A friend works at an eye care center and talks to her about her boss's children. The boss's family is a two-child family, and the age difference between the two children is not large, but the personality is opposite.
Dabao is lively and cheerful, not afraid of the stage, meets strangers and knows to say hello, warm and polite, very "outgoing", and more gregarious at school. The second treasure is soft and sticky, unwilling to say things, but he is stuffy in his heart, always alone, giving people a feeling of introversion.
One of the things that the boss often says to his friends is: "You see my family's second treasure, the personality is so stuffy." Since the mother said this about her own child, it means that she is also worried about whether there will be a "problem" in erbao's character?
In fact, "introverted" and "extroverted" are not personality defects.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a Gushing World is one of the books of Susan Kane, a brilliant lawyer who also mentions herself as an introvert. She said:
"In fact, you don't need to work hard to extrovert yourself, and your introverted personality can also achieve great things."
"Introverted" and "extroverted" psychology
A study in the book "Introverted Psychology" showed that 50% of the world's neglected population is an introvert. Seventy percent of successful people in the world have an introverted personality.
Mentioned above, this friend's boss will often say that one of her second treasures is: "You play with other children, don't always be bored at home." ”
In fact, this situation is very common, every new year's school season, many children are sent to kindergarten, in the face of strange and novel environment, many children do not adapt, there will be crying and making trouble, as if from the bottom of their hearts to resist accepting all this, after school time is only their own play.
For example, during the holidays, some children will often go out to play, while some children like cats at home, either reading books, or playing games or surfing the Internet.
The "introverted" personality shown by the child also makes parents inevitably worry: Is this really good? Does it really help your child's future? Actually, this is not a big problem. Kids who like to be alone are just "recharging" themselves.
Having simply explained "introversion", what is the "extroverted personality" in contrast? Children with "extroverted personalities" usually show that they do not like to be quiet, have imagination, and like to make friends.
However, whether it is a child's introvert or extrovert, it has a lot to do with the "character formation period", why?
About the character formation period
In Russia, such a social research experiment was done, and the content of the experiment was roughly through 45 pairs of parents who evaluated the child in infancy, and the content of the evaluation was mainly the temperament of the baby.
When the child reaches the age of eight, the parents begin to evaluate the child's personality characteristics. The results of the study show that in fact, the temperament displayed by the baby at the age of 1 is already the prototype of the future personality.
Therefore, it is very important for parents to give good guidance to their babies when they are young.
Different personalities, each with its own advantages
A, Exotropial character
For children with extroverted personalities, generally parents do not worry too much, do not have to worry about their children's social problems, and do not have to worry about their children's ability to solve problems. Sometimes, parents are worried about how their children will control the scene to avoid being excited and unable to contain emotions.
In fact, extroverted children generally have a very prominent ability, which is the source of their cheerfulness and good social skills, which is called "leadership".
Many people think that leadership is something that only extroverted children have, but it is not.
B, Introverted personality
Introverted children also have this kind of "leadership", but their leadership ability is put on the "invisible cloak", which needs to be guided by parents and fully exerted with some small skills.
In the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a Gushing World, one of the world-famous examples is mentioned: In 1955, Rosa, a black seamstress, refused to give up her seat to a white man on a bus. One of the reasons why this matter was later known was not the problem of giving up the seat, but Rosa's bravery.
Many people know rosa as a short and weak woman, but in times of racial discrimination, Rosa can be so brave, not just to narrate one thing, but to say another kind of strength.
Susan Kane was also a very introverted child, and she gave up her dream of writing in order to change her introverted personality and learn how to be a lawyer. But later experiences told her that it was painful to force herself to be cheerful, to force herself to socialize, to force herself to do things she didn't like. Instead of that, let it go.
So Susan went around and chose to be a quiet writer, and her autobiography "Quiet Power" introduced her introverted personality vividly.
When many parents have the idea of "changing the introversion of their children", what needs to be changed most is actually this kind of thinking and attitude. Introversion is not a problem.
How to correctly guide children to make good use of their own personality characteristics?
When a child is always hiding behind a crowd because he is introverted, he may lack self-confidence. At this time, parents can educate in an encouraging way, rather than counting in disguise.
If the child likes to stay home alone, the best way for parents to ask the reason is to ask the reason appropriately, and never to have an attitude of accusation. After knowing the reason, it is the key for parents to guide their children on how to solve the problem correctly.
Whether it is the child's introverted or extroverted personality, in fact, it is not a character defect, parents instead of rushing to change the child's personality, it is better to guide the child to correctly "use" their own personality characteristics, in order to actively face the future life.