When parents lament that they cannot teach their children, cannot communicate with their children, and grieve for their current situation, parents actually think more about whether their children are more difficult and need help than themselves.
Because they can't understand the world in front of them, they can't express their hearts;
They are disturbed every day and even every moment;
They crave successful life experiences, but are always experiencing setbacks;
They don't know what to do, and they need everyone's understanding and help.
For parents, whenever they see their children's eyes full of confusion, they can't help but shout in their hearts: Baby, what do you really want, tell me, I will definitely help you complete.
And whenever their eyes quickly move away, parents will say to themselves in their hearts: how to do baby, how can I help you.
So parents have not given up on their efforts, trying to learn more knowledge, looking forward to the day when they can "read" the needs of their children.
Parents often put themselves in the position of a "reformer" to make these children normal;
Or when parents complain about why their children are this or that, they are actually denying that we ourselves need to change.
Children with autism cannot be changed, but the premise for them to change is that our parents themselves change.
Parents need to learn better methods and master more skills in order to get along with children with such characteristics and provide the help they need.
In the after-school guidance of parents, we often tell parents: don't complain that "he doesn't learn", we have to think about "what methods I use to make him feel that learning is not difficult".
From this point of view, we will extend many similar thinking:
Instead of complaining about "he's inattentive," ask yourself "How can I get him to notice me?" ；
Instead of complaining about "he doesn't talk," ask yourself "Is there anything I can do to help him talk?" ；
Instead of complaining, "He can't sit still," I'm thinking, "How can I make him feel that it's a beautiful thing to sit down and study?" ”
By analogy, parents can often ask themselves this question, and by doing so, you are building a bridge between your children and the lives of our world.
In the face of children with autism characterized by social interaction disorders, all we can do is try to get to know them, strive to get closer to them, and help them walk with us in this world.
You'll see changes in your children as a result of your changes, as evidenced by the experiences of many successful autistic people.
Let's remember a quote from an adult and accomplished autistic person: "I'm not here because someone tells me not to do anything, but someone is telling me what to do."