I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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When going out with the baby, I am often asked such a question: When do you plan to have a second child?
My first reaction was: no, no, one is enough.
This is the truth, it feels like a baby has spent most of his energy, it is hard to get out of the head, the baby is about to go to school, and then want the baby, but also start all over again.
Many friends around me have such a mentality.
In fact, in our country, there is basically no one with three or four babies, but also to maintain an elegance and maintain a high level of quality of life.
There are many babies in the family, usually two status quo
At present, in our country, there are more than 3 babies in the family, including 3, which is already a large family, and most of the families want a baby or 2 babies.
There are 2 babies in the family, the basic appearance of the family is "unbearable", everywhere let the babies make a mess, there are very few families in the premise of not needing a nanny, can maintain a better order of life.
And for those "multi-population" families, not to mention.
If it is a wealthy family with the help of a nanny and a childcare sister-in-law, the family can maintain a better state, and the mother does not worry about taking care of the children.
In another case, in remote rural areas, some couples continue to have children for various reasons, and the children's basic life is not satisfied, let alone improve the quality of life.
Why are some foreign mothers able to take care of several children alone and be organized
When it comes to competent mothers, the first thing that comes to mind is Japanese mothers.
Japan's fertility rate is very low, there are many young people who are unmarried and infertile, but there is still a group of people in Japan who like to have children, and it is not uncommon to have five or six children before and after, or even eight or nine children.
Living area is limited, living conditions are limited, raising so many children, all rely on the mother to take care of, can you be busy?
However, under the strong time management and skillful life skills of Japanese mothers, it is more than enough to take care of a few children and have time to take care of their own interests.
In addition to the japanese mother so capable, in European and American families, five or six children are more common.
Without the help of a nanny, the mothers are also able to maintain their family life in a relatively good state.
The same is the mother, why can these foreign mothers take care of several children, and can take care of the children?
In fact, whether it is domestic or foreign, mothers are ordinary people, not superhuman, and taking care of several children at the same time must not be easy.
The state that mothers eventually show when they take care of their children is related to their mothers' mentality and family conditions.
If you want to take good care of the baby, first of all, the basic conditions of the family must be met, otherwise no matter how strong the mother is, it will be futile in the end, and the basic material conditions cannot be satisfied.
Secondly, it depends on the psychological endurance of the mother, the mother's heart should be large, give the child the space to grow independently, can not always have all kinds of worries, and finally do not do anything well, can only look at the child with his eyes, in order to rest assured.
Finally, a person taking care of several children is mental labor, not physical labor, and doing things in an orderly manner is the key to ensuring family order.
Be a planned "big hearted" mom
After the baby is born, mothers have all kinds of worries, especially those who become mothers for the first time, they can't help but have all kinds of worries.
I am afraid that if I don't take care of it well, my baby will be hurt.
It is precisely because of this psychological state that the mother is easily in a nervous mood, and everything is worried, and it will appear particularly tired.
When we say that we want to be a "big hearted" mother, we mean that within a certain safe range, give the child the space to be independent, and the sooner the mother lets go, the sooner the child is independent.
This is a feature of many European and American mothers with babies, we can often see Chinese mothers who "tie" their children to cook, but rarely see European and American mothers do this.
Putting the child in a safe environment, letting the child play by herself and the mother doing housework, this is a common state.
This is a kind of "big heart" performance, the advantage of this practice is that on the one hand, it reduces the burden of the mother, on the other hand, it gives the baby enough room to grow, so that the baby can grow up quickly.
In addition, just like doing housework, "bringing a baby" is actually mental work.
If this matter is regarded as manual labor, just like many elderly people with babies, it can only ensure the basic food and clothing of children, not to mention the imagination of quality of life.
Japanese mothers who can bring seven or eight children at the same time can not only take care of their children's living life, but also take care of family affairs and personal life and hobbies, relying on their strong time management skills and careful thinking skills.
They will arrange the day in advance and then carry out the time of day in the framework.
Everything is done step by step, listed properly, and everything looks much easier.
Under the influence of this time management of the mother, the children will grow up very quickly and have a great positive impact on the children.
In addition, a practical issue that needs to be considered is the problem of household economic income.
Before having a child, we must consider the economic conditions of the family, having a child is not the end, having a child is the beginning, raising a child requires in addition to material conditions, but also spiritual conditions, which require money.
It is the wisest thing to do to have children within the limits of income allowing, and we must not be poorer and poorer, because the result can only be that we will become poorer and poorer.
If you want to make the family look decent, the baby looks easy, the child looks decent, the key is to have conditions, no conditions or less children, is the most beneficial choice for the family.