Love at first sight is about the same as seeing a sight. This is not false at all. In the basic situation of not knowing a person at all, it is all about being attracted to it at once, which is nothing more than looking at appearance. It's a passion, a sexual attraction, and a physical urge.
However, this so-called "passion" can often only be used as a "flavoring agent" in life. If we focus only on instinctive impulses, we may be trapped in a quagmire.
We can look at the love of the poet Xu Zhimo. Even if he married Zhang Youyi, he still had to pursue the talented daughter Lin Huiyin. Even if the "scumbag" crime is confirmed, he must divorce his wife and marry a married woman Luo Xiaoman. Xu Zhimo never looked up to Zhang Youyi, just because Xu Zhimo had no "impulse" for her.
Lin Huiyin is a smart girl, she sees through Xu Zhimo's "impulse". Married to the down-to-earth Liang Sicheng. And Lu Xiaoman spent a thousand dollars, making the later Xu Zhimo miserable. Liang Qiushi once said: "Xu Zhimo's life in the years before his death was to survive on the verge of festering. "This is certainly not acceptable to a sensitive poet.
It can be seen that love at first sight may not be long-lasting. After all, sexual appeal diminishes over time. Even if the other half is as beautiful as a heavenly immortal, there will still be a day of aesthetic fatigue. Maintaining long-term intimate relationships, sexual attractiveness alone is not enough, more value attraction is needed to maintain.
Have a stable mood
In real life, some people, once the emotions are up, it is easy to say some hurtful words. But the speaker has no intention, the listener intends. Many times, we just feel like we're venting our anger, and it's okay when it's over, but the other person suffers ten thousand critical hits.
As said in the movie "33 Days of Lost Love", if Lu Ran had not cheated, perhaps his long-distance love run with Xiao Xian would have been doomed to have no results. Because this is the story of a person who repeatedly uses extreme emotions to make his lover lose his dignity.
Lu Ran once said to Xiao Xian: "Every time you quarrel, you have spoken out of your words, the lethality makes me want to hit the wall for a hundred times, people all over the world, is it only you who have self-esteem?" Have you ever considered my feelings? ”
Intimacy is a double-edged sword, and because we love each other, we know each other's weaknesses better. But for emotionally unstable people, this is undoubtedly a hurtful weapon. They will choose to sacrifice each other's feelings to meet their own needs. Such a partner, in an intimate relationship, is undoubtedly a great consumption of the other party.
Partners with stable emotions often know how to think differently. Even if one party is in a mood of some abnormality, the other party will first care about it, and understand some details to give comfort. Stable emotions are a gentle force that can make people truly feel supported and loved.
Not afraid of the trivialities of life
Good love is often a long stream. The essence of life is actually a chicken feather, but a brave and determined partner can often live a life of thin water and live a happy taste.
Huang Lei and Sun Li are a model couple in the circle. After the two married, Sun Li concentrated on taking care of the family. After his wife became pregnant, Huang Lei also pushed away many trivial tasks and began to delve into cooking. Before marriage, he can be described as a literary and artistic youth full of artistic atmosphere. After marriage, he became a "greasy uncle" with good cooking skills.
In a letter to Sun Li, he once wrote: "We have lived together for twenty years, and our lives are ordinary and fragmented, and there are no ups and downs in a complete story. If it is a play, it should not be wonderful. ”
In fact, in the matter of love, no one has an aura. Two people who love each other need to show the courage to face trivialities in order to live a plain but pyrotechnic happiness. Life is never a show, there is no preset plan. Couples who are cared for by happiness often make many trade-offs and let go of the so-called gains and losses. Let love fit into life.
Stick to the bottom line and respect your partner
People who are always pleasing in the relationship are often not cherished. Because such people often do not know how to self-discipline. It is easier to lose yourself. They can break through their own bottom lines at will, and they don't care about each other's defenses. And in the eyes of such people, beautiful love will become a tool for moral kidnapping.
For example, he would say, I am so good to you, why don't you want to see me? Or maybe I gave so much for you that you weren't moved?
Proper flattery in a relationship is a way of expressing love. However, once it is overdone, it will cause considerable pressure on the other party.
The reason why there is attraction between people is because of the sense of distance, and there is a sense of mystery between people. Especially in intimate relationships, only if you take yourself seriously and keep your own bottom line, the other party is willing to understand your other values.
A person's charm is often not only tolerant and tolerant everywhere, but has its own framework and unique personality charm.
As Anxiety is an Elephant put it: "The real attraction in a relationship is not a momentary emotional satisfaction, but a long stream of mutual respect." ”
Finally, I wish everyone can have a long stream of love.