Many moms and dads leave us messages saying that their babies have recently become particularly "difficult", and this can't work, that doesn't work, like a perfectionist. Like what:
There can be no spots on the apple, and the dragon fruit only eats red hearts;
Enter the door must let him open the door, the key must be placed in the designated position;
Before going to bed, you must first wash your face, brush your teeth, and finally change your pajamas, and the order cannot be chaotic;
All the toys must be neatly arranged by a family of three, if one is missing, then don't think about it until you find it...
Some people think that the baby is funny like this, and some people feel very irritable: such a small person, how can there be so many things?
In fact, it is really not that they have a lot of things, and the reason why babies have these "perfectionist" performances is because they have entered a very important and mysterious period: the sensitive period of order.
What is the sensitive period of order?
Simply put, there will be a stage in which you want everything around you to be organized and predictable.
The famous children's educator Maria Montessori believed that a sense of order was a natural need. If you show your 3-month-old baby a symmetrical, balanced portrait, he'll be especially happy — it's actually a sign of your baby's innate preference for order.
By the age of 1 to 3, the baby's self-awareness will explode, and they will enter a period of the most sensitive and demanding order. If their demands are not met, they will be restless, crying, or stubbornly asking Mom and Dad to do it again.
Therefore, many of the baby's behaviors in this period, whether you call it stubbornness, rebellion or perfectionism, are actually behind the sensitive period of order.
So why is order sensitive to your baby so important?
First of all, the baby's sense of order = sense of security
When he first came out of his mother's womb, the baby actually came from a warm and familiar environment to a completely unknown and uncertain world, and he would feel very insecure inside. At this time, it was his mother's patient companionship and care that gave him an initial sense of security.
By 8 months, when your baby learns to climb, he begins to be able to leave his mother and explore the world. At this time, in the face of new unknowns and new uncertainties, the order in the environment becomes his new source of security - knowing where things are, what they are, how things will happen, and with such a basic sense of order, he has more courage to explore the world.
In fact, we adults will also have this need: a relatively stable job, a relatively regular life, a relatively fixed circle of friends, will make you feel more calm and safe, right?
Second, a sense of order = the basis for cognitive development
The establishment of a sense of order will help your baby form and deepen his understanding of abstract concepts. For example, when playing at home, out of the need for order, the baby will give the big teacup to the big doll, and the small teacup to the small doll. Executing such an order can help them more intuitively understand the concepts of big and small.
Sensitivity to order can also help them to observe daily life, understand the order of things, cause and effect, and form preliminary reasoning - every time it rains, we have to bring an umbrella when we go out; as soon as it gets dark, my mother comes back from work.
After the order sensitive period, the baby's cognition will get a preliminary development, laying the foundation for more complex advanced thinking and order aesthetics.
Third, a sense of order = the germination of a sense of rules
In the sensitive period of order, the baby will pay great attention to rules and order, so the mother's mobile phone must be held in the mother's hand, and the car should be arranged in a specific order - this sense of order is actually the bud of the rule consciousness.
We can make use of the baby's sensitivity to order, on the one hand, to help him cultivate a sense of rules, such as using the family to cultivate the awareness of property rights and fairness, and using the arrangement of cars to teach him traffic rules. On the other hand, it can also cultivate his orderly work, regular schedule, and good living habits, and help him better adapt to social life.
In short, the sense of order is of great significance to babies, and the sensitive period of order is also a particularly important stage on their growth path.
At this stage, the baby may often have such and such requirements, always repeat some monotonous things, do not allow everyone to make mistakes, and blow up hair when they are not happy... All of this especially consumes the patience of Mom and Dad.
However, when we try to understand his emotions and the reasons behind the unreasonable trouble, we will see that he is only maintaining his inner sense of order.
Therefore, as long as we do not violate the principle of big, we can try our best to conform to the development characteristics of the baby, meet his requirements for a sense of order, and help him grow better.
This article was reviewed by special expert Li Tingyu (Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences).
The stage of stubbornness will not last forever, and as the child grows, he will be more receptive to changes in the environment and things, and will no longer pursue order like obsessive-compulsive disorder to gain a sense of security.
What are your baby's manifestations of order sensitivity? Welcome to share with us in the message area~