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When I went to the mall, I met a classmate I hadn't seen for a long time. She quickly pulled the baby in front of me, turned back to the baby and said, hurry up and say: Auntie is good. The child hid behind his mother very shyly, and the classmate angrily reprimanded the baby: Why are you so rude?
I quickly stopped my classmates, which is also a mistake that most parents are prone to make, parents meet acquaintances and let the baby say hello, which is Chinese politeness. Children may be shy, reluctant to speak, and not rude. If parents always reprimand their children for being rude, they may make their children psychologically stressed.
Chinese politeness, there are several manifestations
Etiquette education in the traditional way in our country is also a common traditional etiquette. Under the education of our parents' generation, we must understand etiquette from an early age. For example, if you see someone you are not familiar with, you should also go up and say hello. With the development of the times, such a polite education method is not necessarily appropriate, and it may hurt the baby.
First: The older child should let the younger ones go
Many parents follow this concept in family education, such as the story of Kong Rong's pear, which left a deep impression on us. In other words, parents generally believe that older siblings must let younger siblings. When there is a conflict between siblings, most parents will blame the older children. Blame them for being too ignorant and should let the little ones go. In fact, the children's age is almost the same, every child should be cared for by their parents, why should the older let the younger ones.
One sister said that from a very young age, her parents told her that you should let your sister do everything. The sister said she felt very wronged, as if she was doing anything wrong. She senses that her parents are doing something irrational, and fairness is paramount regardless of age.
Second: overly modest
"Pride makes people regress, modesty makes people progress". The traditional concept is based on self-humility, but excessive modesty is not a good thing for children. The cousin's children were excellent in primary school and ranked among the best in the class. Everyone will praise this child when they see it, saying that the baby is smart and clever, and the future is immeasurable. But the cousin will always say that she is not so good, always pick the shortcomings of the child, and rarely praise her own baby.
After the child entered junior high school, because he could not get the approval of his mother, he had doubts about his ability, and his grades dropped a lot, and the child became more and more inferior. In the process of children's growth, parents' excessive modesty will only hurt the baby, and when someone praises the child, parents should be honest to accept the praise.
Third: Sorry answer, not necessarily okay
When we are young, we may blindly tolerate when we are wronged, sometimes we are bullied by others, and in the apology of others, we will not die, and parents and teachers will tell us that polite children should know how to forgive others. When someone says I'm sorry, it doesn't matter if you answer.
This will make the child feel very depressed, even if he has been greatly hurt and wronged, he must choose to forgive. Parents should tell their children not to always choose to forgive others without boundaries, they can speak out when they have been wronged, and parents should help their children find their dignity.
Fourth: When you see someone, be sure to say hello
Children take the initiative to greet others, which is the standard of understanding politeness. When parents judge whether a person is polite, they will also see if he will take the initiative to greet someone when he meets him, and ask for warmth. Some children are introverted, shy, meet people they don't know well, and don't like to talk. For example, the baby of the same classmate, and I just met by chance are not familiar at all, the child does not want to talk is normal, why let the baby pretend to be very enthusiastic to say hello?
Parents should not let Chinese politeness hurt their children
When there is a conflict between children, understand the reason for the matter. There is a conflict between brothers and sisters, parents do not blame older children, why must they let their younger siblings? In fact, when there is a contradiction, most of the young babies deliberately provoke their brothers and sisters, because they know that their parents will blame the boss at the first time when there is a contradiction.
As a parent, you should understand in detail the reasons for the contradictions between children, carefully analyze them, and then use the right way to solve them fairly and justly.
Give your child more space. Children don't like to talk to unfamiliar people because their world is very simple. The baby feels like he doesn't know him at all, so why do you have to say hello?
The child talks to strangers and feels very embarrassed. Parents can give their children a little more space and time to guide them slowly. After getting familiar with it, the child will naturally take the initiative to say hello.
When your baby is praised, accept it calmly. When others praise their children, parents behave very modestly, always saying that the baby is not so good, and will find out the shortcomings of the child to blame, so that others can feel that they cannot be proud. If parents blindly look for problems in their children and do not praise their advantages, it will make the baby feel that she has no self-confidence.
Pillow Parenting Message:
Parents should not always use Chinese politeness to educate the baby, but should correctly guide the child and let the baby grow up in a friendly and good family atmosphere, so that the child can be cheerful and optimistic, and become more and more confident.
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