations for people who are close to each other, but unrealistically high expectations will only hurt others and hurt themselves, and the gains will not be worth the losses. ”
I strongly agree with that.
The higher the expectations, the more reverie, the more unrealistic fantasies.
People get along with each other, everything is normal, the heart is good; love and affection are kept together, plain and true is the longest.
Finally, may you be a smart woman, throw away your fantasies, and live in the moment; and may you be treated tenderly by the years and live your life as you want.
A hundred years of life, no injury.
- END -
*Image source: petal net, sugar net
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