As the saying goes: "The world's divine machine has no way, and wisdom is mistaken by wisdom." ”
The world feels that they are clever and calculating, trying their best to find shortcuts, not paying attention, but falling into a desperate situation and self-defeating.
In fact, there are no shortcuts in life, only traps at the end of the shortcuts.
Zeng Guofan once sighed: "The world is clumsy, and it can overcome the world's cleverness." ”
In life, some of the money that should be spent cannot be saved at all; some efforts that should be made cannot be less at all.
For the rest of your life, remember that no matter how poor you are, don't take these four shortcuts, and get poorer and poorer.
01
If you can solve the problem with money, don't use human feelings
Friend Afan, due to the renovation of the new house, there is still a month to move in, and now the rented house, the main owner of the emergency recovery.
So he had to look for a new listing. In a hurry, he suddenly remembered his cousin's house, where a house was idle. If you can borrow, you can not only solve the urgent need, but also save rent, killing two birds with one stone.
Thinking of this, he called his cousin to inquire. When the cousin understood his predicament, she readily agreed.
Soon, a month passed and he moved back into his new home.
Before leaving, while thanking his cousin, he promised: "If there is anything that needs help in the future, just open your mouth." ”
Soon after, my cousin needed help and came as scheduled: "I remember that you are a designer, the house in my hometown is preparing to be renovated, you help me design a plan." ”
Ah Fan knew that the time had come to return human feelings, and it was naturally difficult to shirk it.
At first he thought it was just a matter of designing a drawing.
Who ever thought that the drawing is just a beginning, from the decoration style and structural layout to the selection of floors and wallpaper, no matter how big or small, Afan alone, undertook the work of a team.
One weekend, he was at his cousin's house to guide the water and electricity, at this time, the plan he was responsible for planning, there was a flaw, he needed to deal with it urgently, but he could not be present at the time, the customer was angry, and even complained to Afan.
In this way, in order to repay the human feelings, Ah Fan spent time, energy, and lost performance, which was beyond his one-month rent, which made him regret it endlessly.
I thought I saved the rent, but because of the small loss, I also got into trouble, which can be said to be more than worth the loss.
There is a saying that goes: "Human feelings seem to be free, but they are actually the most expensive." ”
At the beginning, you ate the dividends of human feelings, and now you have to bear the demands of human feelings.
There is no such thing as a free lunch, and all the free stuff is secretly marked with a price.
Therefore, all people who are transparent are well aware of this truth: the problems that can be solved with money are never used.
02
If you can exchange courtesies, don't take advantage
Mei Mei and Xiao Guo, who have been classmates for many years, because of their similar temperaments, they often move around, and the relationship between the two is as close as sisters.
Mei Mei's husband, due to work reasons, has been away all year round, so she usually takes care of the children alone.
For a while, the company sent her on a business trip, and just when she was worried about how to place her children, Xiaoguo appeared like rain in time and took the initiative to take on the errand of picking up and dropping off her children.
In order not to let his friends have a psychological burden, Xiao Guo also said with relief: "My children are also going to school here, it is not troublesome at all, just a matter of convenience." ”
For this, Mei Mei was very grateful, returned from a business trip, and specially bought some local souvenirs and gave them to Xiaoguo.
Xiao Guo gladly accepted, she knew that this was the gift of friendship and emotional bonding between them.
Soon after, Mei Mei heard that XiaoGuo's mother was ill, and she immediately bought a lot of condolences and came to visit her.
Seeing Mei Mei who rushed to the scene, Xiao Guo's heart was full of emotions, and she thought that Mei Mei often traveled long distances on business, so she bought a gas card to send.
The friendship between the two, like a sapling, thrives under the nourishment of this back and forth.
I like a sentence: "All feelings in the world are mutual, and paying and reaping is the best maintenance of a relationship." ”
There are friends who come and go; only by paying each other can there be friendship.
In the Book of Poetry, it is said: "Cast me a peach, and repay it with a lee." ”
You send me flowers, I give you wine, so that the truth can last a long time.
Between friends, what they care about is mutual understanding, and what they look forward to is each other's sincerity.
