I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
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There are many topics similar to "buy cake scraps for children, and the result is that children are inferior", "parents should not buy cake scraps for their children anymore, in case children are inferior".
It felt very uncomfortable to read.
There are also some topics starting from dress, thinking that parents dress too ordinary, and it will be easy for children to have an inferiority complex.
This kind of guidance and perspective is terrible.
Children's inferiority or self-confidence, should not be based on material conditions, to material conclusions, really too hasty, if parents believe this statement, it will really teach the child bad.
Buy cake scraps for children, children are prone to inferiority?
Parents must be familiar with cake scraps, if there is a friend in the circle of friends who make cakes, then you will often see him in the circle of friends to sell cake scraps cheaply.
Even if not, when you go to the cake shop, you can often see some packaged cake scraps on the counter.
I believe that many parents have the experience of buying cake scraps.
People who think that often buy cake scraps for children will make children feel inferior is that other children eat a complete cake, your children can only eat scraps, and children will naturally be inferior and cannot look up in front of other children.
This is a superficial conclusion.
It is also a subjective assumption.
The child's inferiority does not come from what kind of materials the parents provide to the children, but from how the parents guide them.
Cake scraps will not make children directly feel inferior, affordable clothes will not make children feel inferior, and low houses will not make children feel inferior.
The root cause of children's inferiority lies in what kind of environment parents provide for their children and what kind of posture they use to guide their children into this complicated world.
Poor people can also maintain self-confidence and optimism
Before sharing my point of view, I would like to introduce someone first.
My mom, I often talk about her old age.
Mom is 58 years old this year, she was born in a family of extreme poverty, no one in the family completed primary school, she did not go to school for a day.
According to his father, although he was not very rich when he was a child, he got rid of hunger.
But mom also experienced hunger as a child.
Even so, her mother's personality has always been strong and sunny, and there is no shadow in her.
When Dad's family can afford to eat cake, let alone scraps, Mom basically only has a far-looking portion.
Up to now, her life has entered the second half of the journey, the more she lives, the more optimistic she is, and the younger she lives, the younger she is.
Even when we were young, when the days were the most difficult, my mother still maintained a good attitude, faced everything with the best appearance, and kept in a good state every day.
In her, there is no trace of inferiority.
The same goes for uncles.
So poor, still so sunny, so confident, fully benefit from the optimistic attitude of grandma and grandpa, and provide children with rich spiritual food, so that although they are in difficulty, they can still maintain a positive attitude to face life, even if they are difficult, they still believe that beauty is at the turn.
Now that the living conditions are better, the child is becoming more and more inferior?
The root cause is not in the material, but in the mentality of the parents and the spiritual environment provided by the parents to the children.
Let the child accept the reality and guide the child to work hard
In the process of children's growth, for parents, the two most taboo things, one is "comparison", and the other is the lack of patience for children.
Compare your child's academic performance with other parents, and compare your child's dress with other children.
A parent who loves to compare brings influence to his children in addition to comparison or comparison.
It is easy to destroy a person.
If the child falls into the competition, there are only two results, or it is to stand on the basis of the strong financial resources of the parents, defeat the other party and be proud, arrogant, and no one in sight.
Or just look up at each other and fall into a deep inferiority complex and resentment towards parents.
Obviously, neither outcome is what parents want to see.
Buying cake scraps for children and letting children wear ordinary miscellaneous brands of clothes are not a problem, the key is that parents first have an inferiority complex, thinking that they cannot give their children the best, which is their own failure.
Let the child accept the reality, and face the reality with the parents, guide the child to establish a correct "view of money", help the child establish the correct three views, and the child will grow and develop in a better direction.
Instead of being trapped in the "cake scraps" and unable to extricate themselves.
All children will encounter some individual problems in the process of growing up, or feel aggrieved that they cannot have a certain toy, or feel lonely because their material life is inferior to that of their classmates.
It is normal for the child to have these feelings, and it is not normal for the child to not express these feelings or not have these feelings.
When the child has these feelings, parents do not need to hide the family economic income from the child, can communicate patiently with the child, let the child correctly understand the current situation of the family, and hope that the child can face these with the parents and improve the family living conditions together in the future.
Do not underestimate the child's ability to bear, do not communicate and keep hidden will be easy for children to misunderstand, and even become inferior and aggrieved.
There is no need for parents to hide the current situation of the family from their children
Some parents, in order to provide a perfect growth space for their children, in order to avoid increasing pressure on their children and affecting their children's studies, do not mention the family income to their children.
This is not a good thing.
Children are also important members of the family, we should not always treat children as children, we should respect children, but also let children participate in family affairs, children have a sense of participation, will truly appreciate the parents' not easy, will not feel inferior because they can not get anything, will not be because of not getting a better material life and blame their parents.
From a realistic point of view, allowing children to participate in family affairs early, in addition to avoiding children's misunderstanding of their parents, can also promote children to be independent earlier and increase their sense of responsibility, which is of great help to children leave their parents in the future and enter the society to survive independently.