I'm warming your words with words, clicking on the blue button above to follow me.
A few days ago, I saw the news that a mother tutored her child to be hospitalized for sudden cerebral hemorrhage, and I felt a little emotional in my heart.
This is not the first time such news has appeared in our sights, and a woman who is not a mother may not understand why the tutoring homework should be so angry, but really when she reaches this stage, she may be angry more than anyone.
For example, I once said that I will definitely not hit my children in the future, and I must communicate well about everything. But really waiting for myself to face the naughty mischief of the child, I was also angry several times to vomit blood.
Chatting with other mothers around me, everyone also has such confusion, in fact, we all want to be a good mother who is emotionally stable, but this is really too difficult, everyone is angry and regrets at the same time, but afterwards they can't restrain themselves, but they have to be angry again.
Sometimes I think it's really hard to be a woman, especially when it comes to being a mother. Because in many people's minds, women should be born to be mothers, and men are excused for not being fathers.
But what woman can learn to do everything well when she's first time a mom? We can only recover while collapsing, and grow while working hard. We also need the support and understanding of those around us, and we also need dads to share the responsibility of raising children together.
I always believe that raising children is not the responsibility of the mother alone, a happy family should have a father who is not absent and a happy mother, so today, I want to share with you the voices of the women who are mothers around me, it may be a little sad, but everyone will be able to get to know them better through these words.
I hope we can explore together how to give women more tolerance and care, and how to give them more love.
"I also want to be a good mom with emotional stability"
There's not a woman who doesn't want to be a good mom who is emotionally stable, and that's what my friend CC told me. She said that she was a gentle little princess before she got married, and she was particularly annoyed to watch other women beat up children in the street, and vowed that she would never do this in the future.
However, she did not expect that after the birth of her child, she had completely changed into a person, as if she could not control her emotions, and always wanted to be angry inexplicably.
Her husband complained that she had changed too much, and the total number of people in the family had fallen behind her with children like this, but CC would like to ask, when the children are crying, when the children need to be taken care of, where are they?
CC's husband is a typical mommy boy, the children are five years old, he is still like a child, never thought that he had to grow up quickly, take on the responsibilities of a father, will only let him go to the mother when the child is crying, let CC quickly find a way to coax the child well.
And the mother-in-law always said that women are born to be mothers, but men can't, and said that educating children requires mothers to worry more.
CC listened to these words, felt that he was about to collapse, and when he encountered a child who was disobedient, there was no other way but to break out his uncontrollable temper.
As a mother, we all understand her very well, everyone wants to live a very elegant life every day, no one wants to become a crazy woman after giving birth, but who can share the fatigue and helplessness of mothers?
No one can replace the matter of having a child, no one can replace breastfeeding, and when educating children, they say that children listen to their mothers more... Everyone is shirking responsibility, but they are also blaming their mothers for not doing a good job.
Looking at cc's painful look, I really want to say that every woman wants to be a good mother who is emotionally stable, and we will regret it after every time we scold the child, but can the people around us give women a chance to breathe? Let her relax appropriately, ease her nervous emotions, release her emotions that are too big to collapse, share the responsibility of raising children, and don't push all the responsibility to this woman who is also a first-time mother.
I believe that if everyone can do their best, there will be more good mothers in this world who are emotionally stable, and there will be more happy women.
"Everyone understands the truth, but it is too difficult to do"
We all know that raising children is a difficult thing to do, and as moms, we have to take on many responsibilities. We also know that children should grow up happily, and we should give them a better education and help her have a better future.
It's just that it's really hard to do, and I believe the best educators can't do it well when it comes to their own children.
Just like the popular "Little Shed" some time ago, Nan Li initially wanted to give her children a good childhood, but then after seeing the gap between her children, she gradually went crazy, and many people were laughing at and criticizing her, but I believe that every mother can understand her.
We all know that every child will have a different future, and every child's childhood is only once, but who wants their children to be inferior to others? Who would dare to gamble on their children's future?
As a father, Xia Junshan could not understand it when he did not personally educate his children, but he was also in the same hurry when he really waited until he was on the battlefield.