03
If you can talk calmly, don't lift the bar
I once saw one such post on Zhihu.
A High-achieving Fudan student, after graduation, he worked in a multinational company, with high-motivated work and outstanding ability.
But what is puzzling is that it has been four years of work and has not been reused and promoted.
In the final analysis, it was found that he was always arrogant and arrogant, and he was humble and inferior in speech.
For example, once, the leader assigned him an important project and repeatedly asked him to talk about the project.
Before he could talk about the project, he said to the client mercilessly:
"General Manager Li, in your circle of friends, the news forwarded is fake, the Internet has debunked the rumors, you quickly delete it, it is a bit humiliating."
In an instant, the customer was sullen and the scene was very embarrassing.
The client hasn't worked with him since.
Coincidentally, when a colleague wears new clothes and shows it to everyone with great interest, he will also directly pour a basin of cold water:
"You don't wear this dress properly, it's too ugly, so change it."
The spark that bloomed in the heart of the colleague was instantly extinguished. After that, the colleague also tried to avoid communicating with him.
This highly qualified student, in his work, likes to show himself; in conversation, he likes words to win people.
Gradually, colleagues turned away from him, the boss did not dare to entrust him with heavy responsibilities, and his professional life was a mess.
There are always some people in life who are keen to use words to suppress others and elevate themselves in identity, but they often backfire.
Sharp teeth and sharp teeth, what you get is only a momentary highlight; what you lose is a long-term good feeling.
There is a saying in the "Cai Gen Tan", "Let one step be high in the world, and regression is the root of progress; treating others with a generous point is a blessing, and benefiting others is the foundation of self-interest."
If you can talk calmly, don't lift the bar, only in this way can the road get wider and wider.
04
If you can work the ground, don't take shortcuts
Such a story is recorded in the New Book of Tang. In the Tang Dynasty, there was a man named Lu Zangyong, who was admitted to the Jinshi but was not assigned to an official position. So he began to use his crooked mind and use seclusion to try to attract the emperor's attention.
When the emperor was in Chang'an, he lived in the nearby Zhongnan Mountain; when the emperor moved to Luoyang, he followed him to song mountain to live in seclusion.
Lu Zang used this trick very cleverly, when the empress Wu Zetian heard that there was actually a jinshi in this dynasty who was living in seclusion, he quickly ordered someone to invite him out of the mountain and gave him a position of zuo shiyi.
Although Zuo Shiyi was only a bapin official, he was a hot position, because he was working next to Tianzi and was easy to promote. Sure enough, Lu Zang was able to become an official waiter within a few years.
Lu Zang became an official as he wished, but exposed his personality defects. When he was a servant of the bureaucracy, he had no choice but to betray his conscience in the face of all kinds of powerful people running for official positions. The history books accuse him of being "devious, specializing in the powerful, and extravagant and indulgent."
Later, Tang Xuanzong exiled him to remote Guangdong on the grounds that he was once the male favorite of Princess Taiping, and even the late festival was not guaranteed.
Sometimes, we think that a shortcut can shorten the distance, but we don't think that it is the shortcut that creates the distance.
I remember that there was a heartfelt question on Zhihu: "When people reach middle age, why do you still achieve nothing?" ”
One of them replied, "The reason you haven't achieved anything is because you're always looking for shortcuts." And just forget that the most powerful thing in the world is the seemingly stupid effort day after day. ”
In a word, those great things have never won by trickery, but by being down-to-earth and accumulating over time.
The accumulation of trickles of water converges into the sea; the fortification of bricks and tiles is cast into a tall building.
05
Confucius said, "There is no desire for speed, and there is no small profit." If you want to be fast, you can't achieve it, and if you see small profits, you can't achieve big things. ”
Even if the front is full of confusion and the reality is cruel, the upward road should also be steady progress, not humble and unassuming, and do things in a correct manner.
Problems that can be solved with money, do not overdraft human feelings;
If you can exchange courtesies, don't take advantage of small things;
If you can talk calmly, don't say better than words;
If you can work the ground, don't seek shortcuts.
For the rest of our lives, may we all be transparent people, not to take advantage of, not to take advantage, not to be clever, and to be diligent and earnest.