I don't know if you remember the British boy Alfie Patten, who became famous 13 years ago, his fame stemmed from his "happy daddy" at the age of 13, becoming the youngest father in the world and breaking the Guinness Book of World Records at that time.
Alfie Patten, who was only 13 years old at the time, and Chantelle Stedman, a neighbor girl two years older than him, had a very good relationship, and the two grew up together, so it was common to play in each other's homes, and sometimes even spend the night at each other's houses because it was too late.
Perhaps because both parents feel that they are children and have grown up together, they have always regarded them as children who do not understand the world, and do not pay much attention to whether the behavior between them is beyond the line.
Unexpectedly, the two people did not know when to "steal the forbidden fruit" behind their parents' backs, and his girlfriend, Chantelle Stedman, suddenly said to Alfie Patten one day: "I am pregnant with your child, you are going to be a father!" ”
In the face of this "good news" that completely exceeded Alfie Patten's ability to accept, Alfie Patten was very shocked, he did not know what to do for a while, did not expect that he was still quite responsible at a young age, after careful consideration, he replied to his girlfriend, let her give birth to the child, he will assume the responsibility of manhood.
And the parents of both sides were also more careless, and did not even find the problem of the children, when they knew it was too late, they could only let Chantelle give birth to the child, so soon, the child was born, is a cute little girl.
First, the parents' three views are not correct, so that the two children have gone astray
If you change to a normal parent, the child will definitely find a way to stop the loss in time, let the child recognize the mistake, and reduce the harm as much as possible within the scope of his ability.
And Alfie Patten's parents are more strange, only 13-year-old children have such a thing, the average parent will find a way to cover up, do not make a noise, and Allie Patten's parents are not only more supportive of their sons, but also to hype up, so that the media amplify this event.
Because of this, the media seized Alfie Patten's 13-year-old father as a gimmick, and carried out hype, and soon this matter was hyped up, and Alfie Patten was named "the youngest father in the UK" by the British media.
In the face of such hype and high attention, Alfie Patten was at a loss, he had no intention of going to school, his classmates would laugh at him about it, he became more and more reticent and reluctant to see people, and finally he had to drop out of school and go home.
The age at which school should have been, should have received a better education on campus, but Alfie Patten's parents forced their son to drop out of school step by step because of their own three views, leaving their son helpless and confused.
It has to be said that the three views of parents will have a fatal adverse impact on the child's future during the critical period of children's growth.
Second, how much does the parent's three views affect the child?
From the above experience of Alfie Patten, we can see that his parents' three views led him to go further and further down the wrong road, but things are not only this, the development of the event later, but also let Alfie Patten fall into inferiority and confusion, so that his later life is completely dark.
What exactly are the three views we often refer to?
The three views refer to the outlook on life, values, and world outlook. In layman's terms, the concept of life is how I should live in this life, what are the values that are most worth cherishing for my life, and the world view is how I look at the world.
The three views of parents are the soft family environment for children's growth, and will have the most direct and greatest impact on the child's three views.
This is because the child gets along with the parents from an early age, and the parents' words and deeds will have a deafening impact on the children, plus the children trust their parents the most from an early age, so the words and deeds of the parents are correct in their eyes.
If this soil is more fertile, you can let the child feel the positive, positive sunshine care, the child will thrive on this soil, on the contrary, like Alfie Patten's parents provide the child with a barren soil, so that the child's mind is more and more withered.
When Alfie Patten was confused, his parents not only did not care about their son, but in order to earn money, they continued to use the incident of their son's 13-year-old "Happy Daddy" to speculate, and said to reporters: "If you want to interview our son, whoever pays a higher price will get first-hand news!" ”
Originally, Alfie Patten dropped out of school and returned home to learn to be a good father, focusing on taking care of his newborn daughter every day, but because of the continuous hype of his parents and the media, his "Hi Daddy" incident gradually evolved into a farce.
Before and after the 8 teenagers said that they were the biological father of the newborn baby girl, Alfie Patten was miserable in the face of such rumors, and his parents were happy to see the money in it, in order to prove that they were the biological parents of the baby girl, he conducted a paternity test.
To Alfie Patten's surprise, the paternity test showed that he was not the biological father of the newborn baby girl. A 15-year-old boy named Tyler Baker is the biological father of the newborn baby girl. Alfie Patten learns that she has been tricked into carrying the black pot, and her girlfriend, Chantelle, has left him with the child.
In the face of such a result, Alfie Patten really can't accept such a blow, and at this time, his parents are dissatisfied because they have lost his "cash cow" and have not provided him with timely psychological counseling.
Since then, Alfie Patten has collapsed completely, and for the next 13 years, he has been self-abandoned, depressed, and in a very poor mental state, and now he is idle and has no special skills, is an unemployed homeless, and often makes trouble on the streets, destroys roadside fences and vehicles, enters shops and is disciplined.
Because the parents' three views are not correct, After Alfie Patten did something wrong, the parents not only did not prevent reflection, but also aggravated the harm he suffered in this matter, which shows how much the parents' three views have a great impact on the child's life.
Third, parents can establish the correct three views for their children in this way
In the process of growing up, children will always make mistakes and take detours, at this time, on the one hand, the education and guidance of the school, and the most critical is the influence and education of the family.
If the parents have three positive views, think more positively, care about the child's growth, especially when the child reaches puberty, and care about the child's psychology and changes, then you can find out whether the child has a problem in time, so that it can be stopped in time, so as to avoid the child from making a big mistake.
And Alfie Patten's life turnaround should trigger more parents to reflect, maybe our children will not make such a big mistake, but sometimes small mistakes can lead to big mistakes, which makes us re-understand a problem, that is, how parents can use the normal three views to guide their children.
Mothers should give their children unconditional love and let their hearts be full and safe
Mothers are the object of the child's greatest dependence, and the mother's words and deeds have the greatest impact on the child, but some mothers are accustomed to using conditions to quantify the love for the child, so that the child feels that the mother's love is conditional, and only what the mother will love herself.
In this way, the child's heart will lack of security, so the mother should give the child more love and positive guidance, so that the child can establish a correct concept of life and love, so that the child will not have boundary behavior in adolescence, knowing that some things can never be done.
While parents love their children, they must also establish a sense of rules for their children
We all know that "fatherly love is like a mountain", the father is strict in the minds of many children, and some of the rules of the parents are unbreakable, which is the love that comes from the father with rules.
Children growing up in such an environment, the child's three views in the process of establishing, there will be a sense of rules, parents in the process of accompanying the child, will play some games with strong rules, and in this process, let the child understand that some things are wrong can not be recovered, you have to pay a price.
Fourth, advice to mom and dad
From the beginning of children falling to the ground, they are full of surprise and unknown about the world, from babbling to waddling, they trust and rely on their parents the most.
It can be said that in early childhood, parents are almost the only window through which they understand the world, even as they grow older, their words and deeds will make them hear and learn, and they will imitate and learn, and in this process, it is also an important period for them to shape the three views.
If the parents have three views, the child will also have the correct three views, life learning will be more active, and will not be easily misled by the outside world, but if the parents are not correct, it will make the child go astray, just like The parents of Alfie Patten, pushing the children who are on the wrong path into a more helpless abyss.
I hope that every child can grow up healthy and happy under the care of their parents, and can grow into a towering tree!
After watching the Experience of British Boy Alfie Patten from "Happy Daddy" to the complete darkness of life, how do you feel?