Junior high school is the most important period for adolescent behavior habits and character development, and three years of junior high school can almost cultivate the strengths and weaknesses of a person's life.
As a parent, in the face of adolescent junior high school students can be said to be thoroughly, do not want their children to go astray and get into bad habits, and worry about too much discipline to suppress children's creativity, and even cause rebellion, autism and other issues, really is not a tube, whether it is or not.
Bob Gordon and Mary Gordon, MD and president of the International Association for Communication Analysis, classify injunctions that have a particularly significant impact on life.
People who are strongly affected by these prohibitions are susceptible to negative emotional infections and live unhappy lives.
The following is to introduce the representative 7 kinds of "no", parents can read it while self-examination, these words, are you still saying to your children?
First, you can't do anything
This prohibition is prone to occur in families where parents are strict, overprotective, and overly detailed.
"You can't climb trees, it's dangerous!"
"You can't play football, you'll get hurt!"
"Don't play with that kid!"
Regulating various actions like this will make children form a "better to do nothing" prohibition.
People with such prohibitions, who have always been the result of being a good child, may lack enthusiasm when they grow up and easily obey the opinions of others.
In the workplace, employees who wait for instructions may be affected by this prohibition.
If children obey their parents' words from an early age, they will not be able to develop the habit of thinking and acting in the future. Therefore, without the instructions of the supervisor or senior, you do not know what to do.
Second, you can't be yourself
"I wanted girls..."
"My daughter is a money loser..."
Such a prohibition can easily arise when parents often deny their gender or personality.
There are many friends of the opposite sex around, but there are not half of the same-sex friends; or people who are very unskilled by the same-sex groups such as clubs and football teams, the possibility of being affected by this prohibition is very high.
This prohibition will make people feel unconfident about their gender or self. Lack of self-confidence, so it is easily swayed by external evaluation, common sense, and social atmosphere.
Third, do not be childish
"You are a brother, you must be responsible!"
"You're already a sister, don't cry!"
Children with younger siblings often hear such words and injunctions arise.
During the dinner, people who desperately help everyone to carry vegetables and pour wine, and have been busy taking care of everyone, and those who have not enjoyed it at all, may be bound by this prohibition.
People with this prohibition are urged to grow up early, cannot live freely as children, and are prone to be too serious in personality. The excess sense of responsibility of "not doing it yourself" will also become a burden.
Fourth, you can't grow up
Contrary to the previous situation, "Mom will do something for you." This kind of prohibition is easy to appear in the overprotected and spoiled Mo'er.
This prohibition will make people feel that "it is better to always be a child and not to do anything."
This is the case with the so-called "Oedipus complex".
Recently, there have been more and more people who have not been able to get out of the prohibition of "not growing up" when they grow up. It is also common to hear that parents participate in friendships on behalf of their children and help their children decide who to marry.
Fifth, there must be no emotion
I fell, couldn't stop crying because of the pain, but was scolded by my parents: "Don't cry!" ", forced to hold back. People who can't express their needs and emotions frankly may have such a restraining order.
This prohibition will make people suppress their emotions, indifferent to things, unmoved, will not cry bitterly, will not be angry, and people whose voices are not depressed and frustrated, and whose expressions are poor, may be affected by this prohibition.
Sixth, do not think
"Don't talk back to your parents!"
"Listen to me quietly!"
Many parents will intimidate their children in this way. Children who grow up under the hysterical anger of their parents are prone to such prohibitions.
This prohibition will make people give up thinking, unable to think logically and make calm judgments. Blindly superstitious people who believe in fortune-telling may be dominated by the "don't think" prohibition.
7. Do not go near
"I'm busy right now, I'll talk about it later!"
"Be quiet!"
Parents always say that there are few opportunities to be close to their parents, and people who are forced to keep their distance from their parents are prone to such prohibitions.
This prohibition orders people to avoid talking to their parents and not to tell their parents what they are talking about. When you grow up, you don't tell others what you really think.
Even if you have troubles at work, you don't discuss it with your supervisor or colleagues, and you work hard alone; even if you encounter nasty things, you can say that you are affected by this prohibition.
Today's sharing is all, remind parents. People who are strongly affected by these prohibitions are susceptible to negative emotional infections and live unhappy lives. For the sake of your own children, please don't say such things again!
What do parents think?
I felt it after reading it