Three pits that girls are prone to encounter in their relationships

Love is a very complicated thing, and if you want a happy ending, natural ability and luck, you can't do it.

Talent is character and appearance, luck is of course whether you can meet the right person in the right thing, and ability is the ability to identify love, express love, and harvest love.

The most talked about of these three things is appearance and luck, the former from the primitive instinctive preferences, the latter from the mysterious charm of the underworld.

And the ability to love, in recent decades and love and marriage related research and books also have a lot.

Many of the concepts in these studies can be said to advance people's understanding of love, the understanding of intimate relationships, and many people have improved their marital relationships and even obtained a more satisfactory married life.

I used to think that this was a matter of relying on heaven and fate, but now I find that there is also theoretical support, and there is also methodological teaching, and naturally the threshold is lower - as long as it is a method problem, it is not a problem.

The good things in these theories have been shared a lot before, and this time three pits are shared, three pits that women are more likely to fall into.

The first is Stockholm syndrome, also known as the hostage complex, which says that the hostage will have a psychological dependence on the kidnapper during the long-term relationship with the kidnapper.

This sense of dependence many people will mistake for love, and thus jump into the fire pit.

There are many psychological explanations, such as when a person falls into despair, as long as a person is gentle with him, he will infinitely enlarge this good, and the emotional stimulus behind this good is naturally infinitely magnified, and it is easy to form dependence over time.

The psychological mechanism behind the generation of this dependence, like the blind letter generated in the process of pyramid schemes, is also a psychological control mechanism in extreme environments.

Don't feel stupid when you're on the sidelines, you're going to throw yourself into that desperate space, maybe you're the same.

The so-called PUA, as well as those girls who have been abused by the family, actually have this psychological mechanism behind it. Many times it is obvious that you are abused by domestic violence and are hurt, if you go to the rescue, many people will stand up to defend the abuser, which is the reason.

The second is the Shanruzod complex, who is the heroine of the story of "One Thousand and One Nights". Every day, the emperor had to find a young girl to enter the palace to kill, and the daughter of the prime minister, Shanruzod, volunteered to enter the palace in order to stop the killing, telling the emperor a story every night, not saying it at the critical moment, and continuing to tell it the next night.

In this way, the emperor left her life day after day because of the story, and finally she told a thousand and one nights, which also impressed the emperor, became an empress, and lived happily together.

Many girls have a Mountain Ruzod complex in their hearts, and some people call it the Virgin Complex, and they hope that in their lives there will be a bad prince, a flower president, a bully on campus, an unruly prodigal son, or even a leper or rogue, and then firmly believe that they can move him and save him.

Finally the playboy turns back, and the scumbag and bully wake up and live happily with her.

Not only girls, men also have a hero journey in their hearts, thinking that they can save others, but girls' complexes are heavier. Perhaps in a patriarchal society, there are many ways for men to achieve heroic journeys, and girls choose to conquer men to conquer the world.

The third is the Romeo and Juliet effect, that is, the more people around you oppose, the deeper you love, and continue to be the same as Romeo and Juliet.

The love between Romeo and Juliet stems from the pressure given by the two families, in fact, the same is true in love, when the parents oppose, often can make the two young people hate each other, and the feelings become deeper.

At this time, parents take a step back, but can make the two people return to the feelings themselves, back to the other person itself, some problems, some shortcomings will be exposed.

Such stories are common in TV dramas, and they also give many parents an inspiration, sometimes opposing too firmly, but not a good thing.

These three types of problems are not unique to women, both men and women will encounter, but this society is more unfair to women, they are more likely to be hurt, and the tolerance of society after injury is lower.

So girls need to be more vigilant about these pits in their emotions, get back to their personality and ability, and protect themselves in order to love others, haha