Children are growing day by day, parents in the harvest of education, parenting fruitful results, for the child to feel happy at the same time, will slowly find that children more and more personality, often require to have their own space, but also very concerned about protecting their "privacy".
Some parents do not think so, and even feel that the child is a bit "pretentious", how can it set limits on the parents who are close to and loved?
In fact, children's boundary awareness and self-needs are awakening, parents should respect the boundaries of getting along with their children, allow them to keep their own little secrets, do not deliberately spy and inquire.
01The daughter in the sixth grade of primary school chatted with her classmates in English, just in case her mother "peeked"
A parent shared her personal experience on the Internet, she has a daughter like a flower, very sensible since childhood, and her academic performance is also very good, which makes her proud.
The relationship between mother and daughter used to be very close, and every day when the daughter came home from school, she would share with her mother the interesting things she encountered on campus, and when she encountered problems, she would also ask her mother for help and listen to her mother's advice.
But after my daughter was in sixth grade, that began to change. The mother found that her daughter's words were less, and sometimes she took the initiative to ask her daughter about some information, and the daughter did not have the patience to answer.
This makes the mother more and more worried, always afraid that the child will not fall in love early, whether he will get into any bad habits...
In order to solve the mystery in her heart, the mother secretly went to see her daughter's mobile phone and wanted to know what she usually talked about with her friends, and her daughter was naturally very angry when she found out.
In order not to let the mother "peek" again, the daughter simply chatted with her classmates in English. Not to mention, the English level of the sixth grade of primary school has already looked like a model, and the mother is directly dumbfounded after reading it, shouting "I can't understand it.".
Subsequently, the mother posted this matter on the Internet, and sighed, "My daughter really tried her best to prevent me." ”
Netizens with good things remind mothers that they can long press the chat history, and the system will automatically translate to understand what their daughter is saying.
It is conceivable that if the mother accepts such a suggestion, the daughter will not be able to prevent "peeking" when chatting in English.
But there are also more netizens who believe that the mother's approach is inappropriate, the child has grown up, and in the depths of her heart, she longs to have her own piece of the world, and the mother should respect the child and face it calmly.
What's more, after reading the child's chat history, she found that it was all normal conversations, so the mother did not have to worry too much, over-interpret, if she could trust the child a little more, she would not have to work so hard to communicate with her classmates.
02 Children do not like to tell their hearts, parents instead of "peeking" better to communicate
I believe that similar situations, many parents have also encountered, in this time, how should we deal with it?
1. Do a transposition
Whether it is an adult or a child who is gradually entering puberty, no one wants to tell others all the secrets of their hearts.
Parents may wish to do more empathy, try to think about this secret "peek" feeling from the child's point of view, in order to better understand the child's mood.
2. Give your child some more private space
Children have the need to communicate with their peers, parents may wish to give them more free space, for the child's usual diary, communication of text messages and chat records, etc., do not deliberately probe, peep.
3. Don't be overly suspicious of your child
Parents should give their children the minimum trust, do not be suspicious of their normal communication, repeated questions, that will not only make themselves more tired, but also make the child feel suffocated, and even induce rebellious psychology.
4. Encourage your child to speak his or her mind
In fact, if you want to know your child's heart, you don't have to sneak so secretly to inquire, but you need to communicate with your child on an equal footing and openly, and encourage them to tell what they think and feel.
Of course, this kind of communication does not have to be too serious and too serious, which will make the child feel resistant and reluctant to talk to his parents.
Therefore, parents can start from the tone of friends, show concern and love for their children in words, reduce their resistance, and make communication go more smoothly.
Parents can also put down the shelf and communicate with some popular phrases that children like, making it easier to "mingle" with their children.
If you feel that face-to-face communication is difficult, parents can also use the way of writing letters to their children, or they can leave messages for their children online, like this, using more fresh means of communication, children will be more welcome, and it is easier to open their hearts and parents "talk about everything".
What do you think about "girls chatting with classmates in English to avoid their mothers peeking"? What advice do you have for this mother? Feel free to leave valuable comments and share them with me.