I believe that there are many parents who have said some angry words when their children are disobedient, playing with their temper, making unreasonable trouble, and repeatedly teaching, "You are the same as me, you are not my own child, you are picked up in the trash can."
When parents play temper in the face of children making mistakes, they are helpless and jumpy, they will be very casual and angry to say some angry words to make the child quiet down and vent their inner anger.
And these angry words of parents, perhaps parents forget when they turn around after their anger subsides, and even can't even remember that they have said such things.
However, due to the child's comprehension ability, cognitive ability, psychological endurance, and age limitations, they believe what their parents say, and the impact on the child is also unpredictable, and even affects the child's life.
The old saying often says that a good word is a warm and evil word in three winters, a cold june, and indeed, a word of encouragement and praise given by parents to their children will make the child work harder and feel happier.
And angry words that parents say to their children when they are angry also have a powerful destructive ability, which not only makes the children feel depressed and sullen, but also affects the child's personality and cognition of things.
Parents should not say these four words to their children
01 "If you don't obey any more, your mother won't love you anymore"
After school, the child said to his mother that he wanted to eat marshmallows, and the mother immediately threw a sentence to the child, "Don't buy, see your teeth are small black teeth, you can't eat candy anymore, you know."
The child did not listen to the mother's words at all, and still did not forgive, the mother was very angry and said to the child, "If you don't obey again, the mother will not love you."
When the mother says this, the child will definitely be stunned, and then give up the idea of buying marshmallows and obediently follow the mother home.
Because, the child is very afraid that the mother does not love himself, and when the mother says this sentence too much, the child will think that the mother does not love herself.
02 "It's so angry, you go, Mom doesn't want you anymore"
When the child goes to the supermarket and sees the remote control car, he can't move, so he wants his mother to buy it, and if he doesn't buy it, he won't go home.
Mom said, "It's too angry, you go, Mom doesn't want you anymore."
When the mother says this sentence, the child will no longer be willful, but will cry and start to hold the mother's hand, afraid that the mother really does not want herself, the child will immediately give up the idea of buying a remote control car, and go home with the mother.
However, in the future, when the child really has what he wants, he will no longer tell his mother, afraid of making his mother angry, and his mother really does not want himself.
03 "Naughty again, I'll sell you"
A boy is very naughty, often troublemakers, but also very fond of trouble, the mother reprimanded many times, even the hands are useless, the mother said to the child "naughty again, I will sell you."
As a result, the boy was still so naughty, one day the boy was abducted by the trafficker, the boy was very smart to know that he was following the trafficker, and remembered his parents' names, home address, there were many opportunities to call the police, but the boy gave up.
Because, the boy thought he was naughty, and his mother really bought himself.
This is a real news report, and now that the boy has grown up, has a good academic performance, and is about to take the college entrance examination.
However, the boy has always wanted to find his biological parents to confirm whether the parents sold themselves in the first place.
And the boy's biological parents in order to find the boy painstakingly, more than ten years have been looking, and finally the parent-child reunion, the boy also got the answer, the parents love themselves very much, did not sell themselves at all.
04 "How come you haven't changed at all"
The child makes the same mistake every day, and the mother reprimands the child, "How come you haven't changed at all, I see that's how you grow up."
When the mother says such a thing, the child will be very sad, the self-esteem will be hurt, and the child's enthusiasm will be seriously hit.
Most of the children's understanding of themselves in early childhood comes from the evaluation of their parents and the outside world.
Therefore, when parents criticize their children, some of the words they say when they are angry, the child may believe it and think that he is the person that his parents say he is.
Children will take their parents' words to heart
01 Children will run away from home
There are many news reports that every year there are incidents of young children, children and teenagers running away from home.
Some are because they are angry with their parents, and the younger children say, "Mom said she didn't love me anymore, she didn't want me anymore, and let me leave this home."
02 Will try to suppress their emotions and please their parents
When the child is worried that the parents do not love themselves and do not want themselves, the child will become well-behaved and sensible, trying every means to please the parents, and suppressing their emotions and hiding their thoughts.
Children with this personality can easily erupt when they grow up, fight back against their parents, or wronged themselves for a lifetime to please their parents.
03 Self-abandonment
When parents make all kinds of accusations and criticisms, ridicule, blows, and reprimand children with the same sentence every day, the child's heart will be occupied by full of negative energy, and the child will agree with the parents' evaluation of themselves, produce self-destructive and self-abandoning ideas, no longer want to change, no longer work hard.
I have heard the saying that the parents' emotions hide the future of the child, and the future of the child is in the mouth of the parent. Therefore, as parents, we must be careful in our words and deeds, and take the right and reasonable way to deal with our children's small emotions and mistakes.
Handle your child's wayward situation carefully and rationally
01 Gaze sternly
When the child is unreasonable and willful, parents should restrain themselves, do not reprimand, just stare at the child with a stern gaze.
This kind of gaze reveals anger and majesty, which will let the child know that the parents are already very angry and that they have made mistakes, and will make the children have a sense of wrong consciousness.
02 Don't talk and watch the child make trouble
When we look at the child with a stern gaze, we don't need to speak, and if the child continues to cry, then we can sit down and watch the child make trouble.
At this time, our expressions can become calm, and we can watch the child make trouble very seriously until the child stops himself.
03 When the child has made enough trouble, let the child speak for himself
When the child sees that the mother has not reprimanded herself or spoken, she begins to be anxious, and the child begins to realize that it is useless to cry and play with her temper.
When the child has made enough trouble, the mother can ask the child "Is it enough, is there anything to say?"
Then let the child speak freely, then the mother tells the child that there are things to be clear with the mother in the future, the mother can agree to it, do not agree, you are useless, just like you just made trouble.
It is inevitable that children will make mistakes, and parents must also take a two-way approach to deal with them skillfully, so that children and parents can grow up together and make progress together.
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Some of the content is illustrated / originated from the Network Invasion and Deletion