I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
Wen | has a small bell pepper (the original is not easy, please do not copy, welcome to personal reprint and share)
Figure| source network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
In the past two days, the neighbor's grandmother has really upset her mother, who is a standard northern old lady, who speaks straight and straight, and also hates bending around and being connotated the most.
The other day I went out to run errands, my mother took the baby to dinner, and the neighbor grandma brought the baby to play.
Mom opened the door and said, "Oh, we're having lunch." ”
According to her understanding, when she said that when she had lunch, the other party should turn around and leave, because it means that this time is not convenient.
But the other party did not pay any attention at all, and directly took the baby into the door.
The home is underfloor heating, after the winter, the floor heating is turned on, the mother has to wipe the ground carefully every day, in order to provide a comfortable and clean environment for the baby, the neighbor baby wears shoes every time he comes and walks around.
Although the mother reminded her to take off her shoes, the 3-year-old did not know about these things, refused to take them off, and then began to walk to the mat and step on them.
Helplessly, the neighbor's grandmother did not care, and the mother could not forcibly take off her shoes.
Then the neighbor's grandmother stared at the food on the dinner table and said, "You eat this at noon, it's too good, we eat fish at noon, we still have ribs in the refrigerator." ”
On this day, my mother burned a green vegetable mushroom, a carrot potato, and added some dried beans, because yesterday I ate 7 ribs for the baby, and I reminded my mother to burn it lightly, so she cooked green vegetables for the baby.
The old lady said a word, the mother did not react for a while, she had only been here for two months, she did not understand this neighbor aunt at all, she was a little confused.
Only one sentence was said: "Her mother said to let you eat lightly, but did not answer the call." ”
Because of their visit, the baby did not have the heart to eat, only to eat two bites and refused to eat, the mother was annoyed, but it was not good.
The baby's non-eating is the thing that worries her the most.
Then the matter of making the mother upset was not over, she continued to chat: "Ah, your baby eats so little, my baby eats a lot!" If you don't eat well, how do you grow your body? ”
The old mother really couldn't help it, and replied: "Usually eat very well, there are guests, she is not good at eating." Besides, my baby is half a head taller than your family, aren't they 1 month apart? ”
……
After playing for about an hour, at 12 o'clock, the neighbor grandma finally came home with the baby.
After I went home, my mother spat with me, saying that she really had never seen such an uninteresting parent.
In the eyes of some parents, "their own babies are always better than others' homes"
For my mother's complaints, I laughed and listened to them, comforting her: It is good to get used to it. Everyone is a neighbor, look down and don't look up, don't make the relationship stiff, this is a small matter.
For this aunt, she has already experienced her skills, so it doesn't matter.
In the process of growing up, the baby is actually very different, basically according to a trajectory, unless a few geniuses will find another way.
My baby is more than a month older than the neighbor's baby, and for babies before the age of 2, one month older, the development node is significantly ahead.
Babies usually have a stage of curiosity when they see strangers, and then as they grow up a little, there may be a stage of resistance to strangers.
I remember when my baby was surrounded by everyone else in the community for a few months, haha laughed, she would say: "This is not safe, it is easy to be abducted, my baby will ignore strangers." ”
After that, my baby entered the stage of fear of birth, and when her baby entered the stage of liking or not being afraid of strangers, she would say: "Take the baby out to play, otherwise it is not good for the baby's personality, and my baby likes to contact strangers." ”
In the eyes of this aunt, her eldest granddaughter is the best, and the other children are far inferior to her own children.
But the neighbor mother is completely different, she will pay attention to the stage of the child's development, will objectively look at the child's problems.
So usually, the baby in the aunt's mouth and the baby in her daughter-in-law's mouth are two completely different beings.
Moms will say, "It's too hard for your baby to eat, it's a broken heart, and he used to be able to try it himself, but now he's going to feed it." ”
Grandma would say, "My baby can eat with peace of mind, eat more, and be able to eat on his own." ”
Mom will ask, "Does your baby still wake up at night?" My baby has not been able to sleep well lately. ”
When I arrived at My grandmother, it became: "My baby sleeps all night, and sleeps soundly." ”
Chatting with this aunt, she praised the baby all the time, and even denigrated other children, it was really uncomfortable to listen to, listened to too much, really did not want to listen to a word.
In the hearts of parents, of course, their own children are the best, but they know it, there is really no need for the whole world to agree with this point of view, if you must let the people around you agree with this point of view, not only will others not agree, but will breed the antipathy of others.
Socializing with a baby still needs to pay more attention
Parents' behavior affects not only the impression of others, but also the children.
Blunt sense is strong, at some point is a good thing, but if the blunt sense is too strong in the social process, it will make others resentful, and may make the child also become a person who does not know how to observe the color, which is not good for the child's future social interaction.
In the process of socializing with the baby, it is still necessary to consider the feelings of others and try not to cause trouble to others.
Even if you play with your baby in public, try to put away the "sense of superiority", because what you think is "excellent" is "ordinary" in the eyes of others.
You think that your baby is the best, other parents will think so, there is really no need to emphasize that your children are excellent, belittle other people's children, and cause others to be unhappy.
Bringing a baby is an art, socializing with a baby is an art, parents must be more conscious, in order to bring out the conscious baby.