Kochi Online/Kiko
On January 9, the video of 800 times of persuasion to break up and finally attending the wedding was screened, and 3 girls attended a friend's wedding, but the marriage object was the one they had not been optimistic about.
"Persuaded to break up 800 times, and finally attended the wedding", how tragic was the end of the undesirable marriage?
Netizens have left messages "big grievances", and more netizens joked and laughed, "This is the reason why you are not allowed to be bridesmaids.".
Some netizens also said that they had also been such a big wronged species.
It seems that everyone has such friends around them, and her family and friends are not optimistic about her marriage partner, but she is like a demon, "he must be".
01 Romeo and Juliet plot in love
There is such a complex in the psychology of love, which is called the Romeo and Juliet complex. It refers to lovers who are hindered by the world or other forces, insisting on fighting against the blind eyes and scorn of the people. And the louder the opposition, the more firmly and stubbornly they vow to stay together for the rest of their lives.
The Romeo and Juliet effect is also called the "forbidden fruit effect", and the more things are forbidden, the more people have to get their hands on them. This is related to people's curiosity and the phenomenon of reverse psychology.
When the whole world is on your side, when everyone becomes an imaginary enemy, many people will be heroic, like a lone hero, wielding a sword to fight against the world and protect their lovers.
In their hearts, it is not themselves who are wrong, but worldly prejudices.
But when the doubts of the outside world began to subside and life returned to calm, the two sides began to feel uncomfortable, and the relationship began to collapse in the quiet and wind.
Just like a female friend of mine, with a master's degree, there is a high-paying job in Beijing, but the object of the conversation is not only low education, but also no stable job, and the two of them will do the work with the help of girls in the future.
The most important thing is that the two are not only not a good match in terms of external conditions, but also emotionally unstable. Often it is a big quarrel for three days, a small quarrel for two days, and contradictions continue. Every time we complain to our friends, we will advise us to break up early since it is not appropriate and not to delay each other.
Just when everyone thought that the two would break up, the two were caught off guard and engaged, leaving our sisters looking at each other.
Originally, I thought that the two were going to enter the marriage hall after careful consideration, but they suddenly broke up on the wedding day.
02 Many girls have very good conditions themselves, but the object they are looking for is always unsatisfactory?
They usually think they can only find such people and are afraid to contact men who are better off than themselves.
In psychology, this is called "unworthiness." It is precisely because of this "feeling of unworthiness" that our lives are much less likely.
The "feeling of unworthiness" usually stems from the original family we grew up in, and the parents' wrong way of domestication.
Like my friend, who was beaten by his parents since childhood, "You are not beautiful", "You are not smart enough compared to others", "It is good to find such an object, what else do you want?" ”
These words of her parents sprouted in her heart the seed of "I don't deserve it". When this thought is implanted in the subconscious, it becomes a stumbling block on the road to happiness.
Therefore, in order to meet the requirements of her parents, she will habitually ignore her own needs, habitually thinking that she is not good enough and "unworthy" to get a good life.
And this "feeling of unworthiness" in intimate relationships will prompt you to constantly look for the advantages of the other party and persuade yourself to be with the other party.
A person's sense of worthiness is related to self-worth, which is a subjective judgment of one's own value. There is no objective standard for subjective judgment, you think you have value, you have value, if you think you have no value, then you must have no value.
03 Love is sometimes blind and sometimes redeeming
Excessive concern about the sunk cost in the emotion is also one of the reasons why many women do not let go of the undesirable feelings.
Not willing to pay all the time, emotions, money, etc. that you have paid in your feelings have been adrift, even if you don't love, even if you hurt each other, you can't see the future, you have to grab each other and don't let go.
In the face of feelings that are not affirmed by the outside world, many women will have a fluke mentality, thinking that marriage will make the feelings of two people more stable, and that this person will become better after marriage. Even worse, people are worried that "the next one may be worse."
There will always be some people who are not optimistic about a relationship, but if it is a love that everyone is not optimistic about, then you should think twice. Don't choose blindly because of a momentary mood or being carried away by feelings. The so-called "authorities are obsessed with bystanders", and listening to the opinions of people next to you in everything can help you avoid many unnecessary losses.
Love is sometimes blind, sometimes it is also salvation, such as people drinking cold and warm self-knowledge.
Whether the other party is really suitable for you, whether it is love and pity each other, in the process of getting along with each other, you can feel it, do your own thing, talk about love seriously when you are together, if you find that it is really inappropriate, you will stop the loss in time and put down each other, in order to harvest new happiness.
I am Pan Xingzhi, your personal emotional counselor. If you need professional help, send me a private message to help you get through an emotional crisis.