Former children were also beaten and scolded, why are there not so many psychological problems?
According to the "China National Mental Health Development Report", the detection rate of depression among adolescents in China in 2020 was 24.6%, of which the detection rate of severe depression was 7.4%.
Depression is becoming an "invisible killer" that affects the physical and mental health of adolescents.
What's wrong with the kids now
In November 2020, a girl from Lake Normal University was born in her bedroom;
In August 21, a fourteen-year-old Shanghai girl left a three-page suicide note and jumped from a tall building;
In November 21, 25-year-old Weibo netizen "Lu Dawson" committed suicide after leaving a long suicide note...
But with these news comes the questions of many parents:
"Why is the ability to resist pressure so weak?"
"Now that I eat well and dress well, how can I be depressed?"
"What's wrong with the kids now?"
Is there no psychological problem or is there no time to take care of it?
The "Maslow Hierarchy of Needs Theory" in psychology states that the hierarchy of human needs is divided into five levels, from lowest to highest:
Physical needs (clothing and food), security needs (job security), social needs (friendship), respect and self-actualization.
In the 1970s and 1980s, when China was just reforming and opening up, most Chinese families were still busy meeting the lowest level of needs (physical needs), and families in better situations were only pursuing security needs.
On the other hand, now, after the material materials of society are greatly enriched, only a very small number of people will worry about dressing and eating, and now people want to pursue social needs (social) and the satisfaction of the highest level of needs.
It is also easy to explain why the children of the past could be scolded casually and had "no psychological problems", while the children of the present seem to be "vulnerable".
Because the parents of children in the past did not have time to take care of their children's inner feelings, the first thing they had to solve was the problem of food and clothing for their children.
Today's children, after their most basic material needs are met, begin to think earlier, "Who am I?" "Where did I come from?" "Why am I alive?"
In this series of life issues, what they need is to be seen, understood, respected, respected and self-actualized by their parents.
If some people insist on explaining the problems of children now by "eating enough", it is not all unreasonable.
Not being seen hurt doesn't mean not being hurt
At this time, some people will further point out that according to this reason, in fact, parents have broken the "rich" of their children, that is, to "raise poor" and scold like the previous children, and will not everyone be happy?
But the question is, do the children who were scolded in the past really have no psychological problems?
When I came home for the New Year, my mother told the story of her childhood again, although I had heard it too many times.
When she was in elementary school, she especially wanted to buy an eraser, because after writing a typo with a pencil, she could only use her fingers to dip her fingers in the water to wipe, or borrow from classmates, and when she wiped the paper with her fingers, she would turn black or broken, often looking for classmates to borrow, and others would be impatient.
So she finally plucked up the courage to ask her grandfather for money to buy erasers, but the family was too poor to come up with money.
Mom didn't do two or two, said that if you don't give money to buy erasers, you won't go to school, Grandpa picked up the rattan and began to scold, took the rattan all the way to beat my mother to school, the classmates on the side of the road looked at her strangely, "I still remember the eyes of the roadside classmates." ”
Even if it is mentioned fifty years ago, her mother's tone still reveals reluctance and grievances, and she usually works the latest class to make the most money, because her childhood experience also makes her show an unusual hatred of poverty.
Back to the original question, the children of the past were beaten and scolded, is there really no psychological problem?
It's not, it's just that the trauma is not seen, it's just manifested in another visible or invisible way;
The invisible part has become the factual basis for supporting "the child is fragile now and cannot be beaten and scolded", but the fact that the harm is not seen does not mean that there is no impact, nor does it mean that there is no impact.
All along, it is not that today's young people are too vulnerable, but that the improvement of social life has raised their "happiness threshold".
They no longer rejoice because they are full and clothed, they seek spiritual happiness and satisfaction.
Therefore, when we constantly emphasize that we should educate our children in life, parents should also pay attention to whether they have given their children sufficient respect and care;
While correcting the behavioral problems of adolescents, it is also necessary to reflect on whether the problems of family relations have been correctly handled.
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