The famous Northern Song Dynasty writer Wang Anshi wrote in the Linchuan Anthology:
"Do not waste its good by being unkind."
This means that as a person, you should not use his bad side to deny his good side. To put it bluntly, know a person do not rush to evaluate, let alone blame.
Only by making specific analysis of specific problems, seeking truth from facts, and being objective and rational can we more correctly understand each other.
A kind of wisdom in dealing with the world is to be a person and do not evaluate and blame.
1: Don't judge
Randomly evaluating the behavior of others is both a manifestation of ignorance and a manifestation of narrow-mindedness.
In fact, where in this world are there perfect people?
However, there are always some people in life who always like to hold on to the temporary faults of others, catch who bites whom, whether the other party is wronged or not, or a momentary negligence, in short, it is ridicule and insult.
They think they are omniscient people, so they have enough ability and confidence to evaluate each other.
As everyone knows, such a proud and self-righteous person is the greatest ignorance.
Pavlov once said:
"Never think you know everything at any time. No matter how highly people value you, you always have the courage to say to yourself: I am a person who knows nothing. ”
People who evaluate others at will not only have insufficient quality, the pattern is not large, the vision is not high, but also special stinginess, no foresight, and can even be said to have an inexplicable sense of superiority.
On the contrary, even if he has the confidence and the right to evaluate the other party, but chooses not to evaluate, it just shows that he has a high quality.
Such a person knows his position, knows his own ability, and no matter what time, he has enough courage to tell himself that he is still an ordinary person, and he is also a person who only knows a little bit about this world.
Dai Sheng of the Han Dynasty in the Book of Rites:
"Gentlemen and Taoists forbid others to do what they say, so words must be concerned about their end, and deeds must be scrutinized, then the people are careful in their words and cautious in deeds."
Gentlemen must take into account the corresponding consequences when they speak and do things, and only by setting an example first, can the people around them learn to be as careful as themselves.
That is to say, people who like to evaluate others at will one day suffer from the same random evaluation from others.
Not evaluating others is a kind of cultivation; ignoring the evaluation of others is a kind of practice.
2: Don't blame it
As a person, why not blame others casually?
First of all, even if the other party is at fault first, you can completely blame the other party?
So let me ask you, what is the point of blaming and blaming the other party at this time?
Many people know that since things have happened, it is useless to blame the other party, but they are unhappy in their hearts, and even the more they think about it, the more uncomfortable it is.
Therefore, I can't help but crackle and drop each other, and it is even very likely that I will do some extreme behavior to hurt each other.
Gorky said:
"If we want to live, we should build for ourselves a clock full of feelings, thoughts and actions.
Replace it with this dull, monotonous, melancholy time that kills the mind, with a sense of blame and cold ticking. ”
Obviously, people want to be able to live a more comfortable and comfortable, happy and beautiful life.
However, how many people can adjust their mentality in time and learn to let go when they encounter troubles, changes, and things that are not caused by their own personal reasons, but they need to bear themselves?
Obviously, when many people encounter problems, the first thing they will do is blame, blame, and then all kinds of complaints and anger.
For them, it seems that by doing so, they can alleviate their own suffering and dissolve their own troubles.
But the truth is that the more you blame, the more unhappy you are, the more unhappy you are, and the more you want to make the other party pay a heavy price.
In the end, no one is happy, no one is uncomfortable.
Because he couldn't open his mind for a while, he couldn't put it down, and eventually he was depressed, strangled his soul, and was also full of hostility and dissatisfaction with the world.
Many times, people with quality, people with patterns, even if they know that the reason for the wrong things is not their own, they still will not blame anyone, and even be able to do themselves calmly.
Tagore said:
"Don't blame your food for not having an appetite for yourself."
Don't be sullen because others have done things you don't want to see, said things you don't want to hear, and then start to hold grudges, and even wait for opportunities to find ways to retaliate against each other and hurt each other.
Blindly blaming, scolding, or unfounded insults to others, in fact, hurts not only the other party, but also oneself.
People with a conscience, even if you don't blame them, even if you ignore them, they will look at themselves behind their backs and reflect on themselves.
And can people who have no conscience and shame repent because of your momentary rebuke?
3: Be yourself
Life is our own, whether it is our own affairs or other people's affairs, in the face of choice, we can only choose our own things.
This is because only when a person does a good job and does what he should do, can he live his true attitude and life without shame.
Be yourself and manage yourself, and that's enough.
If it is because of the mistakes of others for a while, or if it is always more true than what those who have no intention of repenting at all, and even become more serious.
Well, for you, it is undoubtedly a waste of mood and a waste of your precious time.
Just as you can't wake up a person who pretends to be asleep, so you can't change a person who simply won't listen to any of your comments and blames.
Because there is no difference between right and wrong in the bones of the other party, and there is no so-called humiliation.
Richter said:
"A person who remains humble after being blamed rather than praised is the true humility."
We can only change people who really have a spirit of self-examination and at the same time listen to change.
In a sense, these people have these qualities, and naturally there is no need for our active evaluation and opinion.
Therefore, quit your love of evaluation in time, like to blame others' personality and habits, put time and energy on yourself, and focus on your own growth.
In this way, we can truly live out the pattern, live the present, and achieve life.
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