"Don't work, I'll raise you."
This sentence is a very beautiful love sentence for many women.
For Xiao C, this is a hard requirement for her husband.
Her parents preferred sons to daughters, and she was indoctrinated from an early age that "girls can learn as they please, and finding a good man to marry is the right way", "it is better to do well than to marry well", and "girls should choose their families".
Although there was reluctance in her heart, considering that her husband had a good income and promised to be good to her, she resigned and became a full-time wife after marriage. But what makes her feel aggrieved is that her husband does not let her go out to socialize, does not let her develop her own interests and hobbies, and always accuses her of not doing housework.
She has no friends in life and can't find any fun, so she has to ignore herself, and even suppress her own needs, putting all her thoughts on her husband.
Unexpectedly, she paid so much, tolerated and retreated to her husband everywhere, and endured all kinds of psychological suffering, and in the end it was her husband's betrayal - her husband cheated on the female subordinates of the company and asked to divorce her.
Little C was shocked and hard to accept.
After the divorce, she fell into endless self-doubt, lost self-confidence, and thought that she was not good enough that her husband cheated and wanted to divorce her. Coupled with several years away from the workplace and frequent failures to find a job, she felt that her life had no meaning and wanted to commit suicide many times.
Fortunately, with the company of a psychological counselor, she slowly got out of the pain of divorce, saw her advantages, and found a suitable job.
Under the guidance of the counselor, she began to reflect: For a long time, she has been a good wife and mother who revolves around her husband according to the stereotypical role settings of her parents and society, right?
After listening to her deepest needs and desires, she began to learn to love herself, discover her pursuits and dreams, and invest in herself. The awakening of self brought her into an unprecedented atmosphere, filled her with confidence and charm, and gained equal and respectful love.
She could never have imagined that she could turn around enchantingly and complete the sublimation from a hysterical unmarried woman to a self-awakened modern new woman.
Many people say, "I raise you", which is the most poisonous love word.
There are also many people who say, "I raise you", which is prejudice and discrimination.
But in fact, we can choose to take it as a helplessness, or we can just take it as love words and put the choice in our own hands.
More than a hundred years ago, women were not as lucky as they are today, they did not have the right to choose, even in the developed countries we think.
In Kate Chopin's novel The Awakening, the story is set in what was then Louisiana, where women were the legal property of their husbands, where the faith was predominantly Catholic, the divorce rate was very low, and women were expected to be faithful and submissive to their husbands.
In the six years since her marriage, the heroine Elena has been performing religious ceremonies, constantly repeating boring rules, meeting guests, greeting, making friends, and playing the role of good helper.
In the text, the husband blames his wife Elena for going out swimming on a hot day and being tanned, and he "stares at his wife as if he were seeing one of his beloved possessions destroyed." At that time, women were regarded as the "property" attached to men, and even beauty became property, let alone self.
This kind of life gave Elena an unspeakable sense of oppression, which grew from the unscratchable place in her consciousness. She often wept silently, but didn't know why.
Later, she no longer wanted to pretend to be a good wife and mother, and began a series of difficult struggles in order to pursue herself. This process made her more and more powerless, and in order to break free from slavery and seek the liberation of her soul, she finally chose to die. Her death, though somewhat extreme, is symbolic: she breaks free from the shackles of her character and achieves self-awakening.
Today, women are no longer the women who promised and accepted the rule of all words a hundred years ago, many women can think, refute it, and can also make their own choices and find their own unique value.
We know that everyone has the right and freedom to pursue themselves, and they don't need bystanders to judge each other, bind each other under the guise of social roles, or label women.
Whether she is a good wife and mother, a husband and a godson, or a hard work in the workplace, everything she does is for herself, so that she can live her personality, become a real, happy and complete woman, and let herself have a happy and beautiful home. Of course, this "she" will also love her "he" well.
However, society still seems to give women too high expectations and pressure in disguise, as Yao Chen emphasized in his speech:
In this era, women are very demanding.
If you choose to be a professional woman, some people will say that you are a bad mother regardless of your family.
If you choose to become a full-time mother, some people will say that having children is a woman's duty.
There are also many women, because of the patriarchal thinking, in the process of growing up too unfair, which has a huge and even fatal impact on their life direction and psychology.
Female awakening, obstruction and long.
This is not only an awakening of individual rights, but also an awareness of the plight of women as a community, and a common force of action.
May all women break through the shackles of fate and have the courage to live for themselves once.