So you see, everyone understands the reasoning, but it's really too difficult to do. I don't expect everyone to be able to help women who are moms share the pressure, but I hope that everyone can be more tolerant of them, a little less accusatory, think more about what the reasons why they are doing this, and then find a way to help her solve problems and face problems with her, I believe that such a family relationship will be more harmonious and the parent-child relationship will be closer.
"If given another chance, I really don't want to have children"
Probably the most desperate thing I've ever heard was "if I had another chance, I really wouldn't want to have children".
I believe that every mother loves her children and can say such a decisive word, it must be because of the heartbreak.
This mother is my colleague, the child was born before the birth of the life is also very good, but after the birth of the child on the family conflicts, the husband does not give strength, parents do not understand, everyone thinks she does, but no one knows that she actually has postpartum depression.
She said that sometimes she felt very scared when she looked at her child, and sometimes she wanted to get angry when she heard her child crying, which made her very painful.
Postpartum depression is a common disease now, but it is described by many as hypocrisy. Especially the older generation of people, always say that life is too good now, idle out of such a disease, said that the previous mothers after giving birth to children will go to the field to work, where there are so many things.
But I really want to say that the times are different, the pressure we face is different, in the past everyone's living conditions were the same, although not very good, but there is no comparison, but now it is really different, so we can't use the standards of the older generation to measure things now.
So, still that sentence, give the mothers some understanding and tolerance, when you find that she has emotional problems, don't blame anymore, but help her solve the problem, don't let having children become a woman's shackles, and make every woman happy.
"I'm really tired and tired"
What are your strongest feelings after having a baby? Most women will say one word, tired.
Yes, after giving birth to a child is really tired, no longer have a whole night of sleep, no longer have freedom, no longer have their own time, every day to spend in endless chores and children's crying, think about it feel very suffocating.
But this is also why I think women are very powerful, even if they are so tired, most people are still trying to persevere, and have not given up their responsibilities because of this.
However, I still hope that everyone can help her mother a little more, even if it is to help her share the housework every day, give her a little time to watch TV dramas, or give her half a day a week to help her arrange everything for her children and the family, so that she can go out and enjoy her own time.
You might say that no one is standing in her way of doing what she wants. It is true that many times there is no one to stop her, but no one can take the initiative to help her share, so how can this woman relax with peace of mind?
She worries that her child will have problems, and she is worried that after the problem, she will become the target of everyone, which is the root of the problem.
Therefore, I hope that everyone can actively participate in the care of children, no longer fake corpse education, of course, I also hope that women can learn to let go, sometimes to loosen their own constraints, is the best way.
"Boy, you are my weakness, but also my armor"
I especially like the passage that Gu Jia said in "Thirty Only": "Having a child is a particularly bad thing." After becoming a mother, your biggest feeling is to hold back, to be held in a title called mother. On the day of the confinement, I suddenly found that Gu Jia was dead, and it was Xu Ziyan's mother who survived. I often wonder when will he grow up faster? Being able to sleep alone, eating alone, managing his own emotions, and giving me back. But in fact, I can't do without him. ”
Yes, for women, being a mother is not only because of being given a new identity, but also because of a small life that can grow with ourselves, this child is our weakness and makes us weak, but he is also our armor, making us stronger than ever.
As Gu Jia said: "You are weaker than ever, and you hope that the world can be a little more tolerant of your children." But you are also tougher than ever, whether it is a struggle for perfection or a martial effort, you don't want any harm to fall on your child. You will work out without moving, because you are afraid of illness and even more afraid of death. You'll try to be a better version of yourself because you'll have to catch up with the speed of the baby's broken money. ”
Therefore, although women complain, they still perform their duties as mothers without complaint and regret, and still strive to spell out a good future for their children.
I hope that everyone will not look down on them because of their complaints, and do not feel that she is not a good mother, there is no one in the world who loves children more than mothers, more tolerance, give her time, I believe she will do better, you will be happier.
The matter of having children is indeed painful, and the matter of raising children is indeed maddening. However, I believe that most women have never regretted being a mom, and we will definitely strive to be better moms.
Please also know that there are no perfect people in this world, and mothers are the same, give them more love, let them be happy and happy, and your family and family will be happier and happier because of this.
I am Xi Yan, columnist, older girl who is not old and not old, likes to write warm words, do emotional programs, has published "The Rest of Your Life, Related to Me", if you have a story, remember to come to me.